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Engagement Gift Question - personal?
becca888 Posted: Mar 16, 2006 04:56 PM+
becca888 MEMBER SINCE: 3/06 TOTAL POSTS : 96 WEDDING DATE: Aug 08, 2008
Posted: Mar 16, 2006 04:56 PM bride-minus.png

Engagement Gift Question - personal?

Hi girls, I don't know if this is a sensitive issue.

I was wondering if your parents or FIL's gave you and FH a gift for your engagement. One friend's parents are making a party as their 'gift'. My cousin said each set of parents bought them something for their home (no e-party). Another friend said no gift, their contribution to the wedding cost is their gift.

I was hoping for an e-party, and was going to tell our parents that could be their gift to us, but maybe they weren't planning on a gift at all? We got engaged a month ago, my parents had FIL's over for dinner and we celebrated with champagne. We're not a big family that usually throws big parties.

Should I bring it up? Should FH and I plan a party and pay for it ourselves? First bridge to cross!

TIA!
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spring06bride Posted: Mar 16, 2006 04:59 PM+
spring06bride MEMBER SINCE: 11/05 TOTAL POSTS : 513 WEDDING DATE: Mar 25, 2006
Posted: Mar 16, 2006 04:59 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Engagement Gift Question - personal?

depends. I think if you wanted to throw an engagement party for yourselves, then do it without the expectation of your parents offering to help you out. If and when they do, you'll be pleasantly surprised!

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becca888 Posted: Mar 16, 2006 08:43 PM+
becca888 MEMBER SINCE: 3/06 TOTAL POSTS : 96 WEDDING DATE: Aug 08, 2008
Posted: Mar 16, 2006 08:43 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Engagement Gift Question - personal?

Thanks, good suggestion!

Seems like most brides on the board have engagement parties, and I wondered if it's ok to host our own!

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MsKitty1274 Posted: Mar 16, 2006 08:49 PM+
MsKitty1274 MEMBER SINCE: 7/04 TOTAL POSTS : 3551 WEDDING DATE: Jun 25, 2006
Posted: Mar 16, 2006 08:49 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Engagement Gift Question - personal?

We paid for our e-party, and our parents (all 4, seeing as both sets are divorced) gave us gifts. All monitary, all different amounts.
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Meaghan729 Posted: Mar 16, 2006 08:53 PM+
Meaghan729 MEMBER SINCE: 1/06 TOTAL POSTS : 2456 WEDDING DATE: Jul 29, 2007
Posted: Mar 16, 2006 08:53 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Engagement Gift Question - personal?

FH's family is very against engagement gifts and engagement parties. They said they are saving the gifts until the wedding.

I personally don't like formal E-parties, but if you want one, I would throw it yourself. we are planning to have a family bbq in the summer, so the families can meet. my family gave us E-gifts, mostly small monetary gifts or things for the wedding (cake topper, etc).
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bride2b24 Posted: Mar 16, 2006 09:11 PM+
bride2b24 MEMBER SINCE: 12/05 TOTAL POSTS : 4404 WEDDING DATE: Jul 28, 2007
Posted: Mar 16, 2006 09:11 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Engagement Gift Question - personal?

i think every family's situation is different.....my mom is contributing to our eparty as for FILs we'll see....
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Boop2704 Posted: Mar 16, 2006 09:28 PM+
Boop2704 MEMBER SINCE: 3/03 TOTAL POSTS : 6048 WEDDING DATE: Feb 07, 2004
Posted: Mar 16, 2006 09:28 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Engagement Gift Question - personal?

My mom paid for our e-party..heck she was so excited I got engaged she planned the whole thing too...that was our engagement gift from her and my father in law gave us a cash gift. My parents are divorced and my dad and stepmom took us out to dinner and gave us a cash gift. Its still early, you've only been engaged for a month, maybe they haven't thought of it yet, maybe mention in conversation with your parents that you and FH are thinking of having an engagement party, maybe they will offer to host it, and do the same with FH's parents, mention it and feel them out. Congratulations on your engagement!!
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lisad117 Posted: Mar 16, 2006 10:12 PM+
lisad117 MEMBER SINCE: 2/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1342 WEDDING DATE: May 19, 2006
Posted: Mar 16, 2006 10:12 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Engagement Gift Question - personal?

My parents gave us an engagement gift, his mother didn't even send a card but I think it might have been because FH was married before. I didn't want a party but if we had one we probably would have thrown it for ourselves.
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BJandDan Posted: Mar 16, 2006 10:14 PM+
BJandDan MEMBER SINCE: 6/05 TOTAL POSTS : 4576 WEDDING DATE: Jul 01, 2006
Posted: Mar 16, 2006 10:14 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Engagement Gift Question - personal?

Nope, nothing. We through a get together for our parents to meet afterwards. My father did cook the steak, does that count?
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glinda_goodwitch Posted: Mar 16, 2006 10:16 PM+
glinda_goodwitch MEMBER SINCE: 3/05 TOTAL POSTS : 8731 WEDDING DATE: Jun 17, 2006
Posted: Mar 16, 2006 10:16 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Engagement Gift Question - personal?

We didn't have an e-party. My FILs gave us a card and a generous monetary gift, and my parents took us out for a nice dinner.

Have your parents met yet? It might be nice to have a small gathering, not so much an e-party but a get together for the families to meet. You could bring it up that way and see what they say.
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Soon2BeMrsS Posted: Mar 16, 2006 10:37 PM+
Soon2BeMrsS MEMBER SINCE: 6/05 TOTAL POSTS : 5286 WEDDING DATE: Nov 11, 2011
Posted: Mar 16, 2006 10:37 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Engagement Gift Question - personal?


Posted by spring06bride

depends. I think if you wanted to throw an engagement party for yourselves, then do it without the expectation of your parents offering to help you out. If and when they do, you'll be pleasantly surprised!




I was going to suggest the same thing
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stlmn2u Posted: Mar 16, 2006 10:49 PM+
stlmn2u MEMBER SINCE: 2/06 TOTAL POSTS : 1885 WEDDING DATE: May 04, 2008
Posted: Mar 16, 2006 10:49 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Engagement Gift Question - personal?

My future in laws didn't give a gift nor did they give us a card....Not one of them....But as for my parents....My mom bought us our toasting flutes, paid for our engagement announcements, bought us a coffee pot and our cake serving set for the wedding.....
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becca888 Posted: Mar 16, 2006 10:59 PM+
becca888 MEMBER SINCE: 3/06 TOTAL POSTS : 96 WEDDING DATE: Aug 08, 2008
Posted: Mar 16, 2006 10:59 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Engagement Gift Question - personal?

Thanks ladies, you're suggestions are helpful. We already did the dinner get-together, so I think we will just suggest that we want to make a small party and take it from there. I just don't want to spend alot of $$ as we are saving for our 'share' of the wedding.

I think a house party would be great if one of our mom's is willing!
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becca888 Posted: Mar 17, 2006 12:13 AM+
becca888 MEMBER SINCE: 3/06 TOTAL POSTS : 96 WEDDING DATE: Aug 08, 2008
Posted: Mar 17, 2006 12:13 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Engagement Gift Question - personal?

People have mentioned toasting flutes, cake toppers, cake cutting sets, etc. Do the halls supply these and people just buy them as keepsakes? I'm new at this
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EmberLynn Posted: Mar 17, 2006 12:55 AM+
EmberLynn MEMBER SINCE: 11/03 TOTAL POSTS : 3611 WEDDING DATE: Oct 06, 2006
Posted: Mar 17, 2006 12:55 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Engagement Gift Question - personal?

My FH and I thrown our selves an e-party. Mainly because our parents NEVER met. My mom and dad gave joe and I money to pay for the e-party so I didn't expect anything from them. But his parents gave us a gift.
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ballnchain1010 Posted: Mar 17, 2009 05:15 PM+
ballnchain1010 MEMBER SINCE: 3/09 TOTAL POSTS : 66 WEDDING DATE: Oct 10, 2009
Posted: Mar 17, 2009 05:15 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Engagement Gift Question - personal?

we paid for our own eparty. both parents gave monetary gifts. i def. would not bring it up...if they were willing, they'd offer. you want it, you pay for it.
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