Search Forums

Wedding Forums > Brides Helping Brides ™ > Who pays for the bridal shower?
Who pays for the bridal shower?
julykbride Posted: Aug 13, 2002 09:29 PM+
julykbride MEMBER SINCE: 12/01 TOTAL POSTS : 657 WEDDING DATE: Jul 04, 2003
Posted: Aug 13, 2002 09:29 PM bride-minus.png

Who pays for the bridal shower?

Does the mother of the bride throw the shower or do the bridesmaids?
Reply   |   Quote    |   Subscribe   |   Report
RichsBride Posted: Aug 13, 2002 09:41 PM+
RichsBride MEMBER SINCE: 4/02 TOTAL POSTS : 2289 WEDDING DATE: Oct 20, 2002
Posted: Aug 13, 2002 09:41 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Who pays for the bridal shower?

I'm pretty that 'proper' Etiquette says that the mother(or direct relative) of the bride should NOT pay for or host the shower(because that's like asking for gifts)but I don't think that rule applies anymore & especially not on LI where we have gigantic showers. I think that most Moms, Sisters & bridesmaids split it. I only have a MOH so she & my Mom are doing it, but my other good friends seem to be helping out(they're always chitchating)
I don't know if I really even answered your question or if i just babbled
Reply   |   Quote    |   Subscribe   |   Report
susans Posted: Aug 13, 2002 09:46 PM+
susans MEMBER SINCE: 12/01 TOTAL POSTS : 1731 WEDDING DATE: Jan 25, 2003
Posted: Aug 13, 2002 09:46 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Who pays for the bridal shower?

I've also heard that the bride's immediate family isn't supposed to throw the shower, but in almose every shower that I've attended the mother was part hostess.
That being said, ANYONE can throw you a shower and/or pay for it.
It's not considered part of your bridesmaids duties to host a shower for you, but if they choose to, then they pay for it.
Same goes for anyone who decides to shower you.
Co-workers can throw you a shower...
Really? If people are willing to host and pay, you can have as many showers as they're willing to give!
Reply   |   Quote    |   Subscribe   |   Report
jennbaby Posted: Aug 13, 2002 10:07 PM+
jennbaby MEMBER SINCE: 9/01 TOTAL POSTS : 29573 WEDDING DATE: May 17, 2003
Posted: Aug 13, 2002 10:07 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Who pays for the bridal shower?

my bridesmaids are...and my mom & stepmom
Reply   |   Quote    |   Subscribe   |   Report
Teri Posted: Aug 13, 2002 10:31 PM+
Teri MEMBER SINCE: 3/01 TOTAL POSTS : 5478 WEDDING DATE: Oct 05, 2002
Posted: Aug 13, 2002 10:31 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Who pays for the bridal shower?

I agree with Richsbride - that's the proper etiquette, but in this day and age, especially in NY, that's hard to follow!

I know for my shower, it was hosted at my cousin's house, my MOH, and 2 BMs chipped in $$, as well as my mom and aunt. Other relatives helped out in other ways. It's just so much easier when more people help out financially.
The invites usually still indicate the BP as hosting the shower though.....
Reply   |   Quote    |   Subscribe   |   Report
Marnles Posted: Aug 13, 2002 10:32 PM+
Marnles MEMBER SINCE: 5/01 TOTAL POSTS : 4462 WEDDING DATE: Dec 13, 2002
Posted: Aug 13, 2002 10:32 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Who pays for the bridal shower?

I hate to say it (this is not directed towards anyone AT ALL), but etiquette, shmetiquette - especially when it comes to something like this (lots of money to throw a shower). Etiquette I'm sure doesn't dictate that the bride and groom pay for the wedding themselves, but that's exactly what my FH and I are doing, so all etiquette goes out the window in my book...

But, I have seen showers thrown in different ways by different people. I have been in about 10 bridal parties, where either MOB paid for the whole thing, chipped in with BMs or BMs paid for the entire thing (which will be my situation, cause my mom doesn't have anything to contribute)...

Good luck with it!!
Reply   |   Quote    |   Subscribe   |   Report
christy Posted: Aug 14, 2002 12:23 AM+
christy MEMBER SINCE: 1/02 TOTAL POSTS : 6763 WEDDING DATE: Apr 18, 2003
Posted: Aug 14, 2002 12:23 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Who pays for the bridal shower?

I think it could be the mom or the BM's, I dont have a relationship with my mom...so I guess it is up to my MOH and BM's to decide if I am getting a shower. Man, I feel bad like that might be a big expence. But anyway I have helped pay for each shower when I was part of a bridal party...
Reply   |   Quote    |   Subscribe   |   Report
jpsgirl Posted: Aug 14, 2002 01:05 AM+
jpsgirl MEMBER SINCE: 3/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1888 WEDDING DATE: Oct 12, 2002
Posted: Aug 14, 2002 01:05 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Who pays for the bridal shower?

any bridal party I've been in (and it's been many) other than one, the bridesmaids split the cost and the mom contributed something. Mine, my mother paid for the whole thing (well,actually my father since my mother doesn't work) and the BM's did all the favors/flowers/ set up and stuff - my mom wanted it that way bc she'd rather just pay money and not have to get actually involved.
Reply   |   Quote    |   Subscribe   |   Report
kelswiss Posted: Aug 14, 2002 06:55 AM+
kelswiss MEMBER SINCE: 2/02 TOTAL POSTS : 2304 WEDDING DATE: Sep 27, 2002
Posted: Aug 14, 2002 06:55 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Who pays for the bridal shower?

I know with my shower my mom, sister and his mom split the bill.
Reply   |   Quote    |   Subscribe   |   Report
Jeanene Posted: Aug 14, 2002 08:42 AM+
Jeanene MEMBER SINCE: 8/01 TOTAL POSTS : 1545 WEDDING DATE: Dec 13, 2002
Posted: Aug 14, 2002 08:42 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Who pays for the bridal shower?

LOL - this is a big topic for me right now.

In my experience as a BM, I have always contributed to the cost of the shower (if there was a shower - for a few of my friends who live out west they did not have showers).

However, in my FH's family, the tradition is that the MOB pays for the shower. So when my MOH asked one of my BM's (who is the sister of my FH) if she could assist in paying for the shower it caused a brouhaha. She has told my FH that she thinks it is asking a lot and that she can not afford it, and that she believe the MOB should pay. Fine, I can understand if she could not afford it - enough said. But she now has my whole FH's family talking about how my Mom should be paying for this whole thing. I am a bit upset with her for causing trouble. She should have just said she could not afford it and left it at that. I know I should not know all this about my shower. But my FH's has been hearing it from his family, and he finally just asked me why my Mom wasn't paying for it. URRRR!

Sorry to vent - just a touchy subject with me right now!


Reply   |   Quote    |   Subscribe   |   Report
JennK Posted: Aug 14, 2002 10:56 AM+
JennK MEMBER SINCE: 3/02 TOTAL POSTS : 305 WEDDING DATE: Sep 06, 2002
Posted: Aug 14, 2002 10:56 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Who pays for the bridal shower?

Yes, the way that 'etiquette' states is the bridal party pays for it. However everyone else is right, it is kind of a case by case basis these days.

My Mom couldnt afford to throw it for me, but she contributed an equal share along with my bm's.
I also had a big war with this too...my MOH felt it was my Mom's responsibility to plan and pay for the shower. It was a nightmare, but that is all over now!!
Reply   |   Quote    |   Subscribe   |   Report
VickiC Posted: Aug 14, 2002 11:15 AM+
VickiC MEMBER SINCE: 1/02 TOTAL POSTS : 2395 WEDDING DATE: Aug 18, 2002
Posted: Aug 14, 2002 11:15 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Who pays for the bridal shower?

My mom paid for my entire shower. She didn't ask for help from the BM's at all, except to go pick up the cake.

In the BP that I am in, we are paying for the shower. So I think it goes both ways. And either way I wouldn't be offended.
Reply   |   Quote    |   Subscribe   |   Report
Karen62794 Posted: Aug 14, 2002 11:17 AM+
Karen62794 MEMBER SINCE: 2/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1731 WEDDING DATE: Jul 04, 2003
Posted: Aug 14, 2002 11:17 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Who pays for the bridal shower?

My mom and probably FH's mom will help out the bridesmaids in paying for the shower.
Reply   |   Quote    |   Subscribe   |   Report
michele31 Posted: Aug 14, 2002 11:24 AM+
michele31 MEMBER SINCE: 6/01 TOTAL POSTS : 10673 WEDDING DATE: Nov 02, 2002 WEDDING LOCATION: Tavern on the Green
Posted: Aug 14, 2002 11:24 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Who pays for the bridal shower?

It is true that in proper etiquette no mother or sister can throw the bridal shower. But I know for a fact that my Mom and Stepmom are throwing mine and paying for it. The girls have only been asked to do stuff like make the wishing well. They felt it was unfair to ask the girls to pay for a shower since I have a rather large extended family, plus it is very expensive.
Reply   |   Quote    |   Subscribe   |   Report
No Posts Found With Your Match.
  • Chat With Local Long Island Brides
  • Larkfield
  • Lessings Waterfront Mansions
  • Coindre Hall-Coindre Hall
  • Dr. Gary Kasten-Dr. Gary Kasten
  • Catering - Off Premises-
 
Welcome New Vendors
X
X
X
X
Email to Friend
X
Submit a Report