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FH and RC Church - they are not making friends!!
cluelessbride Posted: Mar 16, 2003 05:15 PM+
cluelessbride MEMBER SINCE: 8/02 TOTAL POSTS : 4570 WEDDING DATE: Oct 23, 2004
Posted: Mar 16, 2003 05:15 PM bride-minus.png

FH and RC Church - they are not making friends!!

Hi Ladies- (This is also posted on the BHB boards, but I figured the Newlyweds could answer this best)

It's nice to be back on the boards - I took a break due to FH church drama described below:

Here's my question: Is it possible for me and my FH to get married in the Catholic Church if he never made his Communion or Confirmation?

The thing is, we went to see the priest like 2 months ago, and at the time my FH signed up for religious ed classes so that he could make his Holy Communion and Confirmation sacraments. (He was only baptized). We were really excited but then the priest never called us like he said he would. So we called him, and he never called back. My FH REFUSES to call the priest again, he thinks it's so rude that he never called us (or returned our call) and now he wants nothing to do with the sacraments. He's totally tunred off! I can't say I blame him, but I still want to be married in the church.

I know you can have a mass or just a ceremony - maybe I have just a ceremony if FH can't receive communion? Help!!
Thanks!
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Karen H Posted: Mar 16, 2003 06:38 PM+
Karen H MEMBER SINCE: 2/01 TOTAL POSTS : 1890 WEDDING DATE: Apr 28, 2001
Posted: Mar 16, 2003 06:38 PM bride-minus.png

Re: FH and RC Church - they are not making friends!!

My husband is Catholic and I was baptised in the Methodist faith. We were married in the Catholic church with the short service, not a full mass, and during communion, the priest gave me a blessing so it would not look like I was just passed by. I think the only stipulation for our marraige was that I had to have been baptised to be married in the church.
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shamma Posted: Mar 16, 2003 07:38 PM+
shamma MEMBER SINCE: 10/01 TOTAL POSTS : 19166 WEDDING DATE: Aug 03, 2002
Posted: Mar 16, 2003 07:38 PM bride-minus.png

Re: FH and RC Church - they are not making friends!!

Fm Nylisa, she knows a lot about this topic, she totally schooled me on this last week. I wish you the best
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Melissa Posted: Mar 16, 2003 08:02 PM+
Melissa MEMBER SINCE: 3/01 TOTAL POSTS : 2403 WEDDING DATE: Aug 31, 2002
Posted: Mar 16, 2003 08:02 PM bride-minus.png

Re: FH and RC Church - they are not making friends!!

My husband and I got married in a Catholic Church, and I never made my Communion or Confirmation. My husband did though. I was also only baptized. I didn't have to make either one of them. If I remember correctly, as long as one of the party has made their Communion and Confirmation I think it's fine. We didn't have any problems. Also, we could of had the full mass or just the ceremony, it was our choice. We chose just the ceremony. If you have any questions let me know!
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susans Posted: Mar 17, 2003 12:11 AM+
susans MEMBER SINCE: 12/01 TOTAL POSTS : 1731 WEDDING DATE: Jan 25, 2003
Posted: Mar 17, 2003 12:11 AM bride-minus.png

Re: FH and RC Church - they are not making friends!!

My husband is an atheist but he was baptized Protestant. I'm Catholic. He had to show proof of baptism but that's it.
We got married with a full mass. Both the Protestants and the Catholics were allowed to receive Communion.
I think it depends on the church.
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LizD Posted: Mar 17, 2003 08:19 AM+
LizD MEMBER SINCE: 7/01 TOTAL POSTS : 4384 WEDDING DATE: Dec 15, 2002
Posted: Mar 17, 2003 08:19 AM bride-minus.png

Re: FH and RC Church - they are not making friends!!

Two of my sisters married Jewish men, and they were married in the Catholic church. Both of you do not have to be baptized or have received any other sacraments to be married in the Catholic church, just one of you must have had them all. Some churches may be different, maybe more strict. Both my sisters got married at St. Barnabas in Bellmore if you want to check them out. It's a Roman Catholic church. Good luck!!
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michele31 Posted: Mar 17, 2003 09:02 AM+
michele31 MEMBER SINCE: 6/01 TOTAL POSTS : 10673 WEDDING DATE: Nov 02, 2002 WEDDING LOCATION: Tavern on the Green
Posted: Mar 17, 2003 09:02 AM bride-minus.png

Re: FH and RC Church - they are not making friends!!

Scott never made his confirmation and it was NO problem at all for us. As long as he is baptized he has the right to get married in the RC Church- but he cannot recieve communion during your mass.
I cannot believe the Priest is NOT calling him back. If I were you I would call the Church secretary and speak to her. She will know who to call to arrange for the classes. Usually the Priest is not in charge of religious education.
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Mary Posted: Mar 17, 2003 09:07 AM+
Mary MEMBER SINCE: 2/01 TOTAL POSTS : 1114 WEDDING DATE: Nov 17, 2001
Posted: Mar 17, 2003 09:07 AM bride-minus.png

Re: FH and RC Church - they are not making friends!!

You really need to check with your church because I beileve each parish is different. For me, my church required that my husband be confirmed before we got married.
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chmpgnrose Posted: Mar 20, 2003 03:04 PM+
chmpgnrose MEMBER SINCE: 3/01 TOTAL POSTS : 1558 WEDDING DATE: Aug 24, 2002
Posted: Mar 20, 2003 03:04 PM bride-minus.png

Re: FH and RC Church - they are not making friends!!

I say get another priest with that same church. Communion and Confirmation are both required in the RC faith before marriage. You really need to do this ASAP because time will soon fly and the date you want to be married on the church might not be available for your wedding.

This is a similar situation for us. We were both confirmed and received communion already and both Catholics but DH's church never contacted us to speak to a priest or about getting married or anything. They were sooo slow in returning any of our phone calls with setting a date to meet the priest, checking if the date was available, pre-cana classes, etc.. I was so but 5 months has gone by into our engagement and we still haven't got our church reserved. Saint Brigid's in Westbury was so slow, very disorganized in the administration and paper work. It turns out the date was limited with the time slot. Another couple took that time slot for their wedding mass, so we had no choice to get the remaining on left but it would leave a big window in the time gap between ceremony and cocktail hour. 11:30 ceremony begins and ends 12:30 pm and cocktail hour begins at 6 pm is too too much time gap.

We ended up going somewhere else to a non-denomial chapel with a Pysbertan minister because we did not belong anywhere else as members of another church. Also, RC wedding mass must be inside a RC church not a non-denomial chapel. So, we ended up with a civil ceremony with a Pysbertan minister. Overall it was frustrating but the ceremony wasn't so bad-a success but disappointing that we wanted a RC church, our own RC priest.
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spel Posted: Mar 20, 2003 04:47 PM+
spel MEMBER SINCE: 7/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1187 WEDDING DATE: Oct 25, 2003
Posted: Mar 20, 2003 04:47 PM bride-minus.png

Re: FH and RC Church - they are not making friends!!

definitely contact a different priest at your church. i certainly wouldn't want to depend on someone who does not return my calls. fh is not catholic & we are getting married at my church. i was baptized, confirmed, the whole deal- at my church, all you need is one full-blown catholic for a church wedding. however, it totally depends on your church. they're all different. good luck!
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