Re: Repost from BHB: question about interfaith marriages and kids

My response was to 'Otherme'. Sorry if I offended everyone. Guess I shouldn't have posted my honest opinion. The question originally was about a Christmas tree and that was what I responded to. As far as how I picked my religion, I was born into it, is that rare?
I understand the meaning behind the majority of religions as I have studied them in depth through college and life experiences with religious individuals on many different levels. However a child does not view religion the same way as an adult does. I know because as a Jewish child I remember the holidays my friends celebrated and my 10 hour day at temple, fasting and praying was not as much fun as the holidays they told me about.
In response to the religion isn't fun bit. Religion can be fun, and if it is not made at least a little fun....good luck getting your children to accept it and enjoy it. The parts of the Jewish religion I enjoyed most as a child were the fun parts: Purim, Simchat Torah and Channukah.
I assume that the people who responded to my post with such negativity don't get presents on Christmas or believe in Santa because they are busy praying and celebrating the birth of Christ. I also assume that on Easter there are no egg hunts or Easter baskets because once again you are in church.
One of the reasons I believe religion is important is to have traditions and time with family.

---

Posted by dleeny

---

Posted by amyandbill

Okay here it goes...I am Jewish so I see your husband's warped point of view. I am Jewish and have agreed to raise my children catholic although I will not convert.
The symbols that Catholics believe as harmless and barely religious, the Jews view as religious and dare I say 'too much fun'. The Jewish religion is a wonderful religion, one that I hold much love for, however it is not a fun religion. As adults we know that if children have the choice they will choose Santa and The Easter Bunny to Fasting and Matzoh any day.
Your husband is afraid that his children will be confused with the tree. They won't be as long as you explain it to them!

---

I really don't get where you're coming from

my husband as a 'warped point of view'?

religions aren't supposed to be 'fun'. is that how you pick yours?

---

Re: Repost from BHB: question about interfaith marriages and kids

Amy,
Although your post was not directed at me, I think that to call anyone's POV 'warped' was uncalled for. As for being honest, that is a good thing.

I think I understand what you are trying to say about Judaism not being 'fun,' insofar as it involves fasting, longer services, and learning a foreign language to prepare an entire service for a bar/bat mitzvah. However, Judaism can be a lot of fun if parents help their children learn about their heritage and there are certainly fun holidays. I remember fondly celebrating simchas torah, rosh hashanah and even chanukah as fun times spent with my family.

But I think this thread was meant to be deeper than just the fun stuff. It all boils down to giving your children spirituality, and helping them find the meaning of life and where they fit in. And if religion helps a person do that great, if not that is great too. But it is the guidance that each faith provides that is what is crucial to the upbringing of children. There are so many facets of religion, that IMHO just teaching respect, tolerance and learning of each one is not enough. Those things definitely should be taught as part of bringing up a well rounded child, but it is the faith/spirituality/belief that perpetuates the religion and that is necessary and should be taught too.
Sorry if I went off on a tanget. Off my soap box.

Re: Repost from BHB: question about interfaith marriages and kids

---

Posted by lrs2005

Amy,
Although your post was not directed at me, I think that to call anyone's POV 'warped' was uncalled for. As for being honest, that is a good thing.

I think I understand what you are trying to say about Judaism not being 'fun,' insofar as it involves fasting, longer services, and learning a foreign language to prepare an entire service for a bar/bat mitzvah. However, Judaism can be a lot of fun if parents help their children learn about their heritage and there are certainly fun holidays. I remember fondly celebrating simchas torah, rosh hashanah and even chanukah as fun times spent with my family.

But I think this thread was meant to be deeper than just the fun stuff. It all boils down to giving your children spirituality, and helping them find the meaning of life and where they fit in. And if religion helps a person do that great, if not that is great too. But it is the guidance that each faith provides that is what is crucial to the upbringing of children. There are so many facets of religion, that IMHO just teaching respect, tolerance and learning of each one is not enough. Those things definitely should be taught as part of bringing up a well rounded child, but it is the faith/spirituality/belief that perpetuates the religion and that is necessary and should be taught too.
Sorry if I went off on a tanget. Off my soap box.

---

As you can see - this subject can be very difficult. I do appreciate reading other people's opinions on it though - and for the record, i was not offended in any way by amyandbill's post about my husbands 'warped' view! (i don't think its warped necessarily, its just an issue we have to work through together).
In a forum like this, people should be able to speak honestly. I look forward to hearing everyone's different opinions on subjects. If we all had the same opinion on everything, this world could get pretty boring!
Thanks ladies

Re: Repost from BHB: question about interfaith marriages and kids

I always thought the child follows the moms religion. My aunt is Jewish and uncle is Catholic. The kids both had their Bat/Bar mitvahs (sp). They celebrate both also. I am Baptized Luthuren, raised catholic and DH family is Muslim and Hindu. We are not 'picking' a religion IF we have kids. That will be up to them when they get older.

Re: Repost from BHB: question about interfaith marriages and kids

---

Posted by Mrs.Z

I always thought the child follows the moms religion. My aunt is Jewish and uncle is Catholic. The kids both had their Bat/Bar mitvahs (sp). They celebrate both also. I am Baptized Luthuren, raised catholic and DH family is Muslim and Hindu. We are not 'picking' a religion IF we have kids. That will be up to them when they get older.

---

I believe thats traditionally what is done - but my question is due to the fact that i don't follow any religion but my husband does. If we agree to raise our children jewish, I don't want to give up celebrating the few traditions that my family follows that happen to be christian traditions (i.e. Christmas but without any religious references) and therefore how we don't confuse our children.

Re: Repost from BHB: question about interfaith marriages and kids

Tough call, I guess cross that bridge whrn you get there. Or do both. So many people have both, none whatever; as long as their happy...right?

Re: Repost from BHB: question about interfaith marriages and kids

DH and I have discussed our religious options too. I am catholic and DH is Jewish-neither one of us practices. I am open to raising our childern Jewish but I will not convert. I also know that according to the Jewish religion the mother is suppossed to also be Jewish but hopefully reform temples are more open to an interfaith family.
So many of my friends HAD to get married in our local church which I thought was somewhat hypocritical because I know they haven't practiced in years and didn't go to church after the wedding until they had children and needed to get baptized. Seems like chuch is convenient for the big sacraments. Whatever your religion it should be part of your everyday life not just for special occasions. JMO :)