Need Your Honest Opinion-Gun at a wedding-UPDATE

Thank you all so much for the input on this. It made FH and I decide that we are going to ask that he leave his gun at home. I am co-hosting another BM's baby shower in a few weeks with this person so I am going to wait until after that to have the conversation, just in case it does not go well. I love this site, and all the supportive ladies on it!


One of my BM's, who is also a great friend has recently moved in with her boyfriend who is a NYC police Officer. He carries a gun 24/7 and makes sure that it is visible to anyone around him. He will put it in the middle of the dinner table when you have dinner at his house, this has happened twice. He also goes out drinking with it on. He is very 'aggressive' about his job and loves to tell stories about beating 'perps' up. Our issue is that we do not agree with this, and find it scary. We are going to have children, and open bar at our wedding and do not want his gun there. He will not come to our home because he is not allowed to bring his gun. If we tell him to please not bring it to the wedding, I am guessing my friend will drop out. She stands by him 100%, no matter what. What would you do?

Re: Need Your Honest Opinion-Gun at a wedding

I would simply tell her the truth. The two of them are invited but the gun isn't. If she drops out, then she isn't a good enough friend to care about your feelings and you are better off without her.

Re: Need Your Honest Opinion-Gun at a wedding

He sounds a little crazy to me. No offense. This is your wedding...... If he brings it, make sure it is where no one can see or touch it. If your friend doesn't understand your point of view, um......well.... who wouldn't understand why you don't want a gun on the table at your wedding? I am sorry you even have to worry about this. I wish you luck!!!

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That's a tricky situation. My aunt and uncle had a similar situation at their wedding with a good friend of theirs. This guy (also NYPD) was in their wedding and brought his gun. He got totally polluted and was telling ppl at the reception that he had his gun with him and even showed some ppl. My aunt and uncle didn't know any of this until after the reception and they were really annoyed. It just wasn't was really innappropriate and dangerous. I would try to talk to the couple and explain your concerns and hopefully they will understand. Good Luck..

Re: Need Your Honest Opinion-Gun at a wedding

HELL NO!!!! There is no reason to have a gun at a wedding.

People drinking...could get rowdy or someone could just mistakenly step on someone's foot and get them upset....then having a gun around will not help the situation any.


I would stick to your gut....if your friend chooses her bf and his idiot-ness over your wedding day, shes not worth it.

Re: Need Your Honest Opinion-Gun at a wedding

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Posted by superkat

I would simply tell her the truth. The two of them are invited but the gun isn't. If she drops out, then she isn't a good enough friend to care about your feelings and you are better off without her.

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Well said. I agree 100%.

Re: Need Your Honest Opinion-Gun at a wedding

Tell him that your RH doesn't allow guns and I am almost sure that if they did see a gun on the table they probably would say something.

Re: Need Your Honest Opinion-Gun at a wedding

OMG! I'm incredibly passionate about my profession as well - but I'm not bringing a stethescope!!!

What the heck? Of course he can't bring a gun if you don't want him too. It's your wedding and you get to say who's invited. I would feel so incredibly uncomfortable if someone brought a gun to my wedding. And not only would I feel uncomfortable, I'd actually feel 'unsafe' b/c I don't think this person is stable enough to even own a gun. If he thinks he needs to have a gun at all times to protect himself, well then I'd say he has a Paranoid Personality Disorder.

Re: Need Your Honest Opinion-Gun at a wedding

I would trust your gut....If you think it will be a problem, then 'Just say No!'

If your friend drops out...Oh well......you have plenty of other friends who respect you more than she does....Sorry! JMO

Maybe the guy should choose something that is important to his girlfriend over his gun....

Re: Need Your Honest Opinion-Gun at a wedding

THANK YOU LADIES!! Keep them coming--PLEASE!! I need lots of courage to talk to her and explain my situation.

Re: Need Your Honest Opinion-Gun at a wedding

Tell him the reception hall has a no gun policy. They probably do!

Re: Need Your Honest Opinion-Gun at a wedding

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Posted by EverlovingEv

OMG! I'm incredibly passionate about my profession as well - but I'm not bringing a stethescope!!!

What the heck? Of course he can't bring a gun if you don't want him too. It's your wedding and you get to say who's invited. I would feel so incredibly uncomfortable if someone brought a gun to my wedding. And not only would I feel uncomfortable, I'd actually feel 'unsafe' b/c I don't think this person is stable enough to even own a gun. If he thinks he needs to have a gun at all times to protect himself, well then I'd say he has a Paranoid Personality Disorder.

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LOL..... but yes i agree, who would honestly want to sit at table with him?

Re: Need Your Honest Opinion-Gun at a wedding

OMG i cant believe that he is that crazy. I'm also a police officer and ill tell ya one thing i sure as hell am not going to have my gun strapped onto my garter belt the day of my wedding! All i have to say as a cop is that it is very irresponsible of him to have his gun present at an event where there will be alcohol, he should know better to leave it at home, locked and in a safe place. Its YOUR wedding, remember that, and if your friend is a TRUE friend she'll understand and respect your requests as to not having her bf bring his gun, its one night w/o his lil gun i'm sure he'll be fine. Honestly unless your having your own security at the door which I dont think you are but what police action is he really gonna take at your beautiful wedding. Speak your mind and stick to YOUR guns...good luck and i wish you the best!!!

Re: Need Your Honest Opinion-Gun at a wedding

Yeah...No gun.
Even if it was covered...tell him its going to be left in the car.

Re: Need Your Honest Opinion-Gun at a wedding

My brother was like that the first few years on the job but doesn't drink booze at all..never has. But anyway like everyone said NO GUNS at the hall. Insurance doesn't cover it.

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Stand strong on this one.

There is absolutely NO NEED to bring a gun to a wedding and if he doesn't see that, too bad.

First of all, its too dangerous with alcohol involved and all those people...

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My DH's cousin is a retired NYPD cop. I didn't care that he wears his gun...but he is discrete and very stable. This person however does not sound as stable. I would put your foot down and say no.

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That would scare me too if someone was making it known that he had a gun. I have two children myself so that would really concern me as well.

Re: Need Your Honest Opinion-Gun at a wedding

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Posted by NinaChris07

Stand strong on this one.

There is absolutely NO NEED to bring a gun to a wedding and if he doesn't see that, too bad.

First of all, its too dangerous with alcohol involved and all those people...

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Not only that, but GOD FORBID one of the kids picks it up? I would talk to her about it and be open and honest. It doesn't matter that he's a cop, he does not need a gun at a wedding.

Re: Need Your Honest Opinion-Gun at a wedding

i would flat out tell him....if he can't respect that so be it

and isn't there some sort of policy about an officer having their gun while their drinking??? why do i think that is prohibited