Vent....wedding etiquette going to hell!!!

Here is the dilemma: FH and I sent out invitations, ok they start coming in....I personally had calligraphy done (on both envelopes inside/outside) with each guests first name on the inside envelope holding the invite, you would think there would be a clear understanding of who and how many are invited...well we receive an rsvp from a friend of mine (her invite only had her name on it) and she decides to add her baby's daddy on it and indicate their entree choices....I am so peeved right now, people have no manners, she then writes a note on the rsvp stating she is staying at the hotel I booked for our immediate family only, gives her airline info, etc....on our wedding website I have several hotels listed and I clearly stated the one for immediate family only because of our RD and after wedding brunch the next day (WE DID NOT WANT FRIENDS CRASHING SOMETHING PERSONAL)....my MOH is like forget it and add her boyfriend and move on, my FH and I are like "NO"...what are we supposed to do now?! I need ADVICE LADIES!!!

Re: Vent....wedding etiquette going to hell!!!

How RUDE!!!!!!!

How about you call her and tell her you are at your room limit and can have no additional people?

Re: Vent....wedding etiquette going to hell!!!

I'm fearing this too when my time comes. Personally, I would just add the baby daddy; but make sure you reiterate that she is not to attend the RD and brunch.

Re: Vent....wedding etiquette going to hell!!!

I know you guys are against calling people, but in this case you really have to. Call her and say, "listen, we really look forward to having you at our reception, but unfortunately because of our budget we werent able to invite (baby daddy). As for the hotel stay I wouldnt make a fuss of it, but let her know that the brunch is STRICTLY for family only and that she is not invited. You do run the risk of her deciding not to go, but hey, that's one less guest you need to worry about. Good Luck!!

Re: Vent....wedding etiquette going to hell!!!

I'm afriad of this happening also...but I agree with divabride. You have to call her and be like look I'm sorry but we are paying for this wedding and really can't afford to have extra people attend. Some people just don't realize that that extra person is another 80 bucks or whatever you are paying per person.
Also I guess you could let the hotel thing go but you can mention to her that it was supposed to be for imediate family only. Good Luck!

Re: Vent....wedding etiquette going to hell!!!

As for the hotel, there's nothing you can do, it's a free world and she can stay where she likes. I don't think you should have listed it on your wedding site if you didn't want your other guests to stay there. She's not invited to the RD and day after brunch so that shouldn't be an issue.

While your invites are clear about who is invited I could understand that she may want to include her boyfriend since she will be flying into town and staying at a hotel, who likes to do that alone?

You are going to have to call her ASAP and tell her that only she is invited, hopefully before she made airline reservations.

Good luck!

Message edited 6/25/2004 10:16:12 AM.

Re: Vent....wedding etiquette going to hell!!!

That is BEYOND rude! Wow, I didn't think people could be like that.

Re: Vent....wedding etiquette going to hell!!!

It was very rude on her part to assume she can bring someone but if it were me, I would just let it go. It's your choice however, and if it bothers you...I would call her and explain your reasons.

Best of luck to you.

Re: Vent....wedding etiquette going to hell!!!

I am a cynic and speak my mind, I don't care if she has been your BFF since kindergarten...call her arse up and say, "look, i am so excited you are coming but your baby's daddy was not invited due to our budget. i wish there was some way around it, but unfortunatly there is not." it is a very polite way of telling her that he is NOT INVITED. here is an example of how being nice can be bad, 2 women claiming to be Contessa's showed up at my parents wedding and they allowed the alleged Contessa's to stay. Well, these 2 called 2 more Contessa's and all four of them ended up in almost every pic in the album!

Re: Vent....wedding etiquette going to hell!!!

My SIL didn't want to invite this one so called friend from college to her wedding but she kept inviting herself, etc. Finally she got one of her friends who was invited with a date to bring her. She tried to upstage the day at every turn to the point where she showed her booty(no underwear) during a line dance. People like this tend to overrun every element of the day. Call her and firmly tell her the invite was very clear and you are sorry but it is limited to her only. If she decides not to attend, all I can say is you are probably better off.

Re: Vent....wedding etiquette going to hell!!!

---

Posted by ChristineC68

As for the hotel, there's nothing you can do, it's a free world and she can stay where she likes. I don't think you should have listed it on your wedding site if you didn't want your other guests to stay there. She's not invited to the RD and day after brunch so that shouldn't be an issue.

While your invites are clear about who is invited I could understand that she may want to include her boyfriend since she will be flying into town and staying at a hotel, who likes to do that alone?

You are going to have to call her ASAP and tell her that only she is invited, hopefully before she made airline reservations.

Good luck!

---