wedding gift when you're BROKE??

we're coming in to the 'home-stretch' on closing on our house!!!!

woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm invited to a shower and wedding in april and may, respectively, for a 'friend' who knows that we're buying a house.

she and her fh were broke for my wedding, by the way.

what kind of gift? how much?
would you feel comfortable showing up with??

oh, for the record, when i wrote BROKE in the post subject, i meant 'i ain't got NO money!'

Re: wedding gift when you're BROKE??

I answered your post on BHB.

Welcome to the home-stretch!!

Re: wedding gift when you're BROKE??

hmm - you wrote 'friend'. is she a real friend? or a co-worker/neighbor/etc-friend?

if she's a real friend-friend, then maybe get her something very inexpensive for her shower. when my bil got married earlier this year i was invited (really late) to his wife's shower. i had NO money since i have NO job and I'm a broke-a$$ law student, so I got her a cake stand/cover off of her bb&b registry that cost $10.00. yes - 10 bucks and it was really nice.

for the wedding, i say give what you can. seriously. i couldn't tell you, though i'm sure you know from you own experience, how many cheap-a$$ gifts i got for my wedding from people who i KNOW have money and no expenses. if all you can give is $25 for the wedding, then so be it.

the thought is what should count.

eta - congrats on the house!!!

Re: wedding gift when you're BROKE??

thank you, both, for the congrats

Re: wedding gift when you're BROKE??

I would try to do the best you can for both the shower and wedding gifts. If this person is a true friend, then she should understand. Also, are you really close with this person? Do you have to go to both?

BTW, congrats on the house! We are closing date twins!!!! 11 days!!!

Re: wedding gift when you're BROKE??

great news on the house! i am sure that any friend would understand what you are going through, especially if they were broke for yours, too. one of the most thoughtful gifts we received for our engagement, a weekend away at my friend's parent's beach house, was free.

Re: wedding gift when you're BROKE??

Give what you can afford. Plain and simple. If they have a problem with what you gave, they're not really friends. Everyone's budget is different, I sure as heck wouldn't want to know someone killed themselves to give me a gift.

Re: wedding gift when you're BROKE??

Give what you can for the shower. No gift is too small , it is the thought that counts. Are you crafty?

As for the wedding you have up to one year to give a present. Whatever you feel comfortable doing.

Re: wedding gift when you're BROKE??

I agree with all the other girls, only give what you can! When you got married I am sure you did not care how much people gave you dollar wise. It was the thought that counted.

When i got married I had a friend that gave $300 for 2 people, another that gave $100 for 2 people, and another that did not give us anything but took us out to dinner 3 months later. And everyone of them were fine to us because they all have different lifestyles and that was what they could afford to give. I would have been upset if I knew that my friend that gave me $100 gave me $300 but then her 2 kids didn't have a nice Christmas because of it, or whatever.

Don't feel bad about whatever you give, it is the thought that counts. And especially since you have a wedding and a shower all within your closing month, that is alot!

BTW, Congrats on the closing and I hope it goes good!!!!!

Re: wedding gift when you're BROKE??

I'd just give her what she gave you at your wedding..

Re: wedding gift when you're BROKE??

A gift should be what you can afford. That said, if she was broke and gave you a gift, you should try to reciprocate. Perhaps if you can't swing it now you can talk to her and write a nice card wishing them well and you can plan to do something special for them after you settle on your house when your finances are a bit more stable. I think something must be done, even if it's simply a card and something small, or a card with the thought for a future gift. My BF and I did not exchange gifts as our weddings were so close, but we made each other scrap books from growing up and as a sort of post/wedding birthday present (her birthday was so soon after her wedding) i printed up several large pictures that I had taken at her wedding and framed them. It was relatively inexpensive and I think she really liked them. You can go the 'thoughtful' route with something like that - it means a lot.

Re: wedding gift when you're BROKE??

again, thank you all for putting me at ease about knowing i can't give too much.

LandsEnd06: woo hoo!!!!!!!! closing-date-twins!!!!!