1st Married Thanksgivng was a Disaster! :o( (VERY VERY LONG)

OMG Laurie I am sooooo sooo sorry you are going thru this


Wow i can see totally where you are comging from with your brothers GF and everything! Alot of it is prob because she hurt your brother in the begining, and you dont wanna see him settle for someone who is not good for him. All the wedding stuff was crazy and no matter what she should have ****** it up and sat whereever!! My DH was in his brothers wedding not so long ago and I basically was not with him the entire time, I drove myself to the chruch, to the hotel, took a shuttle to the RH with his cousins! its really not the end of the world if your not together 100% of the time!

As for thanksgiving! I dont understand what its like being affraid of dogs, cuz i love them big, and small, but im sure if you are afraid of them being around a big dog or even coming close to one is scary! but seriously your DH had every right to get upset!! if the dog is not use to being in a crate all day to begin with its hard, and umm yeah he has to go to the bathroom!!!!!!

I just feel like if you family is demanding you to respect your brothers GF they need to respect your HUSBAND!

Honeslty tho, wait a few days and after everything cools down a bit, call your mom and tell her why you were upset..and tell her that you were extremely hurt that she said she regrets you marrying your DH! beceause as much as family comes frist and blah blah blah! DH IS PART OF THE FAMILY! you love him and they HAVE to respect that..then let everything go! it only makes things worse to hold grudges! and yeah your family needs to let it go, as well as you DH.

Im sure things will get back to normal soon!

Try to feel better sweetie!!!

Aww Laurie I am so sorry this happened! It sounds like holiday misunderstandings to me...everyone is always so tense around the holidays (at least in my family!) that we are surprised if there isnt a blow out!

I agree with Jess in that you should definitely let the dust settle a bit and then talk with your family AND DH. Your family has to respect that DH is your family but DH also has to respect your family. I'm sure he didnt mean what he said about the dog the way it was taken, but sometimes (and I know this from upsetting Brads family) the way we say things seem fine to us but could easily upset someone else. Maybe that is something he will have to watch just as your parents/brother will have to watch the things that upset them when they are with you. I think the main thing here is that you want to be able to be with your family and your new husband. Tell them how much you love them ALL and how much this hurt you. They need to know that they put you in a really difficult position and that it can't happen again. It's not respecting YOU!

I'm sorry love...it will work out!

you are too sweet for this bs.....

but relax a day or two and then call your mom and talk it out and tell her how hurt you were that she left.... and take it form there...

good luck.. i think everythig will work out!

Laurie I am so sorry for you. At first I was wondering where you were going because i have to admit I broke DH's heart twice and we are married and happy. But when you started explaining her future behavior its really appalling what she did at your wedding.

I really hope everything blows over and that your family can be peaceful again.

aww Laurie! I'm so sorry hun!

Regarding your brother's GF: she sounds like she's completely immature. I'm certain your brother will discover in time that she's tearing your family apart. In the meantime, I'd try to make amends with him separately and avoid talking to him about her. Blood is thicker than water, but he needs to make up his own mind that she's not worth it. If you're forced to be in her presence at a family function, etc., let her comments and stupid behavior roll off your back. Don't indulge in her petty antics, because clearly she's attention starved.

In the case of your mom mentioning that she doesn't like your DH anymore and that she regrets that you married him, I have to say that's really hurtful and inexcusable. But she was likely saying that out of frustration in the heat of the moment and wanted someone to blame for the family fight. But that type of comment is something that you'll probably never forget. Wait a few days and talk to her about that. I'd start it off like, 'I keep hearing you say that over and over in my head. I'm hoping that you didn't mean it. I think if you really did have those feelings about DH, you wouldn't have been so supportive before and during the wedding. If something's changed, I'd like to know why. But the truth of the matter is we are married, and nothing is going to change that.'

Turn to DH for support. Can you talk to a pastor or priest? Maybe the person who married you and your DH?

Unfortunately, families fight. And the major holidays tend to bring out the best and worst in people. Try to enjoy your weekend and focus on what blessings you do have.

If you need to vent, FM me.

LAURIE!!!!!!!! NOOOO!!!!!

I'm so sorry to hear all of this NONSENSE!!!! I LOVES YOU MAMA!!!!!!! First of all, I promise you that as painful and just awful this all is right now, it WILL get better, and all these raw nerves and emotions will smooth and heal over. I'm SO sorry you have a crummy Bro's GF in your life. What a ding dong. I can't stand immature people that don't know how to behave in public! The behavior at your RD alone is pitiful! Just wait til you get your wedding video, she may be on tape with her little scene after your Bro's speech! That would be great! I'm evil, sorry I'm SO sorry that it went down like that with the pup. It's the SAME exact thing my DH would have said, just like that. They don't think sometimes, and people take offense, especially people like her. Your parents were just doing what they thought was right and standing up for her for some reason. I feel SO badly for your mom, and just everyone! I hope that you are able to just try and take today to reflect and relax. You will be able to talk to your parents and smooth things over in time. Please please FM me if you need anything at all. HUGS TO YOU!!!


ETA: I didn't even comment on your mom's words before. I'm SO sorry. That was extremely harsh...I feel like that was just way out of place! Very extreme. Does she have any history with DH that would make her already have a grudge or something against him? I'm SO sorry. My mom says very very mean and hurtful things all the time so I can really relate. I'm sure your mom didn't mean what she said Laurie.

im so sorry this happened to you

the gf sounds like just a flat out horrible person and not worth your time or dh's time.if u hav to be around her for a fmaily event i would be there just to show her that u r a mature person but after that i would just not make the effort to be around her

as for your moms comments,that was really harsh..im sure she said t out of frustration but to say that was out of ine,esp to two people who just got married.im sure in a few days things will have settled and be better but i would def mention to ur mom how hurt you are

i hope everything works out and please keep us posted



fm me anytime u want to talk

I'm so sorry to hear about all of this! Everyone's posts are pretty spot on. Things will calm down eventually, and that just means having some patience.

If you haven't already spoke with your mom about her comments, I would calmly do so. Just tell her that GF has not respected you ever and that you are hurt that she is put before you and DH. After that you just need to let some time pass and let everyone calm down. I know it's hard, but other than explain your feelings, there's nothing else you can do because it will just cause more fighting and that's not what anyone wants.

I bet you anything that GF does not last forever, and eventually you won't have to deal with her anymore. And I guarantee you, that one day your mother will deny saying what she said about DH and talk about how wonderful he is. My grandma threw my mom out of the house when she was 22 because she was dating my dad. She said he was evil, etc. Now they're still married, my grandma lives with them, and constantly says stuff like 'I don't know what I would do without your father. He is the best son-in-law ever.' Your mother probably just said it in the heat of the moment.

I hope things work out, just remember to stay calm and then they will follow suit.

I'm going to start by saying I am SOOOOO sorry this happened.

Then I'm going to say that your bro's g/f sounds like a complete witch and he needs to get RID of her FAST.

On the dog topic. I'm that person. I don't like animals of any kind at all near me or around me. I'm petrified and scared and have all but a full on panic attack if a dog walks up to me or tries to come near me. With that said, I know this is my issue and if people have large dogs I do the following
1. Ask them FIRST if it is okay with them to have the dog in a separate area so that at no point in time am I in contact.

2. Don't go

And I have experienced both sides of this. I have had people tell me ' Oh no problem so and so dog is super hyper and we'll just put him away'
and then I've had people say 'well this is their house too and we're not putting them away' which is FINE and their prerogative to do so but then I just don't visit and they know why.

I think your bro's g/f needs to understand that FIRST and FOREMOST this is HER issue and if its your house and your husband needs to take the dog out....tell her to step into the restroom and close the door and then when he is done...come back in. I do stuff like that all the time and I'm TOTALLY okay with it, it would have been better than causing the scene she did.
And now my 2 cents on the other part of the story.....WHY is your family overreacting ??? Were there any previous issues w/ DH and them? I just think for your family to sit there and say 'you shouldn't have married him' b/c he said something to bro's g/f is SUPER HARSH, STUPID, and TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR!!!!

Again....

FOR YOU!!!!!!!

FM or FB me if you need to talk

Oh no laurie...Im so sorry your dinner turned out that way.

This seems to be the case at almost ALL of my family functions. I have divorced and remarried parents...so they never get along. My best friend and my husband hate each other. My sister and her BF are a horrible couple who just had a baby together and its always drama with them.

It got to the point where I literally had to stand up and be like, listen..'I love you all. Your my family and its not fair to me to have to choose sides. Respect is a two way street.' Even thought they dont always listen, they at least try and get along for functions. Either that or we end up having to have 2 or 3 dinners just to keep the peace. I hate it...but thats my family

If I were you, I would definitly sit down and talk with the GF. Tell her exatly how your feeling and that your not trying to upset her but really?...grow up a bit. She definitly needs to hear that. And to also have you hear her out. I believe communication has AMAZING powers....

I really hope everything goes better for you next holiday. Dont let it discourage you...things always tend to work out ok. Maybe Christmas will turn it around for you and your family. Its right around the corner

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words. At least now I dont feel like I was the one who was wrong. I think I am going to wait until Monday afternoon to try & call my mom to talk to her & try to reason with her about her behavior & my brothers. I have my interview that was supposed to be this past Tues postponed until this coming Monday morning & I want a clear head when I go in - dont need any drama before that. Thank you again for taking me into your LIW arms and hugging me - I really need it & am grateful for all your love & support.

I am not sure what happened because I caught this post today after it was deleted. I hope you are feeling okay.