FMIL and I have a very different taste, with regard to house decor/clothing and to some degree jewelry... Yet, she keeps on buying or having someone make us all these house things, that I just go 'eeek' in my mind... Since we now live in a tiny apt, she keeps all of those wonderful gifts in her house as storage... How can I gently break it to her that I would rather not receive any decorating items? Is there a way? Or do I just accept it,and hope she forgets about them when the time for house comes? Or if she remembers, then I stick them into my storage space? I dont want to offend her, and FH is not good at dealing with such 'hairy' situations. He is usually blunt and straight to the point, and could hurt her more with how he says it than if I were to say it... Anyone in my shoes? I already have 2 light switches, 2 pillow cases of such a size that I don't have pillows for them, and FMIL coworker who is coming to the wedding has knit a blanket for us of great quality, but eeeky color!!! What do I do!!! Never mind, after combining households, we have enough blankets for the whole US army!!!
NovemberSue
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Re: A polite way of saying 'No'
Hmmm, thats a tough one. She is making you these things and its very sweet. Unfortunately its not your taste. I would just say thank you and not say anything. You don't want to hurt her feelings. She will notice that the things she made you aren't displayed or put up anywhere and will get the hint. You can tell her things that you like in conversation so she has a good idea for the future if she plans on making you something.You could say something like ' I love things with lighthouses' or 'I was thinking of making a flower arrangement for this room with the colors mauve and blue just like the living room.'
Sonicstef
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Re: A polite way of saying 'No'
I am sort of in the same boat although we laid out our issues a long time ago.
In short, you should not say anything. This is a message that should come from her son, not her future daughter in law.
I do think anyone would be offended if they took time and money to give you a gift and then you stored it away somewhere. So better to break it to her now.
That being said, this WILL HURT HER FEELINGs. There really is no way to say 'thanks but no thanks' without her reading between the lines and feeling like you dont approve of her tastes. But its better she knows now.
Scoop
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Re: A polite way of saying 'No'
I would accept them graciously and display them when she comes over. I do this all the time because I don't have the strength or the heart to tell people that I don't like their gifts.
alina
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Re: A polite way of saying 'No'
I am going to bump this, in hopes that someone has a solution for me Oh has nobody else been in these shoes?
What-Now
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Re: A polite way of saying 'No'
LOL! Alina, i think blankets are big in Russian families! I can not tell you how many bed spreads my mom bought us and returned, before she realized that I just don't want one! She thinks that every respectable home needs to have a bed spread wthat matches the bedroom curtains!
As far as your problem goes, i actually was in your shoes, but not exactly, becasue it was my mom who was buying all those things for our house. It was much easier, because I just asked her not do do it anymore, unless she knows for Sure i need something, and in what color! we had a sweet little talk and everything was settled! Uhhh, mom!
May be you can drop hints! 'Oh I just love our new bedroom wall color! I am so glad we went with light green! and it's such an easy color to match when buying lamp shades and blankets! Yes, i think i am going to go with all white bed linen! ' If you let you Fh say somethign I think you FMIL might get upset since you say he is not very gracful about having 'small talks'!
Hopefully she will cool of after a while! Now she feels like there is an 'extra' home for her to 'decorate'! it's all out of LOVE!
But you can probably say something to her about her co-worker, cause she will not be so sensitive about that!
Sorry, couldn't be more help! Hang in there!
Karen H
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Re: A polite way of saying 'No'
Since you're still in an apartment, perhaps next time she gives you something you could be appreciative but also suggest that since you're not in a house yet you'd prefer not to receive gifts for the home, since you don't yet know the colors or style. That may give you some time to feel more comfortable about dealing with the real situation which is your different tastes.
You could then start laying the groundwork through conversations about how you are so looking forward to decorating your own home in your own style. Perhaps you could even take her shopping with you sometime if you're close and get along. You could point out what you like, and when she suggests something you could say it's not really your style before she buys it. That way, perhaps she'll begin to understand how you differ in taste.
Right now, she assumes you love everything because you haven't told her otherwise.
