A friend of mine is getting married in one month, her shower is next week. Now she was my MOH at my wedding but she was chosen before she met her soon to be husband, she completely changed after meeting him and I regretted my decision to choose her as my MOH but left it alone bc it was just one day and I really know who's important in my life.
Anyway, she didnt help plan my bachelorette AT ALL, in fact, she cancelled on me 3 hours before we were getting together the day of my bachelorette party claiming she was 'sick'.
I'm one of her MOHs....I really don't know why, I don't even want to do it, but I'm doing it bc she did it for me and I'm not gonna be the bad one that backs out on her.
So her niece calls me today, she's the MOH and I'm the Matron of Honor for this fiasco of a wedding and she tells me that she spoke to my friend and she said that 'we' (me and the niece) have to plan her bachelorette party!
I flipped out, the niece knows how she didn't help, didn't offer to help, didn't show up to mine, etc. I told the niece not to even mention her bachelorette party to me bc not only am I not planning it, but I'm not going to it!
Am I being a b*tch? or would you do the same? I am so done with this girl, I can't wait for this wedding to be over bc there isn't even a friendship there, I'm going through the motions just to save face at this point
LadyDuda81509
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Re: Am I being a b*tch or am I right for doing this?
I dont think you are being a b*tch at all, because i sure as hell know what its like to be screwed over by friends! one of my bm's has just stopped speaking to me since the wedding without even an explanation! like wedding day, my friend, the day after, not speaking to me! cuz lord knows what i did at my wedding that could have gotten her soo mad at me!
but knowing myself, i would prob do it, just cuz i know that im the better person, and altho she doesnt derserve it, i wouldnt wanna screw someone ever even tho they screwed me.
so IMO i would just do it. show her how much better of a friend you are to her than she was for you!
but in then end. if you dont want any part of it, i wouldnt think you are a bad person either! its very justified. and this girl should not be pissed at all because she did the same thing.
MaggieLuvsJoe
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Re: Am I being a b*tch or am I right for doing this?
Thanks for responding.
I feel like I'm being the better person by going along with her shower and wedding when in reality I want to tell her to go scratch lolll I draw the line at the bachelorette party!
Cacarina
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Re: Am I being a b*tch or am I right for doing this?
I can't believe she actually bailed on your bachelorette party saying she was sick. She was your MOH!!!! That is crazy to me.
Honestly, be the better person and GO to the bachelorette party, but refuse to plan it or put in any more money than the other girls. This girl sounds pretty awful and I would be DONE with her after the wedding. But since you accepted her MOH request, you should do all the things a MOH should do. Don't stoop to her level!
gina409
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Re: Am I being a b*tch or am I right for doing this?
hmmm this is tough
part of me says screw her but if i was still going to be in the wedding i would just save myself the headache and help out
but after i thre her one hell of a b-party i would say something to her like..wow so this is what a moh does at a b-party..or wish i woould have done this for me
MaggieLuvsJoe
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Re: Am I being a b*tch or am I right for doing this?
Posted by Cacarina
I can't believe she actually bailed on your bachelorette party saying she was sick. She was your MOH!!!! That is crazy to me.
Honestly, be the better person and GO to the bachelorette party, but refuse to plan it or put in any more money than the other girls. This girl sounds pretty awful and I would be DONE with her after the wedding. But since you accepted her MOH request, you should do all the things a MOH should do. Don't stoop to her level!
Yup...pretty crazy sh*t!! My entire BP, friends and sisters in law were in shock but made sure to make my bachelorette party even better.
Oh and to top things off, she had told my sister in law she would take care of all the little bachelorette things, like crown, veil, etc...and since she didn't show, one of my aunts ran to party city at the last minute and picked up a couple of things for me.
meara
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Re: Am I being a b*tch or am I right for doing this?
wow that's hard bc I understand why you said you would be her MOH and also why you wouldn't want to do those things but it's hard bc the MOH should. . so of course SHE should have done it for you. .. maybe you could plan it and not show up and stick her with the bill!!
I think honestly you should just say that you feel that if you plan it, you won't do a good job bc she did nothing for you and you will just resent it and make it crappy so you feel that it's really better that someone else do it so she can get what brides actually deserve. . even if in her case that's really just a kick in the a**
marriedinmontauk
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Re: Am I being a b*tch or am I right for doing this?
you are in a tough position. I guess I would help plan the most simple, low cost, no hassle party you can. What is she going to do, complain?
luvabul
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Re: Am I being a b*tch or am I right for doing this?
i probably wouldnt do it either...my hearts not that big and forgiving but was she really even sick? I mean if she really did come down with some nasty food virus...or had a fever of 103 cant blame here...but even if that was the case...now that i think about it...she couldve helped plan ur party all along or contributed to it !
MLAngelo
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Re: Am I being a b*tch or am I right for doing this?
If you took the job of the MOH just because she did a **** job, I don't think you should too. If your going to stand up and say I'm not going then you probably should have just not taken the job at all. I understand why you want to be that way, but its not really fair to her niece. I would try to be the bigger person.
glenisland09
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Re: Am I being a b*tch or am I right for doing this?
Posted by marriedinmontauk
you are in a tough position. I guess I would help plan the most simple, low cost, no hassle party you can. What is she going to do, complain?
I'd totally do the above. I'd feel bad for the poor niece who seems like she can't handle the responsibility herself, so I'd help her plan a SIMPLE low hassle party.
but after the wedding.. write that loser girl off!!!!
good luck mag!!
MaggieLuvsJoe
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Re: Am I being a b*tch or am I right for doing this?
Posted by MLAngelo
If you took the job of the MOH just because she did a **** job, I don't think you should too. If your going to stand up and say I'm not going then you probably should have just not taken the job at all. I understand why you want to be that way, but its not really fair to her niece. I would try to be the bigger person.
I totally get what ur saying, unfortunately I agreed to be her MOH before she screwed me over and I'm not the type to leave someone hanging so I'm going through with standing up for her at the bridal shower and wedding (like she did for me). The niece doesnt really care about planning the bachelorette bc it will be something small anyway, I just don't feel like I should go out of my way for her when she didn't do it for me....If it was anyone else I would bite the bullet and just do it, but she's pushed way too many buttons and seriously doesn't deserve it!!
