Question on Etiquette

I need some opinions. My fiance and I do not want to have children at our wedding reception. However, I wanted to include my godson in some way (he's 3) and I've thought about asking him to be a ring-bearer. Can you ask a child to be a ring bearer but tell the parent he is not invited to the reception? Thanks.

The bridal salon will let you know when to come in for your first fitting. I was told by my salon that I should expect to hear from them at the beginning of April (my wedding is 1st weekend in June). But, I got a card last week telling me to come in this Saturday. I called to confirm the appointment & they said that because they have so many June brides, they're starting early. My advice is call your bridal salon & ask.

Don't worry about losing extra weight, you usually go for at least 3 fittings. They can always take the dress in a little more.

Question on Etiquette

Personally I don't mind the children at the reception. However the only children I am having are my nieces and nephews. I can't picture the day as important as my wedding and not have them there. They range from ages 9 down to less than a year old. 5 out of the 7 are in my bridal party. My finace and his family don't agree with me. They also don't think they should be at the rehearsal dinner or the reception. However it wasn't something I was willing to compromise on. But I do think if I felt as you and my future inlaws and didn't want the kids there, the parents of the kids would understand if I asked them not to bring them to the reception.

The bridal salon will let you know when to come in for your first fitting. I was told by my salon that I should expect to hear from them at the beginning of April (my wedding is 1st weekend in June). But, I got a card last week telling me to come in this Saturday. I called to confirm the appointment & they said that because they have so many June brides, they're starting early. My advice is call your bridal salon & ask.

Don't worry about losing extra weight, you usually go for at least 3 fittings. They can always take the dress in a little more.

Question on Etiquette

I think you need to be consistant - either children are completely included or not at all.

Besides, it would be inconvenient for the parents to take their son to the church and then have to drive him home to a sitter and then return to the reception.....its a lot of running around to do.

Don't worry about losing extra weight, you usually go for at least 3 fittings. They can always take the dress in a little more.

Question on Etiquette

I don't think that is an unreasonable request. My husband and I have 10 nephews between us ranging from 10 mos.- 10 years old. Even though we are very close to all of the kids, we did not have them at the reception. Our reasoning was that we wanted their parents (our brothers and SILs) to be able to enjoy themselves. I know you could always hire a sitter to watch the kids at the reception, but I know that the parents would still be looking in on them, etc.

All the kids came to the church (since there are so many I couldn't choose some to be a part of the wedding party) and after the ceremony we took a picture of me and my husband sitting on the altar steps with the kids sitting around us. It was a way to involve them and make them feel special. Good luck!

That seemed to include everyone and now we're all hosting the wedding together.

Question on Etiquette

We are also not having any children at our wedding, with the exception of the flower girl and the ring bearer. (who are 2 and 3) I think that if they are part of the wedding party then they should be allowed to attend the reception. and as members of the wedding party you can explain to anyone else that has children that that is why they are at the reception. And additionally at my wedding children under 5 are free so it is not costing me anything to have them there.

Jamelle

Question on Etiquette

I think you should ask his parents. If there is some way he could be at the ceremony and then a sitter could pick him up and take him home, that could work. My SIL did that with her niece and it worked out well. Definitely speak to his parents so as not to make thier life difficult on your day.

I agree with you. Both parents should be listed as hosting the wedding, especially if your parents paid for reception. My mom has contributed some money and my Dad probably will in the end, but right now it's me and my fiance paying. My invitation reads: Jane Doe daughter of _________!!! and John Dear, son of _______!! invite you to share in their wedding

Jamelle

Question on Etiquette

I have 9 children coming to my wedding. I also feel that my immediate nieces and nephews need to be there. They are a part of the family and I remember always going to weddings when I was young, family weddings that is. I have a ring bearer and flowergirl both under 5 and then 2 three year olds. The rest are over 7. I don't have to invite them, but I just felt that for my SIL's, it would cost them more money to have to hire a sitter on top of flying here and gifts, etc.

Jamelle

Question on Etiquette

Just FYI - There is a book on this site that is dedicated to Etiquette.

Question on Etiquette

Thanks for all the responses. There are two and a half hours in between the church and the reception so there would be plenty of time to take him to a sitter but I don't want to do something that isn't proper. I have some thinking to do on this one.

Jennifer, I can not say that I understand what you are feeling, I do not think that anyone can unless they are in your shoes. I do not think that it matters who gets married first, but there should be I would say at least 3 months between the two, and yes they have plenty of time to plan a wedding, I did mine in 9 months. Both you and your brother are adults and should talk it out and come up with a plan that works for both of you. My suggestion is to leave your parents out of it. Do not put them in a situation to choose who is right between you and your brother, otherwise BOTH weddings will be ruiened, by family turmoil and hurt feelings. The same thing happened to my SIL her and my brother got engaged in Nov. and her Sister in Dec. her sister got married in March and her wedding was in November. they were both lovely and there were no hard feelings. talk to your brother, and explain how you feel. Ask him is it at all possible to get married within the year, and then this way it is still 6 months before your wedding. theirs will be over, and then you will still have your time to shine ON YOUR OWN. I suggest that your let your brother get married first because you have already planned yours, and indicated that you did so far in advance for $$ purposes. It is unfair to ask your brother to wait until after your wedding to plan his wedding, he has a life to live also and it is not fair to ask them to put their marriage on hold to appease your want to shine in the spotlight all alone. With that said, if he gets married before you, then you still have your time to SHINE BY YOURSELF, if he gets married after you then you have to share your spotlight, and then there will always be talk of his wedding coming up. For example, while you are doing all of your planning and showers and the wedding people will be saying see you again in ___ months for John's (your brothers) wedding. You will have to share the planning stages together. Let him do his and finish, learn from his mistakes and plan the best wedding ever. Be unique and keep your wedding ideas to yourself, so that the first time your family friends sees them is at your wedding. Good luck I know that it is not an easy situation but make the best of it, and keep peace, family is too important to let a wedding date disrupt things. Jamelle

As for you being selfish- NO WAY!!! I'd be peeved if my sister planned her wedding so close to mine. Especially when you've been enganged and have had the date set for a while. Have you tried talking to your brother? What does your family think?