Hi- I need a little advice...(I also posted on NWR) - A little background first- I've been married almost a year and a half now. We have a great relationship and get along well. The problem is probably going to sound silly - He is totally obsessed with his job!! All he does is spend his time on the computer (he is a computer guy). He complains almost everyday how miserable he is and how he needs another job, although I am not sure if any job will make him happy. It's hard for me to hear this all the time, and he takes it out on me as well. I totally understand that he does not have to give me all of his time or attention, I am very understanding b/c I am a teacher and bring work home with me so of course I have things to do some nights too. But it is upsetting to feel like a 2nd priority all the time. He never has any time for me. :( I am not sure what else to do. I have spoken with him so many times about it. :( Does anyone have any advice for me? TIA
suven
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Re: Advice needed please
well, if you've already spoken to him and it hasn't helped, do you think counseling might work?
J.Lo24
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Re: Advice needed please
Maybe he can allot a specific time frame he will be spending on the computer each night. This way it will keep him on track with his project/work and you will know when to expect to have his attention everyday. You can get your things accomplished within the same time period and then have time with one another.
shamrock12472
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Re: Advice needed please
I think with men especially, they define their worth on what they do and how much money they make. It becomes a definition with them. It sounds like he doesn't know how to let it go and leave work at work. I would try coming up with some very specific things for you two to do together that he would enjoy. Such as, if he enjoys the water or being outside, plan a boat ride down Nissaquegue river.
WeddingsRock
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Re: Advice needed please
My DH is a computer geek as well. We have been married over 3 years. I feel that you just need to find your groove. When he is on the computer, I use that time to catch up on stuff I taped or phone calls. To be honest, I love that down time.
However, I have never been the type of person who needs constant attention. That is why we work. We always make sure that dinner is at least an hour long and we talk without the t.v. or radio. We also spend Saturday morning just lying around the house.
All I can tell you is to find what works. Good Luck!
