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AnonB2B
Wedding Newbie
Member since 2/06 2 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/31/2006
Wed. Location:
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Awkward Situation
How do you ask your MOH to step down?
Things have changed dramatically in the friendship and it's pretty much over.
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Posted 2/23/06 11:41 AM 
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jada2destiny
We're having a HM baby!!!
Member since 3/04 1759 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/15/2006 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Chateau Briand
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Re: Awkward Situation
Be honest with her. I'm sure that she may feel the same way if the relationship has taken such a dramatic turn and maybe she doesn't want to hurt you or stress you by saying something first.
Good Luck
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Posted 2/23/06 11:45 AM
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siobhanB
Board Fanatic
Member since 10/05 534 total posts
Wedding Date:
3/30/2007 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
BOOKED!
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Re: Awkward Situation
If the situation is that dramtic, I would think she'd be aware of it, so I would just tell her taht due to the change in your sitatuion, you would prefer it if she step down as MOH (or prefer that she not be in the party all together.) it sounds like you don't plan on being friends with her anymore, so once you get the conversation over, atleast you won't have to deal with it anymore, ya know?
I hope that everything works out. 
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Posted 2/23/06 11:45 AM
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ETAB
I am a MRS!!!
Member since 11/05 1703 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/23/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Awkward Situation
Well- before I would ask her to step down, I would want to find out what is at the root of the problem. Obviously if you asked her to be your MOh their is a great deal of respect, love and friendship. I would want to see what was up with the friendship first then deal with the MOH situation.
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Posted 2/23/06 11:46 AM
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sr081906
My little man is here!
Member since 2/06 7090 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/19/2006 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Awkward Situation
Yes you can.
My MOH(best friend) got married last year and had a situation with a "friend". He was telling her that he was going to do an "embassing" speech (he was on even in the BP), etc. He wanted to do the bachelorette party (yes, he is a HE!) She was really torn but ended up breaking the friendship before the wedding. Too much liability!
Go with your guts. Especially if you have the feeling that it's only going to get worse. Maybe it's just the whole wedding stuff. You need to get to the root of it.
If not, find someone else. Don't feel obligated for the wedding. That's too much stress with already all there is to do.
Best of luck!
Message edited 2/23/2006 11:49:33 AM.
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Posted 2/23/06 11:46 AM
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AnonB2B
Wedding Newbie
Member since 2/06 2 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/31/2006
Wed. Location:
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Re: Awkward Situation
Thanks everyone
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Posted 2/23/06 11:58 AM
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cutiepie
Wedding Newbie
Member since 4/05 11 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/19/2005
Wed. Location:
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Re: Awkward Situation
Well if she's family, I wouldn't do it.. If it's just a friend who you no longer really speak with , then I agree that I think she'll be expecting it.
Good luck.
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Posted 2/23/06 12:14 PM
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ali120206
Over a year!
Member since 10/05 4386 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/2/2006 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Hyatt Windwatch
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Re: Awkward Situation
If the friendship is pretty much over, you have every right to ask her to step down. If she realizes the friendship is pretty muhc over already, she should see it coming.
Good luck, regardless it's not an easy thing to do.
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Posted 2/23/06 12:27 PM
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werock0709
More in love than ever!!!
Member since 12/05 8533 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/6/2007 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
SandCastle
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Re: Awkward Situation
She probably knows by now, due to the way the friendship is going. She won't be surprised when you ask her, or tell her you have other plans. Don't stress over it, it's for the better.
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Posted 2/23/06 12:41 PM
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R&J0806
I have the greatest husband!
Member since 9/05 1620 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/6/2006 11:15 AM
Wed. Location:
Fox Hollow
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Re: Awkward Situation
A friend of mine once told me that weddings bring out the worst in people, and I absolutely believe that now. Do you think the planning of events have led to this problem and if so, maybe you can just talk rationally to her.
I lost a friend over a wedding so my advice is to be as rational as possible -- think long and hard before you decide to call your friendship off. But go with your heart.
If I could go back in time, I never would have let my friend out of my life...especially not over a wedding. But I know every situation is different.
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Posted 2/23/06 1:09 PM
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StreetDoc6531
Bad Girl Bridesmaid
Member since 2/06 1479 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/2/2006 5:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Not worth it!!!
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Re: Awkward Situation
Posted by ETAB
Well- before I would ask her to step down, I would want to find out what is at the root of the problem. Obviously if you asked her to be your MOh their is a great deal of respect, love and friendship. I would want to see what was up with the friendship first then deal with the MOH situation.
I agree!!! Great idea!!
Good luck swetie!!
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Posted 2/23/06 1:22 PM
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kara10152006
RSVP's 49 YES 3 NO
Member since 11/05 1447 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/15/2006 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
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Re: Awkward Situation
Posted by cutiepie
Well if she's family, I wouldn't do it.. If it's just a friend who you no longer really speak with , then I agree that I think she'll be expecting it.
Good luck.
I agree, if she's in anyway related to you, you've got to work with her. However if she's a friend, make her aware of how you're feeling (she's probably expecting it if something major occurred) and let her know you're just not comfortable with her in the bridal party. It will be very hard - BE STRONG! Good Luck! 
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Posted 2/23/06 1:47 PM
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SweetCin704
I love my brother
Member since 7/03 14281 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/15/2006 1:00 PM
Wed. Location:
CLM (A++++)
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Re: Awkward Situation
I think you should be upfront w/ her. In my first wedding my cousin was my MOH, I didn't find out until later that she was against the marriage from the day we got engaged & made comments to the rest of my wedding party (including his sister) and to be honest I wish she was just upfront w/ me from the beginning about it. You want someone next to you that stands by you & that you are proud to have there & who does mean a lot to you both.
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Posted 2/23/06 9:06 PM
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bride2b24
~Married and loving it!~
Member since 12/05 4400 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/28/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Leonards of Great Neck
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Re: Awkward Situation
Posted by jada2destiny
Be honest with her. I'm sure that she may feel the same way if the relationship has taken such a dramatic turn and maybe she doesn't want to hurt you or stress you by saying something first.
Good Luck
i agree!
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Posted 2/23/06 9:46 PM
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MJDoc12
2 years down--lifetime to go
Member since 10/05 12064 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/25/2007 11:15 AM
Wed. Location:
Watermill Caterers.. A++++
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Re: Awkward Situation
i think the other ladies covered the "how to" part--just wanted to say good luck...i'm sure it's a conversation that you are dreading!
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Posted 2/23/06 10:33 PM
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Emma2-22
Board Fanatic
Member since 4/03 765 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/22/2004 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Chateau Briand
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Re: Awkward Situation
I had that problem and in all honesty since I knew the friendship was over I just called her up and broke up with her.
I said " Don't take this the wrong way but, this maid of honor thing isn't working out." And then I never spoke to her again.
Good Riddance
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Posted 2/23/06 11:28 PM
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