Can I take a min to vent/ask for advice?

I apologize in advance for this vent, it might be long.

A while ago I posted that I was having trouble with one of my bm's (lets call her Katie) - one of my supposed best friends. She was totally unsupportive, never asked how I was doing, or came to help me with anything (I'm planning my wedding here on my own - all my friends live far away and so does my family - she lives closest to me in Westchester). Well we talked about it and I thought everything was figured out.

So anyways, Katie decides shes going to plan my b-party, which of course I appreciate. She says dont worry, I'll handle everything. Not so - she basically asked me what I wanted to do - I told her - and she said ok, but why dont we do this (her alt. plan was something that was completely tailored to her needs, and wasnt my first choice at all). After going back and forth for a couple of weeks I finally gave in cause I couldnt win. Fine.

So we got a hotel room in the city, and 3 people are coming out of town to stay, so it would be me, those 3 people, and Katie in the hotel - and we'd fit fine. Well last night she says, So I think I'm going to stay with my boyfriend at his apt in the city (on the other side of town) so you have more room in the hotel. Well this p*ssed me off - HELLO you're by BM, you're planning this, and now you're bailing - and I KNOW that she'll leave the party early - she does that all the time. At the time I didnt respond I was so shocked - and now I feel like it's too late to say somethng about it. It just frustrates me and hurts my feelings too.

To make matters worse, I hear that she was totally against my shower. My best friend who lives in WA was trying to plan it all herself and make it a surprise. Katie was like NO WAY should it be a surprise thats so stupid - I mean she's getting married, of COURSE she's going to know she's having a shower, thats so stupid to make it a surprise. So now, because of Katie's lack of help, the whole thing has fallen through and now I'm not having a shower. My friend in WA is SO pissed at her, and I am too, but really I'm hurt more than anything. There have been numerous other things too - she's b*tched and complained about stuff and hasn't shown me any support -the only thing she did was "plan" my b-party, and shes even trying to bail out of that early.

What do I do? I'm tired of feeling like shes trying to ruin my day. It especially hurts me because her friend got married last year, and she went ALL out for her - she had a huge surprise shower, a b-party in South Beach, she was totally involved. And she couldnt care less about mine.

Am I justified in being hurt? Should I say something to her? I dont konw what to do anymore.

Thanks for listening.

Re: Can I take a min to vent/ask for advice?

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. I understand how you feel. I'm going to FM you.

Re: Can I take a min to vent/ask for advice?

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Posted by Ang&Rich



I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. I understand how you feel. I'm going to FM you.

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Re: Can I take a min to vent/ask for advice?

You are justified in being hurt, I am so sorry

Re: Can I take a min to vent/ask for advice?

Honestly, I would cancel the city plans, say F her and do what YOU want to do with your friends. Even if it's just going to lunch and mani/pedis... do what you want to be happy.

Re: Can I take a min to vent/ask for advice?

So sorry .. I would tell her exactly what u told us... get it all out now.

Re: Can I take a min to vent/ask for advice?

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Posted by AnniesSS

Honestly, I would cancel the city plans, say F her and do what YOU want to do with your friends. Even if it's just going to lunch and mani/pedis... do what you want to be happy.

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Re: Can I take a min to vent/ask for advice?

shameless shameless bump to ask if brides ever ususally chip in for their own bachelorette party (looks like I'm expected to chip in for mine)?

I have been to 2 and the bride has never paid...but I just wanted to make sure of what the rule is.

Thanks!

Re: Can I take a min to vent/ask for advice?

Never heard of the bride chipping in..

Re: Can I take a min to vent/ask for advice?

That's just awful!!!! I wish I had some advice but some people are just selfish and don't understand. I wish I could throw you your shower- that is just not fair!

Re: Can I take a min to vent/ask for advice?

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Posted by EireBride-to-Be

shameless shameless bump to ask if brides ever ususally chip in for their own bachelorette party (looks like I'm expected to chip in for mine)?

I have been to 2 and the bride has never paid...but I just wanted to make sure of what the rule is.

Thanks!

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Re: Can I take a min to vent/ask for advice?

I hope everything turns out ok.