7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Original post by Teri

Jul 22, 2003 09:06 AM

Don't think I'm crazy - I have rarely attended church since I was confirmed at 14. But since I was married at my childhood church, I sometimes feel guilty not attending on a regular Sunday.

Since the wedding almost 10 months ago, I attended church once - on Christmas eve

I often say I'd like to go more often, but in reality, 2 days off a week is hardly enough to get all that I need to done, and I hate getting up early on Sundays! Pathetic excuse, I know. Even if I did go, it would be near impossible to drag DH along. He's not religious at all.

I do want to raise our kids in my religion, so maybe we'll all go on a regular basis once we have kids.

Does anyone else sometimes feel this way?

Sonicstef Posted: Jul 22, 2003 01:01 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

For people who attend church and participate and get something out of it..that is absoulutely wonderful. Whenever you can add a community of loving people and a sense of belonging to your life, that is a blessing.

But for me people like me, who see church as a farce at best, I think it actually weakens my beliefs in god. The concepts that surround most organized religion make me 'see' how ludicrious some of the accepted ideas are and make me question everything. And I honestly believe that God does not care if you go to church or not - provided I live a life i can be proud of.

shamma Posted: Jul 22, 2003 01:01 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Karen, I know I am truly blessed and I am happy that the good Lord lead me to have found this church home.

I know Church does not save people, living your life right and giving your life to the Lord and living for him does. I am not trying to convert anyone or trying to influence people to go to church, but going to church and fellowshipping with other believers is apart of your growth, just like reading your Bible and praying is apart of your spritual growth.

The church is only a building. Service can be held in a tent, under a tree at someone's home etc. Fellowshipping with others is important.

I always say children lean more from what we do more than from what we say. Start going to church now, it will be so much easier to go when the kids come, b/c I am sure those same excuses will be there and there will probably be even more.

Sonicstef Posted: Jul 22, 2003 01:03 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Well said Shamma

VickiC Posted: Jul 22, 2003 01:05 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

I am a fully practicing Catholic in the respect that I go to church every Sunday and major holy day (don't forget, I run the Children's Choir!! ).

There are certain things among the Catholic church and faith that I do not agree with however, and so I choose to overlook that portion. For instance, I really do not believe in confession, so I don't go. I believe that I can tell God my sins and be forgiven by him just as well as a priest can. Besides, it's not like I'm out there committing all these heinous acts, it's more like I fibbed to my boss about why I needed to leave 30 minutes early on Friday.

I go to my church and am active in it because of the people who were there when I got involved, and now because of my Children's Choir. It makes me feel good to do something for the kids, and hopefully help them to continue to go to mass when they are older and participate, as I do now. I like to think that I am setting some sort of an example for them, and I know they love to come and sing with me on a Sunday morning. I truly believe that if I wasn't active in Church, I would still go because I do find peace during mass.

I agree with the statement that it's not just about a person going to mass every week that makes them a good person. It's about how you act and treat others in your life, and treating others with as much respect as you want back from them.

Lisa Rose Posted: Jul 22, 2003 01:06 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Amen!!

shamma Posted: Jul 22, 2003 01:19 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

I never did understand the thing about Catholic confession and I had asked someone about it and they told me that you tell the priest and he tells God for you

Everyone has the same access to God and you do not need any special permission or need to go to him with any form or fashion, talking to God should be like a conversation. The priest can talk to God and so can you. Why would I feel better confessing to MAN who judges, where I can have direct contact with God and tell him and feel so much better and know I am not being judged.

Man cannot give forgiveness to anyone for God
and everyone needs to go to God for themselves not thru anyone person. We are all responsible for what we do and if we did wrong we face up to it by telling it to God ourselves not thru a priest.

Latina511 Posted: Jul 22, 2003 01:29 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

I am with Shamma!!!!

Sonicstef Posted: Jul 22, 2003 01:53 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Shamma: That is just one of the many confusing principles of the Catholic religion. Dont even get me started on the Pope!

alina Posted: Jul 22, 2003 02:13 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

I am 100% Unitarian Universalist (whatever that means)...

I am glad we didn't get married in the synagogue, especially since niether I nor DH believe in G-d. For all I cared, a civil ceremony would have sufficed, but parents insisted on a Chuppa...

jennbaby Posted: Jul 22, 2003 02:16 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Shamma, although I am Catholic, 100%, and disagree with alot of views on this thread, well said.

shamma Posted: Jul 22, 2003 02:18 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

See that is what I like about a good discussion, we can all share our OPINIONS, disagree but still keep it on the topic.

ILT1221 Posted: Jul 22, 2003 02:35 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

I want to add to what Shamma said.

I don't go to church. I go to a building where I feel comfortable talking to God and thanking him for all he has done. I was never religious..my mom made me do confirmation, communion etc. etc. it was the traditional thing to do.

In my adulthood I looked for something more and discovered a relationship with the Lord. It's sort of like having a Father I just never called and suddenly realizing he was my there for me all along.

So to answer the question don't feel guilty about going to church especially if you feel church is an obligation. No need to feel guilty at all. What's more important is how is your relationship with God, is it good is it bad...does it need improvement. And if it needs improvement church is a good place to start for guidance. Hope this helps.

Teri Posted: Jul 22, 2003 04:20 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Yes, I was going to comment earlier that this can be such a touchy, emotional subject for many, yet we can still add our viewpoints without anyone getting insulted, defensive, etc. How nice!

edited to add: Thank you everyone for responding

Lisa Rose Posted: Jul 22, 2003 04:22 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

Great discussion!!

What should we discuss tomorrow??

Jordan Posted: Jul 22, 2003 04:25 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed reading everyone's responses...it was a really good discussion.

JennRenee Posted: Jul 22, 2003 04:28 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

What a mature, respectful conversation!

For the record, I'm Catholic, although I sometimes make up my own rules as I go along.

I took the quiz, which told me I'm 100% Liberal Christian (or something like that... I can't remember exactly).

jenny11.9 Posted: Jul 22, 2003 04:30 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

what a mature group we are! I am so proud of our newlyweds!!! It's probably because we have all had to make a million compromises to our baby husbands!!!!!

Hm discussion for tomorrow....let's get a good one going!

michele31 Posted: Jul 22, 2003 04:34 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

While I personally do not belief in confession, I think that many people who have truly committed horrible acts, or people who feel overwhelming guilt over something they did and are now sorry for them feel a 'lightening' when a person that they can hear tells them that it is okay and that God forgives them.
I think each person needs to feel God in his/her heart because there are tons of people in Church who go once a week but lie, cheat, steal, etc..all week long. And don't even get me started on people who 'kill' in the name of God- can there be a worse thing!
Organized religion is more about people with similar faiths coming together and has turned into a HUGE corporate industry. That is where I have a problem. I mean, when a women like Mother Theresa is given jewels she sells them and uses the money to feed child, when my local Priest is given a Lexus he drives it happily! I am also not a fan of the way women are treated in many organized religious- funny how the rules are usually stricter in terms of birth control etc...- who does that effect more? I believe in Jesus and his teachings and I live my life in a good way trying my best to be a good person.

Cira Posted: Jul 22, 2003 04:52 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

I came out 100% Liberal Christian/Protestant and I knew that I would. Quaker was next.

Shamma, I envy your relationship with your Church. Even though I was raised Catholic, I don't believe in a lot of beliefs of the Catholic Church. So, no matter what, I just can't overlook them and feel truly comfortable. I know that just being in Church should bring me peace, but when the priest is ranting about something that I don't believe in, it's so hard.

One of which is confession, another is divorce, and another is getting married outside of a Church. I think a lot of you know my position on that from previous threads ... similar to Karen's viewpoint.

But it's hard to change, isn't it? Especially when your family is still that same religion and it's all you've ever known. Sometimes I just want to ... and sometimes, I just don't know. I want to instill my beliefs to my children, but how do I tell them no you don't have to confess to a priest when religion school teaches them something entirely different.

shamma Posted: Jul 22, 2003 05:08 PM

Re: 7/22 - QOTD: Church/religious weddings: Does anyone else sometimes feel guilty not attending church after the wedding?

The funny thing is I was never Pentecostal, I was Baptist, which I used to go to with my g-ma religously. When I got to HS I started going with my GF to her church and loved it, and I never turned back. I guess you do have to find what works for you.