sorry I haven't been on. sad update.

Sorr I haven't been online much ladies. I started back at work which was really stressful and my boss is kind of over my shoulder...

Yesterday my FIL was taken to the hospital. He has been batting cancer for over 2 years and they told us today this is the end. I spent the weekend at the hospital and tomorrow we are going to make decisions about hospice care. I am really sad and tired and overwhelmed. Please send your prayers.

Also, since my family and many of our friends are not Jewish, I want to put together something I can send them about Jewish Funeral/Shiva etiquett -don't send flowers, don't know on the door, etc. I can't find anything online that I like. They either seem too strict (I don;t want to make it sounds like I am giving them a list of rules or demands), or too loosey goosey, so if you find anything I can copy from that would be good. or else I'll just write something up. I want to get it set up ahead of time because I know that when the time comes I will be too upset and busy to do it.

Thanks!

I'm so sorry you are going through a very hard time right now. One of my good friend's mom passed away in January and I saw first hand how terrible and stressful the entire situation is. My prayers are with you and your FH.

I am so sorry for this happening to you and FH. I dont know what else to say

I'm so sorry to you, FH and the rest of the family. How heartbreaking it is to watch someone pass that way.

Here is something from Ehow.com, you should be able to take some stuff from it.

How to Behave at a Jewish Funeral
Contributor
By eHow Contributing Writer
Article Rating: (5 Ratings)

Behaving at a Jewish funeral shows your respect for the Jewish faith and the decedent. Follow these simple rules to properly conduct yourself at a Jewish funeral and during the traditional mourning periods with the decedent's family and friends.
Difficulty: Moderately Easy
Instructions

1.
Step 1

Find out if the funeral will be conducted according to Orthodox Jewish or Reform Jewish customs. Each faith has different customs and etiquette requirements.
2.
Step 2

Determine when and where the funeral will be held. Jewish funerals usually take place 24 hours after the death and can occur at temples, synagogues or funeral homes.
3.
Step 3

Attend the funeral service and burial. Listen to eulogies and respect prayers, even if you do not understand them. Take part in filling the grave with three shovelfuls of dirt; be sure to only hold the shovel pointing down and replace the shovel into the dirt when you are through instead of handing it to someone else. These specific actions are symbolic in the Jewish faith.
4.
Step 4

Allow the family a mourning period of at least three days after the burial. This mourning period is called 'Shiva' and is an important part of the Jewish grieving process.
5.
Step 5

Contact the family after the three-day period. Ask for permission to visit the mourning house.
6.
Step 6

Visit the mourning house. Take uncut fruit, baked kosher goods or other kosher foods and offer them as gifts to the family.
7.
Step 7

Sit on chairs of regular height. Low seats or benches are customarily reserved for mourners and bear symbolic significance.
8.
Step 8

Wait for family members to speak or initiate conversation. Traditionally, guests are expected to console the mourners with their presence and mourners are not obligated to acknowledge visitors. Listen to the family members if they initiate conversation. Share your feelings, memories and appreciation of the decedent.
9.
Step 9

Offer any other help and support to the mourning family.
10.
Step 10

Return to the grave site after a 30 day period or after a gravestone has been placed onto the site. Leave a small stone at the site to symbolize your visit.

Sorry to hear about your situation.

I am so sorry that you are going through this.

I'm so sorry.

im so sorry you are going through this

That's helpful, bit some of it is incorrect....

Thank you for the hugs.

i am so sorry you and FH are going through this.
know that he will be in good care with hospice. they are the most amazing people

I'm so sorry

I'm so sorry!! I went through this last year with my FMIL, so I know exactly what you are going through.

I am so sorry you are going through this

I am so sorry to hear about your FIL. That is so hard to cope with! I will keep both your families in my thoughts and prayers!

Thoughts and prayers to you and your family

I'm so sorry. :(. I know this is really hard on both of you, especially during such a happy time.

The jewish traditions during shiva aren't really that strict anymore unless they're religious. I doubt most people will go to the funeral.

Just mention, flowers aren't appropriate and if they visit during shiva, and want to bring something, fruit, nuts are acceptable.

So sorry you are going through this