Tips for the ladies who like to drink
20 CLUES A WOMAN SHOULD CALL IT A NIGHT...
1. You have absolutely no idea where your purse is.
2. You believe that dancing with your arms overhead and wiggling your butt while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around. (Now you all know we've done this one!)
3. You've suddenly decided you want to kick someone's *** and honestly believe you could do it too.
4. In your last trip to 'pee' you realize you now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess you were just four hours ago.
5. You drop your 3:00 a.m. cheesesteak on the floor (which you're eating even though you're not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.
6. You start crying and telling everyone you see that you love them sooooo much!
7. There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.
8. You've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to you.
9. The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher.
10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.
11. Your eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so you keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
12. You've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
13. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated me by giving you just lemonade, but that's just because you can no longer taste the gin.
14. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like the kitchen or bathroom floor.
15. You start every conversation with a booming, 'DON'T take this The WRONG WAY but...'
16. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.
17. Your hugs begin to resemble wrestling takedown moves.
18. You're tired so you just sit on the floor (wherever you happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.
19. You begin leaving the buttons open on your button fly pants to cut down on the time you're in the bathroom away from your drink.
20. You take your shoes off because you believe it's their fault that you're having problems walking straight.
1. You have absolutely no idea where your purse is.
2. You believe that dancing with your arms overhead and wiggling your butt while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around. (Now you all know we've done this one!)
3. You've suddenly decided you want to kick someone's *** and honestly believe you could do it too.
4. In your last trip to 'pee' you realize you now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess you were just four hours ago.
5. You drop your 3:00 a.m. cheesesteak on the floor (which you're eating even though you're not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.
6. You start crying and telling everyone you see that you love them sooooo much!
7. There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.
8. You've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to you.
9. The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher.
10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.
11. Your eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so you keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
12. You've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
13. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated me by giving you just lemonade, but that's just because you can no longer taste the gin.
14. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like the kitchen or bathroom floor.
15. You start every conversation with a booming, 'DON'T take this The WRONG WAY but...'
16. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.
17. Your hugs begin to resemble wrestling takedown moves.
18. You're tired so you just sit on the floor (wherever you happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.
19. You begin leaving the buttons open on your button fly pants to cut down on the time you're in the bathroom away from your drink.
20. You take your shoes off because you believe it's their fault that you're having problems walking straight.
