Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

JMS: My husbands mother says the same thing. But for me, I was glad my photographer didnt take photos of people sitting around. I tell my mother in law that if people didnt do anything (like dance or smile at least) to be worthy of a photo, they were excluded :P

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

THis is probably the best and most informative thread I've read on this website! Thanks ladies, and keep them coming!!!

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

My MIL made those comments because she kept comparing our wedding to all the other affairs she had thrown- mainly her 3 sons' bar mitzvahs which were over 20 years ago! 20 years ago, they did take table pictures of people sitting around. Now they don't unless you request it.

If anyone else goes through this, tell your parents or IL's to ASK the photographer ON THAT DAY if they want other pictures. My stepmom did just that and she got special pics of her with my stepsisters and of her and my Dad. My mom also asked for two special table shots and she got them.

IMO, the two table shots we did get were awful. People were not looking at the camera. Some were making funny faces. We didn't put them in our album. That's just my bias. I like candid shots much better.

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

Jms: My MIL compares our photos to photos she has seen of really ultra traditional photos. She actually likes the photos of us...but she'll say "why is this black and white? i bet they could have done it in color!" or "why did they cut your heads off this shot of you two holding hands? If they stepped back, they could have gotten your whole bodies". She just doesnt understand that not every shot should be a full lenghth posed potrait!

Im with you..candids are where its at. I actually have some really good table shots but they are pretty much garbage to me along with the rest of the stiff poses.

Which brings me back to one of the original suggestions on the thread - make the wedding for you and your husband, not anyone else. If they dont like, they can get married themselves

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

Thanks for all of you honest opinions girls. This has been very helpful.

I agree - keep em' comin'!

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

Ok the best thing was my florist..Masters he went above and beyond with my flowers....

The Worst was my makeup.. i HATED IT!!!! It was a woman who was friends with the moms best friend( who does not have a daughter) and it was just too much of the wrong colors....oh and I would have had someone else do my BM hair becuae she could not decided how she wanted her hair . I was an hour behind....

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

There are only a couple of things I wished we did differently...

Having a quick receiving line after the ceremony. It would have given us a chance to say hello to everyone. I know that we missed people on DH's side b/c there were a lot of them and they weren't at the tables when we went around to say hi. Then we could have skipped parts of that. That was where we got into inane conversations about traffic with dozens of people - one at a time.

Pictures -

I wished we assigned someone from each side of the family to gather and contain extended families for group shots. We wasted a lot of time trying to get some of these shots.

I wish there were more pics of DH by himself and with his family.

I wish the photographer was more aggressive about not letting other people take pictures behind and next to him. A lot of group pictures have people looking somewhere else.

These are all fairly minor as our day was just wonderful.

One of my favorite things was that my sister had a BBQ the night before the wedding and my mother had a day after brunch. I just LOVED spending more personal time with our friends and family that attended these events. The guests that attended these parties are the people that we are much closer to and it was wonderful to spend extra time with them.

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

The biggest mistake I made was our choice of photographers, our pictures were ok, but missing a lot of standard shots, and our photographer was just a TRULY annoying person. I got a bad vibe after I booked with them, but didnt follow my instincts and for what we paid them we should have gotten double what we did. Unfortunatly I booked them before I found this site and didnt do enough research. In the end, the pictures and video are so important, since that is what you have to remember the day!

The best thing was making the effort to do the little things that DID get noticed, also taking dance lesons and making the time to truly enjoy the day with my DH. There were seveal minor things that went wrong, but you have to not let these small things affect your outlook of the day!

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

I think a HUGE theme here is DO NOT chose a photographer based on just price or because your friend liked him/her. Do research, meet the photographer, look at proofs that are in the office. Albums are the "best" of their work, proofs are all the good/bad and inbetween.
And if you get a "no so good" gut feeling about a vendor during your planning SWITCH! I switch 2 vendors (limo and band) during our 1.5 year engagment and am glad I did.

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

My biggest mistake was having the ceremony at the church where I grew up - what a total nightmare!!!!

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

Not eating, staying in ahotel for the wedding night ( a waste, we fell asleep and were starving-room service was already closed ) and also allowing my dj to convince me to let a "highly requested song by my guests" to be the last song of the evening. Other than that, None!

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

Scoop who was the Video guy???

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

bump-love this thread...I'm taking notes

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

BUMPing for the 05er/06ers/and the 04ers who remian -- GREAT thread!

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

i would have to say biggest mistake was not giving my dj a smaller list with the actual must plays on ot. i gave him this huge list and i think it overwhelmed him and he didnt play most of what was on it. i would also have requested even if i had to pay extra a sample of what my bouquet and the bms bouquets would look like. regardless of how much someone claims to know what you want no one really does except you.

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

Biggest mistake - not looking into photographers more carefully. I'm happy with my pictures, but I'm not thrilled. They're not exactly what I wanted, and the pictures were the most important thing to me. As an out of state bride, I didn't have the time to go from photographer to photographer, but I should've selected more than 3 to go see since this was very important to me.

There were other things that I wish had come out better, like my programs and menus. I did them myself, and they were nice, but I look at other brides work and I'm so jealous! I don't have the software to do those things, and even if I did, I just didn't have the time. Oh well.......

Best thing - my invitations. Even though I spent WAY more than I wanted to, I absolutely loved my invitations. They were letterpress, and custom-made. Gorgeous!

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

Biggest regret: accepting that my shoes were comfortable after only wearing them for 10 minutes. I wish I had bought gel inserts for the shoes. They fit, but like most fancy shoes, had little cushioning. My feet were burning in them by the end of the night

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

my biggest mistake was that i did not do a hair trial prior to the day of the wedding. i figured it would be fine. i loved my hairstyle and she did a great job, but looking back i wished i had worn my veil on top of my head vs. pinned to the back.

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

Biggest Mistake: Not eating the morning of my wedding, not sure if I was sick that morning, or if it was nerves, all I know is, that I didn't eat till almost 9pm that night, and then started dancing, and I was probably dehydrated and I got sick and missed 45 min of my reception throwing up in a garbage can of the bridal suite.

Best part of the night: Dancing the last dance with my new husband, everyone surrounded us on the dance floor and let us have our last dance alone, to The Way You Look Tonight by Tony Bennet.....I still get choked up thinking about it.....

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

Mistake #1-- not taking time to search for a wedding dress. I was one of those suckers for "well its a sample sale and its only available today for 10% off".... I didn't have the fun on trying on many different styles and designers. (But, I loved my dress in the end anyway) I just think brides-to-be should have fun with the whole process.

Mistake #2 -- no video. Truly regret this decision. If not to hear the ceremony music again, it just would be such a nice keepsake.

Oh well!

Best decision -- having our reception where my parents had theirs. They were touched by it, and a lot of our guests were their guests and enjoyed reminiscing.

If I knew then...

Wow! I've been married a little over a yera and I still checkin on the message boards from time to time.
I know everyone wants everything to be just perfect for their wedding day, but I when I look back, I have learned some valueable lessons to pass on to all of you brides to be.

1- Don't skimp out on paying for a good videographer or photographer and do your homewwork on these vendors. I loved both of my vendors, but I found met another photographer (after the fact)that I would have been happy to have spent the extra cash on. I think she's listed on the Knot (Karen Cunningham).

2- Make sure your dress is comfortable and your bustle is well attached. I loved my dress, but my bustle broke in the middle of cocktail hour and I had to hold my gown the entire time.

3- You can skimp on invitations, flowers, and escort cards. These little extras do help set the tone of your day, but you don't need to go crazy with it. It all winds upo in the trash anyway. Sometimes, (especially in this case) simplicity speaks volumes.

4- Get a good make-up artist. Even though I really liked my make-up artist, I wish I had used the one my hairdresser suggested.

5- When you go for your hair trial, try to schedule an appointment to try on your gown, so you can see the whole picture.

6- Send out your thank yous ASAP. It took us forever and it was really embarassing :(

7- Register at more than one place. I know it's a pain, but a very good idea. I wish I had known Gracious Home had a rigistry, I would have registered there.

Lastly, breathe, smile, and try to enjoy your day. It goes so fast. YOu want to savor every moment.

Good luck and best wishes to you all.

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

Thank you all so much for your insights. Since someone mentioned I thought I would ask here. Did anyone have Kameleon Orchestras for their wedding? I haven't heard anything bad about them, nothing but good, yet the band leader makes me a little nervous. He can be overbearing.

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

I would like to add

Worst thing- Picking a photography studio that has 7 photographers and not knowing what work shown was exactly from the person they would send me! BIG MISTAKE! Looking back I would only hire a photographer that you see thier own work

Best thing- listened to a recent past bride and stopped in a place in Sayville called Francines Cosmetic to find my head piece. I had searched and searched and couldnt find the perfect head piece. Then I met a recent bride that told me to go there. I live in western nassau north shore, this place is in eastern suffolk south shore, but WELL worth it. her pieces go particularly well with Maggie Sottero dresses since she buys alot of austrian crystal pieces, different from bridal shops and I only paid 118 for my tiara. I thought I was crazy for driving out there on this recommendation.

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

Best thing I did was follow my cousins advice. She told me that as I came to the top of the aisle I should stop for a moment and smile and look around the church, at my husband to be standing in front, the guests and just take in the scene and set it in my memory. Everything that day goes so fast and you're likely to be nervous or emotional. I'm so glad I did what she said because I have a very clear memory of that moment.

Re: Poll: Biggest Mistake???

honestly...so far I have been completely happy with things!!!

I guess the "imperfect" things have been:

Table Cameras: I would have made a little sign to show HOW TO USE THEM and that they are TO BE LEFT BEHIND. We are still missing 3 of them. who steals wedding pictures!!!
Also...I had them developed onto disk at Target...Kodak even..and there are LINES accross all of the picture files, yet the prints are ok. I'm going to bring them back to have them re-done..they cost WAY too much to have them screwed up!

I'd say...just be REALLY explisit with everything..what you want, when you want it...and GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING!!!

They don't say that everywhere for nothing!