...if your DH's new hobby was jujitsu and he came home last week with scraped, mat-burned, knees and feet, a fat lip, a sprained neck and now tonight with a black eye. I mean HUGE black eye, (swollen almost to the point of completely shut). I am trying to be supportive and not say anything controlling, but I am really upset that this is what he chooses to do with his spare time. I was very sympathetic tonight and put ice on it for him, I adjusted and did acupuncture on his neck all last week....but it's wearing on me bc part of me thinks this is completely unnecessary and it makes me want to scream don't do this anymore!!! Or at least get better at it Advice!!!
IrishBrideASmiling
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Re: Advice needed...What would you do....
How long has he been doing it? Is he new to it and maybe all the pain just hasnt hit him yet? Give it some time, im sure he will get sick and tired of getting beat up!
If this has been going on for awhile, I would say something, but in a sweet way not a confrontational way, KWIM?
grkbarbie
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Re: Advice needed...What would you do....
just tie him to a pole in Wyandanch at night..
i wouldve bished. Youre a better woman than I am..thats for sure
LadyDuda81509
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Re: Advice needed...What would you do....
oh my goodness!! does he enjoy it that much?? i never get stuff like that, DH is obsessed with UFC and MMA, and im like how does one enjoy getting hit over and over??!
i would maybe just talk to him and see if he is really enjoying it. If this is a new hobby, maybe he will get over it? i know DH gets into things and swears by it for a little bit, and then moves on. or if he doesnt get over it, maybe he will just get better and the person he is fighting will look like him with the black eye..
either way i would voice your concerns with him! not telling him not to do it anymore, but saying umm im worried!
alli3131
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Re: Advice needed...What would you do....
I would get him an ice pack and tell him to have fun next time!!!!!
stinenandy2010
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Re: Advice needed...What would you do....
I would just ask him nicely if things will get better, or is this how he will come home every week. I think its understandable to voice your concerns but without seeming controlling. I wouldn't want my DH coming home like that!
AugustBridein09
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Re: Advice needed...What would you do....
I would get mad/sad and probably cry until DH agreed he wouldn't go anymore....or at least not have any obvious bodily harm when he walked in the door.
caper24
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Re: Advice needed...What would you do....
Posted by grkbarbie
just tie him to a pole in Wyandanch at night..
i wouldve bished. Youre a better woman than I am..thats for sure
Barb believe me I am thinking about it!
Thanks for the advice everyone...Krissy and Jess.....He only started 2 weeks ago I know maybe it's just a phase he is going through, so I am hoping it will be over soon. I am just waiting it out. I made sure he KNEW last night that I was NOT HAPPY with his eye. I was very understanding and loving, but I told him I really wish he would find something else......we will see.....
geegee827
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Re: Advice needed...What would you do....
I think I would tell him that if he likes being beaten up that much - I'd do it to him!!!
I would probably freak out on him - you're way more patient than I am.
jeanettelovesjason
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Re: Advice needed...What would you do....
I know its hard to see your DH like this cause if it were my DH I wouldnt like to see all the cuts and bruises either but i wouldnt stop him. My DH loves UFC fighting and would love to do that. I think it just makes them feel like a man and its a good workout! I wouldnt worry to much Im sure he'll get better and come home less beaten up for sure
PoppedInASnap
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Re: Advice needed...What would you do....
tell him you will purchase a pole for your bedroom....
IF he stops....
because you want tobe able to have access to his special parts...
But on a serious note it may just be something he has to get out of his system. Sit down with him and express how lovely his face is and how you fear him breaking something permanantly...and although you think scars on men are hot... that you would rather if he would keep his features as is....
<3
chicky724
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Re: Advice needed...What would you do....
Hahah wasn’t that an episode of Friends??
DH used to play ice hockey a lot and would come home with various injuries… eventually he decided that as much as he liked playing, he was sick of getting hurt all the time so he stopped. Maybe your DH will realize that too!
gina409
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Re: Advice needed...What would you do....
one of my best friends fiance does that..i wonder if they know each other?
anyways..my thoughts are if he loves it,even though it ***** he can get hurt h will prob be miserable if he stops
coldasice217
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Re: Advice needed...What would you do....
OK, well, I am kind of in the same position as you, and this is what I've found is the only thing that will get them to stop...
He has to hurt himself, BADLY. Then he'll be forced to stop.
The day before Easter, DH badly sprained his ankle playing hockey. Was just as bad as it could be without it being broken. He couldn't walk, had to use crutches, was swollen and in pain for weeks...he can't play for a month now. I never liked him playing hockey, because it would kill our entire Saturday, and he'd get hurt. But this was the worst time. So now he's been forced not to play, and since he can bike (low impact), he's been doing that instead...and he's even saying that even though his month is just about up, he realizes he can't run yet, so isn't going to play for quite a while longer. Luckily, he has a short attention span, and likes a lot of hobbies, so the time away from it maybe made him loose interest and focus on something else, like the biking.
So unfortunately, my advice is that you just have to let him do it, and if he gets hurts badly enough, he'll come to his senses and stop. Otherwise, you can't force him to stop, because they won't. Not unless they're severely hurt and literally CAN'T do it.
bridezilla2b
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Re: Advice needed...What would you do....
THE FIRST RULE ABOUT FIGHT CLUB ... IS NOBODY TALKS ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!!!
MrsInglima
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Re: Advice needed...What would you do....
That's rough. My DH really wants to learn some kind of karate too, and if he came home like that, I'd feel bad, but considering I play soccer and get beat up a lot (tons of brusies on my legs, and in the last year I've gotten a concussion and broken my arm) I can't say anything. If DH told me to stop playing I'd be so incredibly angry with him and since I enjoy it so much I would never listen to him anyway.
If you DH likes it, he likes it and there's not much you can do to change his mind. I'd tell him to be careful and express your concern, but you don't want to control him and tell him to stop either otherwise he'll be angry and resentful. Just tell him to be careful. He'll either get better or get sick of being beaten up and quit. Good luck!
MrsCM
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Re: Advice needed...What would you do....
I've been thinking about this. I'd let him go a few more times and then tell him you aren't 'fixing him' if he continues to deliberately partake in an activity that leaves him injured. Maybe then he'll get the message.
Or just lock him out of the house
chicky724
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Re: Advice needed...What would you do....
Posted by bridezilla2b
THE FIRST RULE ABOUT FIGHT CLUB ... IS NOBODY TALKS ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!!!
This really made me laugh.
MrsDtoBe09
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Re: Advice needed...What would you do....
DH plays softball every weekend from February until November and he's constantly coming home bruised and scraped. He will never stop playing and even though it's painful to see him hurt all the time, I would never ask him to. Maybe your DH is just going to be banged up until he gets good at his new hobby. Boys need something to keep themselves busy, I wouldn't bother him about this one!
