Is age just a number in relationships?

How do you guys feel about a big age gap in between couples like 15, 20, even 30 years apart...
Im in a really weird position. My good friend whose (25) has had a few relationship you know with guys in their late 20's, early 30's. One was serious, but eventually theyr ealized because of their religious diff and careers they couldnt be together..etc.

Yesterday she calls me and confides in me that her co worker and her have developed an attraction for each other....but hes 58 ! ! ! and shes 25. Theyre apparently takign things really slow, and Next saturday she wants me to meet them for drinks...
I really dont know what to say or htink. This man IS older than her father. Is age just a number?

He'll be turning 60 in 2 years, and she has her whole life....

P.S- shes not seeking a 'father figure' because i know her family, were also family friends, and her dad is a great guy, who has always been there for her every school play, college grad, her parents have a good marriage too.... so she hasnt been 'neglected' by her father.

Re: Is age just a number in relationships?

DH and I are almost 10 years apart. SIL and her FH are 15 years apart. Doesn't seem odd to us at all.

Re: Is age just a number in relationships?

I guess it really depends on the person. I truly believe some people are 'old souls' and they might be happier with someone older. Almost 60 though? She'll be changing his diapers when she's 45! I personally couldn't do it. DH is 4 years older than me and that's just right for me. Then again, he acts like a 12 year old, so I dunno- maybe she's onto something!

Re: Is age just a number in relationships?

DH and I are 11 years apart and it works for us. To each is own, ya know?

I'd just be a friend and be happy for her that she's happy.

Re: Is age just a number in relationships?

my parents are 10 years apart too, theyre perfect! but the situation im describing they are 33 years apar....

Re: Is age just a number in relationships?

As long as the people in the couple are happy I think it is fine.

Re: Is age just a number in relationships?

This is a tricky one for me. Bottom line: to each their own. As above posters said - if the individuals in the couple are happy than god bless.

However, I have MAJOR reservations and I would share each one if one of my loved ones was involved. Just one of my several concerns is....

1) @25 you are likely working at your first job and just starting your career while @58 you are probably planning for retirement --> right there is a potential issue as far as I'm concerned. Some people have expectations regarding retirement (travel, location to live, etc) and someone just starting a career will likely have an entirely different schedule. Nevermind the logistical issues, but those are two wildly different places to be in terms of life accomplishments.

Re: Is age just a number in relationships?

It depends on the couple and where they are in their lives. I think big age gaps are fine for some people, but not everyone. My sister (22) is dating a guy in his 40s...but my sister has a LOT of things she has to work out before being in a relationship. I can see how it works for others though.

Re: Is age just a number in relationships?

i'm not saying people can't have an age gap, but that's ridiculous! i'm sure it will fizz out when the things they have in common start to run out!

Re: Is age just a number in relationships?

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Posted by Byrne2Be

However, I have MAJOR reservations and I would share each one if one of my loved ones was involved. Just one of my several concerns is....

1) @25 you are likely working at your first job and just starting your career while @58 you are probably planning for retirement --> right there is a potential issue as far as I'm concerned. Some people have expectations regarding retirement (travel, location to live, etc) and someone just starting a career will likely have an entirely different schedule. Nevermind the logistical issues, but those are two wildly different places to be in terms of life accomplishments.

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This would be my main concern as well... 10-15 year age difference? you are still close enough to relate. But the age gap you are describing is quite large and they are at two completely different point in life, trying to achieve different things potentially. I understand being in love with someone and supporting each other, but looking at the bigger picture, I would see a lot of compromise on both of their parts... and that could lead to resentment.

Re: Is age just a number in relationships?

58 and 25??

That is a huge difference. 33 years. What do they really have in common? Like others said she is just starting her life and career while he is starting to plan retirement.
My brother and his wife are 12 years apart. Its a few yeawrs but no that much to make a difference.

Re: Is age just a number in relationships?

On one hand - I do think age is just a number... DH is 13 years older than I....and it's a complete non issue for us.

Though I will say that I think the age difference is 'less' of an issue the older you are when you meet.

If things get very serious - I think they both will have alot of talking to do... for instance being she's so young - she has to take things into consideration like Kids - do they both want them.

I think at 25 - there is alot to consider seeing a 58 year old.

Re: Is age just a number in relationships?

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Posted by luvabul

my parents are 10 years apart too, theyre perfect! but the situation im describing they are 33 years apar....

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I agree, 33 yrs is a bit much IMO...you have to wonder what they have in common and what are their goals. I don't think it COULDN'T happen but it hard for most people to imagine what draws the two together.

I dated a 33 yr old when I was 22...he'd make music/popculture references and I would have no idea what he was talking about