fmil broached the rabbi/priest issue AGAIN (vent)

when we were visiting them in florida a couple of months ago fmil said that she was uncomfortable with our having a rabbi/priest combo for our ceremony. we acknowledged it but didn't say what we were planning on doing, and it was never mentioned again.

so just now fh gets an email saying "please consider this. why don't you just have a judge perform a civil ceremony?". he wrote back what i thought was a great reply - he said that he feels like she is trying to deny or hide or forget about the religious differences between us. and we want to do the opposite - we want our ceremony to be a joyful merging of two traditions. so we'll see what she says to that.

but that's not really what irks me. what makes me FURIOUS is that over the last couple of days we've been emailing back and forth about my dress, she's telling me how happy she is to have me in the family and how excited she is for the wedding! and then she turns around and writes this to fh!! it just strikes me as sneaky. and it makes me really sad and mad and turns me off from sharing my wedding plans with her.

this is NOT how i wanted things to be

Re: fmil broached the rabbi/priest issue AGAIN (vent)

Does it matter what she wants?? No, it is you and your FH's wedding. It is all about you. I think his response in the email to her was perfect and I'd be shocked if she had the gall to write back about it again!!

Re: fmil broached the rabbi/priest issue AGAIN (vent)

the wedding is you and your fh's, not her's so dont worry what she says about it, it will be a wonderful day

Re: fmil broached the rabbi/priest issue AGAIN (vent)

do what you need for you...it is your day and you ned to be happy

Re: fmil broached the rabbi/priest issue AGAIN (vent)

I'm so sorry. I got through the same crap. ANytime we're with FH's family they want to breach the whole religion issue. We're happy the way we are nad happy to merge the faiths in our ceremony and our lives. Look, it's your wedding, and once the I Do's are said, nothing cna tear you apart. Live it your way. it does seem sneaky and irritating the wya she's acting, but maybe she's just trying to be really nice to you, but voicing her concerns to him b/c she dones't want to upset you. I don't think shes neccessarily insincere.