am i being a snot

Not at all...first of all the scheduling is bad 2nd it
expensive and third would they come to your baby shower? just stand your ground and tell MIL that you can't go...why is she pressuring you? Your doing your part by giving a nice gift. Dont stress it

nope not at all!!

A #1 - its not like they live close where you could MAYBE suuck it up and go there for a litle then leave

and

B #2 - doesnt sound like they make much of an effort to go to the things you plan

i think sending a nice gift is fine!!

Its alot of traveling and very expensive to do so. Its a surprise so you cant even make a trip out of it. I wouldnt go. I would send a very nice gift. Make a trip out there with your DH when the baby is born. Thats more important.

No one should hold it against you for not attending. Its a little ridiculous.

I think its nice that you are going to send a gift- maybe you can make plans to go down there after the baby is born- afterall the baby is your neice/nephew and myabe if you guys are the bigger people your bil will catch on

I dont think its bad that you dont want to go for the shower

Is there any way u could fly down the day before and stay in a hotel (so u don't feel like it's such a short trip)?

I probably would suck it up and go....you know, try to be the bigger person (as difficult as it is).

A baby shower for the 1st baby is usually a big deal. If nothing else, it may mean a lot to your MIL if u go.

You are not being a snot.

Stand your ground and don't go.
IF your SIL and BIL were very close to you, of course you should go, but in this case, it is really out of your way to travel to a party that will be maybe 4 hours long.

If MIL persists, you can tell her that both time and money are tight. Sending a gift is the way it will have to be.
Save the personal visit for the christening/baptism/baby naming, whatever will take place after the baby is born.

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Posted by skinny237

Is there any way u could fly down the day before and stay in a hotel (so u don't feel like it's such a short trip)?

I probably would suck it up and go....you know, try to be the bigger person (as difficult as it is).

A baby shower for the 1st baby is usually a big deal. If nothing else, it may mean a lot to your MIL if u go.

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I know if def. would mean a lot to MIL if I attended, and part of me wants to just because I am really (honestly) not spiteful like that and they done enough to warranty such an attitude from us.. if i flew in the night before and stayed at a hotel, everything including the gift would cost me about $800 - and I am very relunctant in dropping cash like that right now..

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Posted by futuremrsfab

I think its nice that you are going to send a gift- maybe you can make plans to go down there after the baby is born- afterall the baby is your neice/nephew and myabe if you guys are the bigger people your bil will catch on

I dont think its bad that you dont want to go for the shower

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that is the plan.. hopefully will stick if MIL would stop pestering DH about convincing me..

I do not think so, but I know my mom would give me a hard time also and try to make me go so I understand your position.

Fair is fair...they couldnt make your events, they should understand, plus you would have to leave DH.

PIcture it...would she FLY to YOU and leave her DH?

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Posted by lizzie217

PIcture it...would she FLY to YOU and leave her DH?

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not even if i offered her first class tickets!

i love you girls..

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Posted by AR31

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Posted by lizzie217

PIcture it...would she FLY to YOU and leave her DH?

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not even if i offered her first class tickets!

i love you girls..

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then dont stress!

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Posted by AR31

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Posted by skinny237

Is there any way u could fly down the day before and stay in a hotel (so u don't feel like it's such a short trip)?

I probably would suck it up and go....you know, try to be the bigger person (as difficult as it is).

A baby shower for the 1st baby is usually a big deal. If nothing else, it may mean a lot to your MIL if u go.

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I know if def. would mean a lot to MIL if I attended, and part of me wants to just because I am really (honestly) not spiteful like that and they done enough to warranty such an attitude from us.. if i flew in the night before and stayed at a hotel, everything including the gift would cost me about $800 - and I am very relunctant in dropping cash like that right now..

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$800 is a lot of money. If u could get a flight for like $200, then maybe you could do it.

Don't go. Send a 'special' gift.

DON'T FEEL BAD!