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lullabella
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 10/03 1112 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/20/2004 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
Posted by Blu-ize
If you can't afford an apartment, even a 1 bedroom somewhere safe, how can you be planning a wedding. Where are your priorities? You have a child, think of that first. When you have a child, the child comes first. Put a roof over his head first, then plan your reception. Go to the justice of the peace and get married. Have the reception later. I wish you luck. 
I totally agree. Work on getting some permanent housing first. I am actually a little shocked that you are even considering having a wedding when you are living in a shelter??? Sorry I am not trying to be mean but just realistic. I wish you lost of luck.
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Posted 5/10/05 5:42 PM 
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Kris77
Board Fanatic
Member since 12/04 474 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/28/2005 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
Posted by lullabella
Posted by Blu-ize
If you can't afford an apartment, even a 1 bedroom somewhere safe, how can you be planning a wedding. Where are your priorities? You have a child, think of that first. When you have a child, the child comes first. Put a roof over his head first, then plan your reception. Go to the justice of the peace and get married. Have the reception later. I wish you luck.
I totally agree. Work on getting some permanent housing first. I am actually a little shocked that you are even considering having a wedding when you are living in a shelter??? Sorry I am not trying to be mean but just realistic. I wish you lost of luck.
I am sorry, but, I have to agree with the girls who have asked where your priorities are. I almost feel like this is a joke, because no person in their right mind would even CONSIDER a wedding before getting themselves an apartment so their child could sleep in his own bed at night.
I am not trying to be mean either, but, you CAN afford to get an apartment, but youre debating having a wedding?
Sorry, I cant feel bad for you.
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Posted 5/10/05 5:53 PM
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lilacwine
In-between days
Member since 9/04 1471 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/14/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
booked
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
Posted by Kris77
Posted by lullabella
Posted by Blu-ize
If you can't afford an apartment, even a 1 bedroom somewhere safe, how can you be planning a wedding. Where are your priorities? You have a child, think of that first. When you have a child, the child comes first. Put a roof over his head first, then plan your reception. Go to the justice of the peace and get married. Have the reception later. I wish you luck.
I totally agree. Work on getting some permanent housing first. I am actually a little shocked that you are even considering having a wedding when you are living in a shelter??? Sorry I am not trying to be mean but just realistic. I wish you lost of luck.
I am sorry, but, I have to agree with the girls who have asked where your priorities are. I almost feel like this is a joke, because no person in their right mind would even CONSIDER a wedding before getting themselves an apartment so their child could sleep in his own bed at night.
I am not trying to be mean either, but, you CAN afford to get an apartment, but youre debating having a wedding?
Sorry, I cant feel bad for you.
Agreed. I'm shocked that you and your family are able to live in a shelter when you have $10,000. It doesn't add up.
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Posted 5/10/05 5:56 PM
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amyandbill
Board Fanatic
Member since 2/05 421 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/25/2005 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
tbd
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
If I was you I would take that 10,000 and move out of the shelter. You can definately find a reasonable apartment. If your fh has money squirreled away...you should know about it!
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Posted 5/10/05 6:05 PM
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serendipity0680
I'm a Mrs!!!
Member since 11/04 1943 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/8/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
The Harbor Club - Huntington
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
I would think about possibly renewing your vows and having a big wedding reception when you can afford it. Try & cheer up 
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Posted 5/10/05 6:13 PM
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nov04LIbride
Asshatery: Nature or nurture?
Member since 3/04 8140 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/6/2004 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Hard-boiled eggs also have hearts of gold.
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
Posted by Kris77
Posted by lullabella
Posted by Blu-ize
If you can't afford an apartment, even a 1 bedroom somewhere safe, how can you be planning a wedding. Where are your priorities? You have a child, think of that first. When you have a child, the child comes first. Put a roof over his head first, then plan your reception. Go to the justice of the peace and get married. Have the reception later. I wish you luck.
I totally agree. Work on getting some permanent housing first. I am actually a little shocked that you are even considering having a wedding when you are living in a shelter??? Sorry I am not trying to be mean but just realistic. I wish you lost of luck.
I am sorry, but, I have to agree with the girls who have asked where your priorities are. I almost feel like this is a joke, because no person in their right mind would even CONSIDER a wedding before getting themselves an apartment so their child could sleep in his own bed at night.
I am not trying to be mean either, but, you CAN afford to get an apartment, but youre debating having a wedding?
Sorry, I cant feel bad for you.
I agree. My mother for years worked for welfare to work programs and I know they don't let you use shelters and welfare as a crutch to save for a wedding and go to grad school. Because let me tell you, there would be a lot more of us in the shelters! That said, FH hasn't worked in 4 mos?! Work in a supermarket, work in McD's, but do something. Good luck, but if this is a real situation I think you have much bigger issues than getting to feel like a princess for a day.
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Posted 5/10/05 6:28 PM
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BriBri529
Thank You . . . .
Member since 8/02 7121 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/10/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Villa Lombardi's
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
Posted by OSCARtheGROOM
Don't feel ashamed about living in a shelter. I applaud you. It takes a lot of guts to admit to something like that. I'm sure everything will work out for the best.
I agree
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Posted 5/10/05 7:13 PM
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cjik
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 2/05 1082 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/16/2005 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
Thank you for posting. You have opened my eyes and made me remember a lot of people on this board are dealing with other life issues more important than the way we wear our hair or the photographer we choose.
What would I do in your place? I would get married and look for an apartment using the money needed for a wedding. When things pick up for you guys (and I'm sure they will), you can renew your vows and have the wedding reception you always wanted. But that's what I would do, you and your FH need to decide what to do.
I understand how easy it can be to become homeless, even with an education. I nearly was myself a number of years ago, but I had family I could fall back on and lived with them temporarily. If it hadn't been for them, I would have been in a shelter too.
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Posted 5/10/05 7:20 PM
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Bella Blu
Future Niece or Nephew
Member since 4/05 1546 total posts
Wedding Date:
1/1/2012 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
Posted by cjik
Thank you for posting. You have opened my eyes and made me remember a lot of people on this board are dealing with other life issues more important than the way we wear our hair or the photographer we choose.
What would I do in your place? I would get married and look for an apartment using the money needed for a wedding. When things pick up for you guys (and I'm sure they will), you can renew your vows and have the wedding reception you always wanted. But that's what I would do, you and your FH need to decide what to do.
I totally agree...hang in there
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Posted 5/10/05 7:24 PM
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Mystere
I'm married!!!
Member since 3/05 1917 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/11/2006 10:30 AM
Wed. Location:
The Sand Castle
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
I think everything has been said but I just wanted to invite you to the 06 GTG May 21st!! Theres no reason you can't attend and I'd love for you to come!!
Let us know what you decide - you will be in my prayers!
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Posted 5/10/05 7:34 PM
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MissusJones
I's Married Now!!!
Member since 10/04 1062 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/14/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Stewar Manor Country Club
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
JMO - but I feel that having security should come above all things. I think it's great that you're working and getting your master's but part of me also feels like you're living off tax dollars just to buy your wedding. That to me is not fair to truly homeless people who have nothing. You have a man that loves you, and $$ for a down payment, if the love is real it can wait, but living off the system to have your dream wedding? I'm sorry but I think you need to focus on the reality of your situation...
again, JMHO 
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Posted 5/10/05 8:14 PM
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cocoa
I love my mer-man!!!
Member since 1/04 5870 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/8/2004 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
thatched cottage
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
first of all, i applaud you for sharing this with everyone. however, and this is just my opinion, as much as we all want the wedding of our dreams, it is just a day. your marriage is forever and personally, i would rather start my marriage in a home, not a shelter. but you need to do what is right for you. however, being married for 9 months now, i do miss our money...we didn't break even, so to speak, but we did okay. however, we'd be in a better financial situation if we just bought a house instead. again, though, these are just my thoughts. but it seems like you have the determination and brains to make the best life for you and your family and i wish you a lot of luck!!!
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Posted 5/10/05 8:15 PM
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arosa
Board Enthusiast
Member since 4/04 171 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/2/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
See this is what I did not want to happen. It's not a joke. And for this to be thought of as a joke hurts my feeling. Let me tell you, my reception will probably cost about $5000. That does not even pay for 5 months of rent in Brooklyn. We looked for apartments- 1 bedrooms. We went to see them and we were not "chosen" for them.
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Posted 5/10/05 8:23 PM
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Mrs. dleeny
My most beautiful day ever
Member since 3/05 12394 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/6/2005 5:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Swan Club A+
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
Posted by arosa
See this is what I did not want to happen. It's not a joke. And for this to be thought of as a joke hurts my feeling. Let me tell you, my reception will probably cost about $5000. That does not even pay for 5 months of rent in Brooklyn. We looked for apartments- 1 bedrooms. We went to see them and we were not "chosen" for them.
What about renting someone's top floor or basement of a house? does it have to be in Brooklyn? have you considered Queens?
I'm sure that you can find a place for well under $1000 a month in Queens (depending on the area of course).
IMO, your priority should be to have a home for you, your son and FH, not a wedding.
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Posted 5/10/05 8:30 PM
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brooklynbridezilla
Ever After
Member since 4/04 6651 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/5/2005 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
Arosa, I would suggest posting what kind of work you are qualified for. There are posters or lurkers who might know about job openings. Since you are able to get online, I would post your resume all over the place. If your time is limited, I would be happy to help you get it listed online- like monster.com and email it to temp agencies and such.
Imo, your first priority should be finding an apartment. A wedding is a luxury.
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Posted 5/10/05 8:49 PM
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brooklynbridezilla
Ever After
Member since 4/04 6651 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/5/2005 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
There are 1 bedroom apartments in Washington Heights for less than 1k.
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Posted 5/10/05 8:51 PM
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brooklynbridezilla
Ever After
Member since 4/04 6651 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/5/2005 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
You may also want to post on the Career Board of LIF: Career Board
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Posted 5/10/05 9:06 PM
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SomethingBlu
Enjoying the journey...
Member since 10/04 10523 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/27/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace - A+
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
Posted by brooklynbridezilla
Arosa, I would suggest posting what kind of work you are qualified for. There are posters or lurkers who might know about job openings. Since you are able to get online, I would post your resume all over the place. If your time is limited, I would be happy to help you get it listed online- like monster.com and email it to temp agencies and such.
Imo, your first priority should be finding an apartment. A wedding is a luxury.
That is such a sweet gesture...and I agree on all points! A wedding is a luxury.
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Posted 5/10/05 9:08 PM
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Kris77
Board Fanatic
Member since 12/04 474 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/28/2005 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
Posted by arosa
See this is what I did not want to happen. It's not a joke. And for this to be thought of as a joke hurts my feeling. Let me tell you, my reception will probably cost about $5000. That does not even pay for 5 months of rent in Brooklyn. We looked for apartments- 1 bedrooms. We went to see them and we were not "cho
sen" for them.
So youre willing to spend half of your life savings, on a wedding, and continue to live in a homeless shelter?
I swear, I dont believe any of this. And I was just reading through your other posts (Yes I did a search), and you have already bought wedding items, etc. You're having the wedding, so why are you even asking our opinion?
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Posted 5/10/05 9:13 PM
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dita531
Still a Newlywed?
Member since 2/04 2362 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/11/2005 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Riviera- A++
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
I have to say this post has really offended me. Where are your priorities? YOU HAVE A CHILD AND YOU LIVE IN A HOMELESS SHELTER. Take your 10k and get an appartment. Go to the justice of the peace and get married. Also keep in mind that they have housing lotteries so you can buy a house for 100k. Unfortuantely, my FH and I make too much for those lotteries but we don't make enough to actually buy a decent house out here. The last one we looked into says your combined salary has to be less than 40k.
So tomorrow I will work hard to make my money and pay my taxes so you can get your masters while living in a shelter. That's just great. 
Message edited 5/10/2005 9:36:43 PM.
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Posted 5/10/05 9:35 PM
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brooklynbridezilla
Ever After
Member since 4/04 6651 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/5/2005 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
Posted by Kris77
Posted by arosa
See this is what I did not want to happen. It's not a joke. And for this to be thought of as a joke hurts my feeling. Let me tell you, my reception will probably cost about $5000. That does not even pay for 5 months of rent in Brooklyn. We looked for apartments- 1 bedrooms. We went to see them and we were not "cho
sen" for them.
So youre willing to spend half of your life savings, on a wedding, and continue to live in a homeless shelter?
I swear, I dont believe any of this. And I was just reading through your other posts (Yes I did a search), and you have already bought wedding items, etc. You're having the wedding, so why are you even asking our opinion?
I am curious, where in the shelter do you store your wedding items?
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Posted 5/10/05 9:41 PM
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MissusJones
I's Married Now!!!
Member since 10/04 1062 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/14/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Stewar Manor Country Club
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
Posted by brooklynbridezilla
I am curious, where in the shelter do you store your wedding items?
Good question! And as a mother, who had to take out a second mortgage on my home to make sure my daughter had what she needed, what kind of message are you sending your son? What are you teaching him by remaining in a shelter to afford a wedding? I've been looking into apartments for my girlfriend in queens and long island. apartments are as low as $600 a month and asking only 2 months security. That is only $1800 leaving you with $8200. I could not live with myself if I chose a wedding over my daughter's well-being. How can you?
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Posted 5/10/05 11:16 PM
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FeeBee24
Board Fanatic
Member since 1/04 276 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/10/2011 1:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
Wow! Absolutely shocking! I've always dreamed of a big wedding but if I were in your situation I would be much more concerned about finding a SAFE place to call home. I'm shocked that you are more concerned about a party that will last for 4 hours. I agree with the other comment. Get married at the justice of the peace. 
Message edited 5/10/2005 11:45:48 PM.
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Posted 5/10/05 11:39 PM
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AlliNMatt06
I'm Married!!!!!!!
Member since 8/04 2943 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/25/2006 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Hamlet Wind Watch A+++++++++
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
I live at home with my parents and work full time and still have a hard time saving money.
If you have such a bad paying job, a child and live in a homeless shelter, how did you save $10,000. Plus you think your FH has saved even more. You must not be doing to bad.
Maybe you should consider moving out of New York once you get your masters. It would be easier to by a house and have a wedding. The city is one of the most expensive places to live. Where are your priorities?
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Posted 5/10/05 11:54 PM
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Goldi1021
Growing a miracle in my belly!
Member since 1/05 12771 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/18/2006 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Temple Avodah
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Re: Personal-Housing situation
I don't know. I am 34 years old with two degrees on my wall, a home, health insurance etc and I don't have 10 grand in the bank. If I can dig myself out of thousands of $$$ worth of debt, then anyone can. USe the money wisely and make a good choice. In your heart you know the right thing to do.
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Posted 5/11/05 12:28 AM
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