**** 11/7/08 NWQOTD****

Hope you Mrs are having a great weekend!!!!


This topic came up at tea today and I thought it was a great subject.

What is your relationship like with you in-laws?
And has it changed now that your married?

Relationship w/ in laws was always pretty good, while DH & I were dating though there were a lot of rocky periods & that had nothing to do w/me - but DH & his mom went once- a year & 1/2 w/out speaking...it's a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG story. But they finally made up & have had periods of where DH's mom can be a real Bi-atch if she doesnt get her way all the time.

When DH & I got engaged IL's initially seemed really happy, but as soon as we set the date, FMIL totally flipped out - for 4 months it was back & forth of we're not coming, we're coming, we're not coming, to finally that they were coming....all b/c DH's mom did not want to attend a summer wedding in the heat

In the end, they came had a good time & for the most part things seem 'back to normal' where we get along pretty well & I've been trying to call her at least once a month to say hello & catch up. (IL's live in Fla)

I love my IL's b/c they're my IL's - but I've had much closer relationships w/ other families from ex BF's...but I think that's just they way they are....

I still have my own personal gripe w/DH's parents due to the fact that we went down to Fla the day after we got engaged (we got engaged on 12/25/08) & spent an enitre week (including New Year's) w/ them. While were we down there & up to the wedding never received an engagement card from them, plus while down in Fla - one of their neigbor's gave us an ornament to hang on our 1st married couple Christmas tree, and another of their neighbors had us over for cake & bought a bottle of Asti Spumante & toasted our future nuptuals. We got NOTHING from DH's parents which really hurt us considering we got more kindness from people we barely even knew. We would have been thrilled w/ even just a card...

Flash forward to right before the wedding - DH's parents & sister came up 2 days b4 the wedding & DH's cousin from Germany & his wife (whom we never met either before this) we all went to dinner at TGIF's in Islandia. Well DH & I got stuck paying the bill for EVERYONE & we were really pissed that DH's parents didnt even offer to help a little. Not to mention the next night was the RD - we knew that DH & I were going to end up paying for it (but secretly hoped DH's parents would do the right thing & at least offer to pay for all or some of it) - but they didnt & that hurt us too. I've tried to let it go b/c it's the past - cant change it, but I still think about it sometimes & feel like we got totally taken advantage of by DH's parents...ah well...

you can pick your nose but you cant pick your IL's...right?...lol

My relationship with them is fine. They are older and very simple people. I get along with both of them and they are super nice...I just kinda wish they were more 'WITH IT'.
Like they thought a great idea to tell us was when we got engaged they said we should get married at a Knights of Columbus or VFW and have our honeymoon in the Poconos. (nothing against anyone who got married there, thats just not my style). They don't go out, they just sit and watch TV and sleep.

On the other hand my family is SUPER loud, always out, fashionable, shopping, family oriented....they are just different.

I'm so blessed-they are WONDERFUL!!!

Has it changed? Now I call them mom and pop

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Posted by MirabellaNYC

I'm so blessed-they are WONDERFUL!!!

Has it changed? Now I call them mom and pop

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Same here

Ours is good, I think????

I mean, I get along with FIL really well...my MIL confuses me, at times I think we're great and then she will say or do something to make me think differently...IE wearing a white dress to my wedding...or telling me my dress looked just like DH's Ex's dress...I mean why? I like to try to think she just doesn't think before she talks but sometimes I think she just likes hurting my feelings?

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Posted by KittyGags

Ours is good, I think????

I mean, I get along with FIL really well...my MIL confuses me, at times I think we're great and then she will say or do something to make me think differently...IE wearing a white dress to my wedding...or telling me my dress looked just like DH's Ex's dress...I mean why? I like to try to think she just doesn't think before she talks but sometimes I think she just likes hurting my feelings?

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I hear ya on this...my MIL sometimes does the same things....she'll start out by saying how happy she is that her son is happy again, but then she'll go say something to DH like 'sometimes I wish Laurie was more like (ex-wife's name) - where she would call every day & come over.'

1st of all I dont even call my OWN mother every day - Im just not the type of person who does that. & 2nd of all we live in NY & they live in Fla...HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO...kind of hard to do a casual drop by every now & then....

At first, it was REALLY bad. Like really bad.

But now its fine, they dont bother me, I don't bother them.

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Posted by Tomlaur0808

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Posted by KittyGags

Ours is good, I think????

I mean, I get along with FIL really well...my MIL confuses me, at times I think we're great and then she will say or do something to make me think differently...IE wearing a white dress to my wedding...or telling me my dress looked just like DH's Ex's dress...I mean why? I like to try to think she just doesn't think before she talks but sometimes I think she just likes hurting my feelings?

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I hear ya on this...my MIL sometimes does the same things....she'll start out by saying how happy she is that her son is happy again, but then she'll go say something to DH like 'sometimes I wish Laurie was more like (ex-wife's name) - where she would call every day & come over.'

1st of all I dont even call my OWN mother every day - Im just not the type of person who does that. & 2nd of all we live in NY & they live in Fla...HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO...kind of hard to do a casual drop by every now & then....

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Oh neither of us visit or call enough...3 days yields the 'are you two ALIVE??!?!?!?!?' message...and god forbid there isn't a weekly visit...

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Posted by KittyGags

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Posted by Tomlaur0808

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Posted by KittyGags

Ours is good, I think????

I mean, I get along with FIL really well...my MIL confuses me, at times I think we're great and then she will say or do something to make me think differently...IE wearing a white dress to my wedding...or telling me my dress looked just like DH's Ex's dress...I mean why? I like to try to think she just doesn't think before she talks but sometimes I think she just likes hurting my feelings?

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I hear ya on this...my MIL sometimes does the same things....she'll start out by saying how happy she is that her son is happy again, but then she'll go say something to DH like 'sometimes I wish Laurie was more like (ex-wife's name) - where she would call every day & come over.'

1st of all I dont even call my OWN mother every day - Im just not the type of person who does that. & 2nd of all we live in NY & they live in Fla...HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO...kind of hard to do a casual drop by every now & then....

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Oh neither of us visit or call enough...3 days yields the 'are you two ALIVE??!?!?!?!?' message...and god forbid there isn't a weekly visit...

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You made me feel sooooooooooo much better - that I'm not the only one on the crazy-a$$ In-Law cruise all by myself....

My relationship with my InLaws I consider it to be very good! Before the wedding my FIL and I didn't talk much.. But ever since the wedding planning etc.. We talk at least twice a week.. My MIL and I have always had a great relationship.. We talk less now.. Because of our schedules.. But I love it like this..

Overall I can't complain.. We treat eachother with great respect! (Too bad many can't say the same!)

But I guess it changes from just being a GF to a Wife!

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Posted by Just Cindy

Great relationship since I dont speak chinese and she doesnt speak english. We do alot of hand gestures and such. We never argue its great. She is always trying to accommodate or help out whenever she can.

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You cra ck me up!! I'm sure many of use would wish to have a hand gesture relationship with one of our IL.. There are times they go on, on, on, on !! Don't have a shut up button!!

well DHs mom is passed and his Dad is nice but so not supportive and sometimes more like a child than DH - to give and example - he sent DH an email the other day saying he was hurt that we had not included him more in the wedding process and that we put him at the OUTSIDER table during the wedding, and he had to ask to be in wedding pics

1 - He sat with MY MOM and step dad - and had literally the best table in the whole place

2 - he never wanted to be included in anything - never paid for anything (granted he really does not have the $ resources to do so) and never asked anything! the whole time - did not even get a plane tix until a month before and when DH asked him to help him run errands a few days before said he couldn't bc he had already planned to go golfing w/Dh's brother - so that's my IL - ergh can you tell I'm currently agnry at him! and the picture thing was just soooo not true