help

confused Posted: Dec 08, 2003 09:29 AM

help

Did anyone every meet someone while you have been engaged and think that there is someone better out there ?

dino1109 Posted: Dec 08, 2003 09:31 AM

Re: help

EEEk! No, I havent, not really. Try not to get so confused- you need to really think about any steps you might take before you do anything! You fell in love with FI for a reason....

AliKing Posted: Dec 08, 2003 09:33 AM

Re: help

No Never... Is this what happened to you?

confused Posted: Dec 08, 2003 09:36 AM

Re: help

YES
and I have to hide myself on here to just talk about it

I spent time with this person and had more fun with him in 10 hours then I have with my fh in 2 years

btrflygrl Posted: Dec 08, 2003 09:37 AM

Re: help

Well....if this person you met is a first time meeting...it could just be a crush...if you are interacting and finding you interact better than you do with FI, you might be at a plateau (which all relationships hit at some point) and you nee dto re-evaluate your engagement. And just because you interact with someone else better at first, doesn't mean that they are better for you than FI.....who knows...this guy could be the type that flirts and wants what he can't have (you getting married) and once you're available, the fun of the game is over and he loses his interest. Good Luck Sweetie....

BMD'sPeanut Posted: Dec 08, 2003 09:55 AM

Re: help

chances are there is some thing in your relationship with FH that caused you to seek out the drama of another man.
be very careful in the actions you take and the decisions you make.
do you really want to ruin whatever it is you had with your FH that caused him to be your FH???
this is your life! not the movies.

peeweesgirl Posted: Dec 08, 2003 10:03 AM

Re: help

Before you do or act upon this do a pro and con list. What you love about you fi and what you don't are they fixable. It might be possible that you are bored in your relationship need to spice things up. Sit down with fi and go over things , this new guy might just be a sign that things need to be wroked on. GOOD LUCK AND THINK BEFORE YOU ACT....We are here for you

JimmysBride Posted: Dec 08, 2003 10:08 AM

Re: help

I would diagnose this as 'grass is greener on the other side' syndrome. Often when we meet someone new that we are attracted to, they seem to be the best thing since sliced bread. But that just because of the newness of it all. Combine that with some normal 'omg, I'm getting married!' nerves and you get 'doubts'.

Don't let this get to you. Stay away from this person and remind yourself how much you love and why you are marrying your FH.

Samanthas Mom Posted: Dec 08, 2003 10:08 AM

Re: help

No. I have not
if you say you had more fun w/ this person in ten minutes than w/ your FH in two years you might want to re think your decision to marry. It is better to get out now then get divorced later. If you are that unsure and have doubts. Good Luck to you

shamma Posted: Dec 08, 2003 10:14 AM

Re: help

New is always nice, but is there any substance to it?? when you get to know the everyday person, will all that fun still be there?? Think before you act.

Why are you, an engaged woman out spending time with another man?? are there problems at home?? Think with your head sweetie. As they say new broom sweep clean, but old broom knows the corners.

I hope you find the answers you are looking for. Whatever you are looking for you will find as they say. If you are looking for fun, why not start at home, if you look for something to be wrong with your FI you will find it, that is the way our minds work. No one needs to help us find faults with others.

Instead of magnifying that tho' magnify what is good and wonderful about your relationship. If after doing that, it is still not what you want, then move on.

Everytime you want fun and it is not provided for you with who you are with, will you go looking for it, or will you try to make the 'fun' with who you have??

Remember all relationships have their peaks and their valleys. Everyday will not be Sunday.

Take care and let us know what happens

Licia Posted: Dec 08, 2003 10:23 AM

Re: help

This is a confusing time for all of us. We are taking such a big step. Choosing to be with one man for the rest of our lives. Just because this guy is different from what you are used to dosen't mean it is better.
I was feeling the pressure, I think we both were. We were fighting and picking at everything...I was begining tofeel like we would be misserable...So what we did was get away...We went to foxwoods for a weekend and just forgot about work and the wedding. We are still smiling. It was the best thing we ever did. We didn't worry about the wedding at all....yes money was tight but it didn't mater we NEEDED to do this..
The piont to all this is remember why you wanted to marry him in the first place...That is what I did...We are back in love again.

halloweenbride04 Posted: Dec 08, 2003 10:24 AM

Re: help

You have FM.

casg Posted: Dec 08, 2003 10:34 AM

Re: help

Maybe you just need alittle bit of spice try something new in your relationship

Jen_n_Dale Posted: Dec 08, 2003 11:11 AM

Re: help

I haven't now. But I have had this in my past. And let me tell you, although when I met this person, it was fun. It ended just as soon as it began. And what comes around goes around. This guy left me and I was left with no one. And I winded up kicking myself because I lost and hurt someone so bad who really was a great person.

jessnyc711 Posted: Dec 08, 2003 03:40 PM

Re: help

I think it is natural for all of us and the men to to have some small thoughts of doubt or maybe not doubt, but to reflect and wonder, Okay is this really the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, being engaged is one thing, but boy does it really start to hit you when you start the planning and the signing of contracts, the expenses - it really starts to become very very serious and real. You are going to question and confirm in your head that this is the right thing. I think you really have to think about your relationship and the statement you made about having fun with your fiancee - Take out the other guy from the equation, thats only a distracting part of the real issue - are you happy with your relationship and what would make it better - are those things that you can communicate with your fiancee? do you even want to make it better or have you just been going along passively and you see this other person as the way out? Just remember you should treat your boyfriend with the respect to not cheat on him - you have to either be up front, work on the relationship or get out before you hurt someone badly.

anaissa Posted: Dec 08, 2003 08:55 PM

Re: help

I think that girls are right and it may just be cold feet... You just have to sit down and assess the situation.

Kelly9904 Posted: Dec 08, 2003 09:01 PM

Re: help

I havent since being engaged but have before.
I agree with the women who said 'the grass is always greener' I think you may just be at a point where you are realizing that you are going to be with your FH for the rest of your life. You wont be seeking out a new relationship. And you may just be experiencing cold feet so to speak.

All of us can remember how exciting it was in the beginning, but remember for all the good beginnings how many of them actually remained good and exciting?? There is a reason you said YES to your FH, you need to remember this. We all hit this plateau as it was described and we probably all think to ourselves is there somehting more or better out there.

Maybe you and your FH just need to do something to help you off this plateau and spice things up. Whatever you do, dont make any rash decisions that you will regret later! Think it out and talk it out if necessary but make sure that whatever choice you make, you are prepared for its consequences!