How do handle inviting/not inviting young children to the wedding??????? Back
Annieb Posted: Feb 24, 2003 12:21 PM+
Annieb MEMBER SINCE: 9/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1123 WEDDING DATE: Sep 02, 2003
Posted: Feb 24, 2003 12:21 PM bride-minus.png

How do handle inviting/not inviting young children to the wedding???????

I don't mind children over a certain age (like 3 or 4) being at my wedding and, i plan to invite them. HOWEVER, i am really afraid of a screaming baby ruining my ceremony! It seems like my family members just assume that their children will be attending the wedding (even babies only a few months old). How do i solve this situation...how can i make it clear that children under a certain age are not invited without offending anyone??? How did everyone handle this? The problem is that some families have children of various ages (some of which are in my bridal party) how do i invite some of their kids and not all???
Even my parents have said that this will be considered a 'rude' and offensive act on my part...i can't understand this...they are paying a small fortune for my wedding and don't care if a baby screams through the whole thing???
radiostar Posted: Feb 24, 2003 12:26 PM+
radiostar MEMBER SINCE: 1/03 TOTAL POSTS : 697 WEDDING DATE: Sep 19, 2003
Posted: Feb 24, 2003 12:26 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How do handle inviting/not inviting young children to the wedding???????

I'm sure you already have your time locked down....but, what I did was. . . .have an evening wedding so late until parents wouldn't dare bring them. That's how I avoided it! (I have a lot of guests with LOTS of kids!)

Another thing is, delicately print on your invites, ADULT RECEPTION FOLLOWING CEREMONY!

Hope that helps!
OctBride03 Posted: Feb 24, 2003 12:29 PM+
OctBride03 MEMBER SINCE: 9/02 TOTAL POSTS : 6768 WEDDING DATE: Oct 19, 2003
Posted: Feb 24, 2003 12:29 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How do handle inviting/not inviting young children to the wedding???????

I have 5 children in the actual wedding, ranging from ages 3 - 11... to make peace... we will be 'allowing' our cousins (one his and one mine), to bring their sons both are about 5. My uncle's wife recently had a baby who will be a year when I get married. They are already planning on who will be babysitting!

I'm with you! NO screaming babies! I do not want baby carraiges, baby bottles, diaper bags or anything hanging around. Sorry if that sounds awful!!! I totally LOVE kids, but I have to end it somewhere!

OH - the two cousins who may bring their sons - will ONLY be if they question it... otherwise the invite will not state AND FAMILY...

hope this makes sense!
Thrilled Posted: Feb 24, 2003 12:29 PM+
Thrilled MEMBER SINCE: 7/02 TOTAL POSTS : 2330 WEDDING DATE: Sep 06, 2003
Posted: Feb 24, 2003 12:29 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How do handle inviting/not inviting young children to the wedding???????

Well I felt that we couldn't exclude the babies and include all the other kids so we said no to ALL kids. Period. Did it pi$$ people off? Absolutely. But we are standing our ground and people will get over it. We basically spread the word through family members and when asked, flat out said, although as nicely as possible, that we were not inviting children. Most said 'Oh I totally understand' but a few, my cousin included, made a big #$%^ deal out of it and dragged my family into it. I'm still mad at her over it but whatever.

Be firm is all I can say.
Annieb Posted: Feb 24, 2003 12:35 PM+
Annieb MEMBER SINCE: 9/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1123 WEDDING DATE: Sep 02, 2003
Posted: Feb 24, 2003 12:35 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How do handle inviting/not inviting young children to the wedding???????

Thanks for the advice girls Did you tell your family members orally...or did you put on the invitation something like 'no kids under X?' I am most concerned about the ceremony and not as much about the reception where i feel it will be noisier and have less of an impact.

i think that not inviting any kids would really be impossible for me so i just want to eliminate those that are too young to know better

This week i will be speaking to the mother of my flower girl (my cousin)...i know she already assumes that her newborn baby (who will be 8 mos at our wedding) is coming---how do i tell her no???? Do you think a two year old is ok???
nrvbrd Posted: Feb 24, 2003 12:36 PM+
nrvbrd MEMBER SINCE: 10/02 TOTAL POSTS : 5249 WEDDING DATE: Sep 06, 2003
Posted: Feb 24, 2003 12:36 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How do handle inviting/not inviting young children to the wedding???????

I have been very verbal about not having children so that helps.

Also, I am including on my invite:

Adult Reception immediately following
karen32 Posted: Feb 24, 2003 12:57 PM+
karen32 MEMBER SINCE: 8/02 TOTAL POSTS : 4562 WEDDING DATE: Oct 25, 2003
Posted: Feb 24, 2003 12:57 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How do handle inviting/not inviting young children to the wedding???????

We are going to be very specific on the invites that it is for Mr. & Mrs. ONLY!!! Unfortunately, like you, I am most concerned about the ceremony. There is no way to stop people from bringing children to the church. I'm hoping that the parents will have enough sense to remove any screaming children during the ceremony.
susans Posted: Feb 24, 2003 01:28 PM+
susans MEMBER SINCE: 12/01 TOTAL POSTS : 1731 WEDDING DATE: Jan 25, 2003
Posted: Feb 24, 2003 01:28 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How do handle inviting/not inviting young children to the wedding???????

There's no way you're going to be able to do it without offending people.
You'll have some people that will be completely fine and get a sitter.
Other people will get completely ****ed off.
What can you do? It's your wedding. Stand your ground. It helps if you have your own family supporting you and spreading the word via word of mouth. My mother was no help at all because she couldn't bear the thought of offending anyone.
regina2 Posted: Feb 24, 2003 01:57 PM+
regina2 MEMBER SINCE: 12/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1039 WEDDING DATE: Nov 08, 2003
Posted: Feb 24, 2003 01:57 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How do handle inviting/not inviting young children to the wedding???????

I just told my cousins that no kids were allowed. And to tell you the truth several thanked me, a night away from the kids.

In fact, before I even thought of it, one of my cousins wives came up to me and said 'you dont want kids at your wedding trust me'. And she has three that she wants to leave at home.

The only kids that I'm inviting are his nieces and my niece and nephew. And mine will be the youngest ( 18 months and 5years).

My wedding will wind up being big drink fest and would prefer not having too many kids...
michele31 Posted: Feb 24, 2003 02:06 PM+
michele31 MEMBER SINCE: 6/01 TOTAL POSTS : 10673 WEDDING DATE: Nov 02, 2002 WEDDING LOCATION: Tavern on the Green
Posted: Feb 24, 2003 02:06 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How do handle inviting/not inviting young children to the wedding???????

You have to make a decision- to have children or not have them. You cannot pick and choice- except to ONLY include BP/niece/nephew/your own children. If you invite entire families except that some of the children will misbehave. A wedding is a long event and children get tired and bored. And that is totaly understandable. Trust me, people will be offended no matter what you do. You cannot tell someone that their 3 year old is included, but there 2 year old is not. Make a decision and stick to it. And when someone calls and says 'I cannot come without my 4 year old' you have to say 'I am really sorry but we are not having small children at our wedding and if I make an exception for one it is unfair to the other guests'. I did break my rule for my cousin's 12 year old because she and my Aunt assumed for months that he could be her 'date' and never bothered to ask me until the last minute. I didn't even want to deal with it at that point and my Mom told them that I was not happy about it.
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