Over 50% of marriages end in Divorce...

chichila15 Posted: Jul 01, 2004 01:56 PM

Over 50% of marriages end in Divorce...

I don't mean to bring such a negative topic to such a happy place (yaaaaay LIW), but this is a serious matter, and would like to open for discussion.

'Over 50% of marriage ends in divorce.'

IMO, this is a very scary #. However, I believe a marriage will end up divorced, if the couple gives up. A relationship, whether it's marriage or dating, takes work and it needs nourishment. There's good & bad... and if you give up when bad things happen, then it's all over.

We use the vow 'Through good times & bad times, in sickness & in health...' for a reason. Life is not perfect and couples make a promise to each other - so why do '50% of couples' not keep it, and end up giving up? Because divorce is so accepted now by society, and that sucks!

CaCRmr Posted: Jul 01, 2004 01:59 PM

Re: Over 50% of marriages end in Divorce...

I read that somewhere ..... I agree with you. We don't say 'In good times and in bad' for no reason. I'm not knocking people who have gotten divorces because some times its for the better.

FrescaBride Posted: Jul 01, 2004 01:59 PM

Re: Over 50% of marriages end in Divorce...

Funny you'd post this. We were just talking about this at work. I think it's because people take marriage this day very lightly and because some people might go with the idea that if it doesn't work out, you can always get divorced. But I always said, if you are going with that idea in mind, why get married in the first place. It's a high number and it is pretty sad.

cocoa Posted: Jul 01, 2004 02:00 PM

Re: Over 50% of marriages end in Divorce...

i agree with you... relationships are life careers, and you can't retire or quit, maybe take a sabbatical once in awhile (personal time) but like any job, it requires effort. you must be there and be in it for it to work. it is HARD, but the paycheck is amazing. i don't want to give up or quit on this guy, ever!

RedHead Posted: Jul 01, 2004 02:01 PM

Re: Over 50% of marriages end in Divorce...

I thought the percent was higher actually

ANd IMO...most marraiges end due to selfishness on somebodies part
accompanied by the intolerance of their partner to this selfishness..

I also believe there are certainly times that a divorce is necessary..
and Not all BAD TIMES can nor should be worked through..

but yes the percentages is distressing

oakslady Posted: Jul 01, 2004 02:02 PM

Re: Over 50% of marriages end in Divorce...

hmmm guess that is why prenups are so popular -
guess people get married when they arent ready -
dont really know ....

chichila15 Posted: Jul 01, 2004 02:02 PM

Re: Over 50% of marriages end in Divorce...

Posted by FrescaBride

...people take marriage this day very lightly and because some people might go with the idea that if it doesn't work out, you can always get divorced. But I always said, if you are going with that idea in mind, why get married in the first place. It's a high number and it is pretty sad.

EXACTLY!!! It if definitely taken lightly, and don't care about throwing the $ around, because they could always 'reverse the process'. I definitely understand that there are times when divorce IS the answer, but not 50%! If anything, it's more respectable if it's lower than 20%.

Spitzergirl Posted: Jul 01, 2004 02:06 PM

Re: Over 50% of marriages end in Divorce...

Too me personally, even having a bf/gf...takes work. If one is not complementing the other, the relationship would die.

Just like in dating/marriage/work/personal life, you have to give it your all to be content.

Bunnymonkey Posted: Jul 01, 2004 02:07 PM

Re: Over 50% of marriages end in Divorce...

I agree! I think people are WAY to willing to say 'It's not working! Goodbye...' because it has become SO acceptable in our society.

My parents teach a marriage class and my Dad said something once that really stuck with me and helps so much. I was going on and on about this couple and their on-again, off-again romance, their torment at not knowing whether they should marry or not. I was blabbing about soul mates and destiny and if what if they are 'meant' to be together, and he stopped me saying 'Sweetheart, you have to realize something. LOVE IS A CHOICE. This couple has to decide if they want to love each other for the rest of their lives, or choose to move on. Whatever they chose, it is the right thing.'

These words are so important to me! While I do believe my honey is the 'one' I also know that I am CHOOSING to love him for the rest of my life...despite this, that or the other thing, and that is the vow I will be taking next year.

I do however, think there are some instances where Divorce is acceptable, we can all imagine what horrific scenarios have occured in some seriously dysfunctional relationships...But I won't go there.

Great topic. Thanks.

RedHead Posted: Jul 01, 2004 02:12 PM

Re: Over 50% of marriages end in Divorce...

OK for those strictly following:
In good times and in bad

You don't think there are some reasons that divorce is warrented?

Cheating?

Aga Posted: Jul 01, 2004 02:19 PM

Re: Over 50% of marriages end in Divorce...

I dont think I would be able to figive my husband for cheating, you just dont forget something like this and it is bound to make you bitter and resentful towards your partner...

chichila15 Posted: Jul 01, 2004 02:22 PM

Re: Over 50% of marriages end in Divorce...

Posted by oct.2004bride

OK for those strictly following:
In good times and in bad

You don't think there are some reasons that divorce is warrented?

Cheating?

'Oh contraer mon-freir' (sp?... lol)'. I believe there are many legit reasons why a marriage ends in divorce, but like FrescaBride said, marriage is taken lightly. Before divorce sky-rocketed, those that ended their marriage were parting for legit reasons (adultery, abuse, neglect, etc). But now, it's like some couples take their spouse 'for right now', and not 'till death do us part'.

RedHead Posted: Jul 01, 2004 02:25 PM

Re: Over 50% of marriages end in Divorce...

Posted by chichila15

Posted by oct.2004bride

OK for those strictly following:
In good times and in bad

You don't think there are some reasons that divorce is warrented?

Cheating?

'Oh contraer mon-freir' (sp?... lol)'.

I know what you are saying...what i was trying to get at was the reasons
people feel are and are not legit???

FUNNY THOUGH

chichila15 Posted: Jul 01, 2004 02:29 PM

Re: Over 50% of marriages end in Divorce...

There are always legit reasons... but that depends on the couple. I'm the type of person to believe that if my FH cheated, it was because something was wrong in our relationship. Like I mentioned before, relationships take work (some harder than others), but once you give up (ie, cheat), it's potentially over.

fallinlove04 Posted: Jul 01, 2004 02:40 PM

Re: Over 50% of marriages end in Divorce...

both my fi and i come from families whose parents are not divorced. he is one of 9 children and 6 of them are married, none have gotten divorces.

I plan on doing it once...so does my fi. i think the odds are with us on this one...

nan&dave Posted: Jul 01, 2004 02:43 PM

Re: Over 50% of marriages end in Divorce...

I honestly think SOME people take marriage to lightly, (just like the other brides have mentioned). Marriage does take a lot of work. I see it now, and we're just dating.

I've seen tons of people work out many problems (good times and bad). It takes patience, and a lot of love.