How would you handle this situation?

OK- a few weeks ago I posted about my friends. Their baby was born very sick yet very alive (he was supposed to die once outside the womb). He's hanging in there, a little fighter.

This is all very good news. He's still in the NICU but he could possibly be able to come home.

The bad news: his parents are SLOBS. Words don't exist for me to describe the filth they live in. 5 animals in a one bedroom apartment, dirt and hair everywhere, etc. It's not that their place is just slobby with things 'out of place'.. it's genuinely FILTHY.

They have a cat that lives in their bedroom b/c it doesn't get along w. the other animals and there is litter and food all over the floor! When the cat gets mad it defecates on their bed!

A mutual friend of ours said she would take the cat in the bedroom so at least they can have a 'pet free' zone for them & the baby. Well they have no problem not cleaning up for the baby- and he has BREATHING PROBLEMS!

Someone has to tell them that these conditions aren't acceptable. I'm practically ready to lay it on the line and if they don't want to talk to me, fine..

What would you do? Let it go?

Re: How would you handle this situation?

I would NOT let it go! If the child has breathing problems a small apartment w/ 5 animals is the WORSE thing for it. ESPECIALLY if they don't clean after them. I would tell them to seriously consider letting the other friend take the cat. And tell them they HAVE to do a major cleaning. The child comes first that's it! There shouldn't be a second thought to it!!!

Re: How would you handle this situation?

Oh no didn't realize it was *that* bad. I would totally say something - trying not to make them look like bad parents but to help them snap out of it and realize that the baby's health - this precious gift they have been given!! - comes first and foremost. They say people's lives completely change when a baby comes - and the really need to adapt to the situation. I don't think they wouldn't talk to you anymore.

Re: How would you handle this situation?

hECK NO! Talk to them!

OMG that is sooooo unsanitary!

I don't want to hurt animal lover's feelings (I like animals but if I never have one of my own I won't feel like I'm missing out) but I don't think I could ever have a pet near a newborn child. I'd be too scared of germs. After a few weeks wehn the baby's resistance is better then I wouldn't mind so much but not right away!

YEs yes yes talk to them!!!!!

Re: How would you handle this situation?

how would you guys bring it up? do I bring it up casually? do I write a letter?

Re: How would you handle this situation?

I would just say.. i feel that i am close enough to you to tell you what I am feeling .....

and tell it to them straight.. tell them that this baby is the most important thing in their lives right now and you feel that the animals beed to go away for the sake of the healtyh of the baby...

Be honest... and be straight forward with them.. maybe even get them a cleaning service to come in as a ' gift' to welcome the baby into the world..

IMO i would feel so guilty if something happened to this little baby and I did not do sometbhing if i had the chance...

I wish you lots of luck...

Re: How would you handle this situation?

you guys are right.

I will wait until talk of the baby possibly coming home. then I will talk with them... tell them we all want to spring for a cleaning service, etc.

Re: How would you handle this situation?

I would just talk to them and say you have been reading alot ...... and read how dust, etc.... is bad for babies breathing,e tc....

Re: How would you handle this situation?

I would definately talk to them.

Re: How would you handle this situation?

Could you imagine if you DIDN'T tell them and someone else wasn't so nice??? Like calling CPS or something like that?

That is no way for a child to live. Let us know how it works out.

Re: How would you handle this situation?

I think it is such a delicate situation that it needs to be done in person.
Let them know of your experiences, see if you can find any articles online to support this- so that there is 3rd party information...not just your opinion.

Tell them you need to talk to them openly and honestly about a very important topic.
Be gentle.
Expect some resistance...especially if you are recommending that they give up animals for adoption.

Maybe they are strapped for cash too and that is why they are in such a tight space.
(but heck, soap and elbow grease dont cost that much!)

See if you can enlist the aid of their dr to speak with them

let us know how it goes....you are a good friend to take this step!