Advice thread for Long-Distance Brides (aka another soapbox moment for me)

A newly engaged bride-to-be sent me an FM asking if I had any advice about planning a wedding from long-distance. I came up with a list of vendors you should meet in person vs. ones that can be booked long-distance.

Maybe some other long-distance brides can chime in about how to plan a LI wedding from another state?

Here are my tips:

In-person
-Reception Hall - Duh. you obviously want to see it. BUT you dont have to sign a contract in person. This can be done later by fax/FedEx.. dont feel pressured to sign right then and there because you are leaving town.

-Officiant - You want them to get to know you a little bit so that your ceremony is more personal (you also want to get to know them!)

-Florist - Start off calling a bunch of places to get price quotes but meet only with the places that give you the best prices. You'll want to see examples of what they envision for your wedding.

Over the phone/email
-DJ - What could a DJ possibly show you/tell you in person that they couldnt explain over the phone? DJs are all about reputation and pricing.

-Photographer/Videographer - I had them send CDs/DVDs of their work and I talked to them over the phone. This is exactly what they will do if you meet them in person...show you their work, and show their personality (aka if they are someone you want with you the entire day). Its also easier to resist upselling over the phone!

-Placecards/Menus/etc. This can all be done with spreadsheets and word files. They can email you samples of what your stuff will look like. No need to meet someone in person for this.

Also....
Highly recommend you use a national chain for BM dresses and tuxes. We used David's Bridal and Men's Wearhouse. We were able to pick out the BM dresses and tuxes in Maryland (and not waste time on our precious few visits to LI) and it made it much easier for the guys/girls to go to their local store.

Great advice!

I'm not a long distance bride, but most of our BP is out of state. The one thing I would say about BM dresses is that if you don't use David's, then order them all from the same store, especially if they are dark in color. You want the dresses (especially dark ones) to come from the same dye lot. Otherwise, you can have slight variations in color.

This is terrific advice!

My cousin planned a long distance wedding and that was exactly how she handled it.

thats great advice!
as for the tuxes though, they don't have to be through a nat. chain. Most of our GM were OOT and they went to a local store, got measurements and then called them into the place we got the tuxes from. It was very easy.

im an out of state bride and i did most of this like you said..i had 4 days in feb to see everything and thats it..i wont be back to NY until 3 days before the wedding..TALK ABOUT STRESS!!!!!

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

thats great advice!
as for the tuxes though, they don't have to be through a nat. chain. Most of our GM were OOT and they went to a local store, got measurements and then called them into the place we got the tuxes from. It was very easy.

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This is what our GMs are doing. None are local!

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

thats great advice!
as for the tuxes though, they don't have to be through a nat. chain. Most of our GM were OOT and they went to a local store, got measurements and then called them into the place we got the tuxes from. It was very easy.

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I didnt mean necessarily for OOT GMs... more for OOT & . If you can get the tuxes done at a chain store near your house in your state, its one less thing you have to do on one of your tight-schedule trips to LI.

I would actually recommend meeting with the photographers in person. I'm really glad that I did b/c there were a few who's work I liked when they sent me their spreads but I didn't click with them in person (pardon the pun).

But we will likely not be making the trip for the DJ picking.

I live in Florida and am getting married in Holbrook and had never been there (NY) before. FM me for details

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

thats great advice!
as for the tuxes though, they don't have to be through a nat. chain. Most of our GM were OOT and they went to a local store, got measurements and then called them into the place we got the tuxes from. It was very easy.

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I found a suit I liked online (jimsformalwear.com) and found local (NY) tux shops. Had my GM measured all over the US then sent the measurements to the NY tux shop where we're renting the suits.

well if anyone has any specific question feel free to FM me b/c im planning my wedding from Calif.

But all i can say is that e-mail, telephone, and the fax machine have been my life saviors. It really was not that difficult to do it from here at all but what was difficult was the fact that if i wanted to stop by and yell at one of vendors (which happened twice) lol , i couldnt do it that instant i needed to do it within a few weeks and by then ive already cooled down so they didnt get the same effect. And i agree about using a national chain for BM dresses, i ordered from netbride and then shipped the dresses to all the girls, they are scattered all over the state so buying/ordering the BM dresses was wasier than i thought it would be.

Oh and one more thing, everytime i order something online, i ship it directly to my moms house in NY which makes things easier.

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Posted by milana

Oh and one more thing, everytime i order something online, i ship it directly to my moms house in NY which makes things easier.

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YES YES YES! Great tip!! I did alot of the same!

Thanks everyone! We are getting started with the planning next weekend! Trying to take a few weeks to just enjoy being engaged

I agree--about photographer/videographer in person also for me, DJ since I wanted to know his personality.

What was most helpful to me was making a very detailed itineary for each weekend I did go up to NY to make the most of my time....I got made fun of my family for this at times BUT for piece of mind it helped a lot.

Depends on where your BM/GM are for dresses and tuxes...since all BM were in NY, I used a NY shop---GM were mostly near us, so we used national chain.

I also found getting MY dress where I live (DC) was a lot easier (and cheaper!) for fittings, etc.

Also easier for things like invites, rings, etc.

Bought favors online and had them shipped to NY which was helpful as well.

I actually didn't see our reception hall besides pics online ---we had a 11 month engagement and wanted a Sat. summer wedding on the water sooo was limited in what was left..parents signed CLM and my sister (mattandtricia07) went with them to the tasting....BEST decision ever not to lose our date (but I know in person is what most people need/would want to do).

I actually found long distance planning easier than if I lived in NY...I am SURE I would have researched and interviewed a lot more vendors if I had more time in NY...I was EXTREMELY pleased with all our vendors..there is aonly one I might have choose differently in the end but all and all---all were wonderful!

PS If you can have at least one BM or MOH in NY it helps a lot, my MOH, my sister, mattandtricia07 was a lifesaver to me in SOOO many ways!!! (and so were my parents and grandparents)