Am I cheap???

I'm in a wedding this weekend. The friend who is getting married was also in my wedding. When she came to my wedding she gave me 125.00 for her and her boyfriend. Should I give back the same to her? I feel soooo cheap! When she gave me my envelope at my wedding she said...I wish I could have given more but I had to pay for the dress. HELLO??? I'm paying for the dress, the shoes and part of the shower. Plus hair and makeup. What do you think girls...be cheap or what??? What would you give??

Re: Am I cheap???

I would give a gift I am comfortable giving as long as I could afford it. As much as I would want to give what I got, it would make me uncomfortable to give less then I normally would at other times.

Re: Am I cheap???

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Posted by ChristineC68

I would give a gift I am comfortable giving as long as I could afford it. As much as I would want to give what I got, it would make me uncomfortable to give less then I normally would at other times.

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Well said, same here...

Re: Am I cheap???

Personally, I would give her the same. Like you said you are paying for the dress, shoes, hair etc.....and could use the same reasoning she need - even if you are in a position to do more - I wouldn't.

JMO.

Re: Am I cheap???

I have mixed feelings about this. I would SOOO want to give back the $125, but I don't know if I could do it. Maybe e a little more generous and give more than what she gave, but a little less than you would normally give.

Re: Am I cheap???

I would give $150. If I gave someone$125 and then they gave me $300 I would feel so bad that I didn't give enough.

Re: Am I cheap???

I would give the same.

Re: Am I cheap???

I give what I can afford. My friend came to my wedding and gave me $200. I gave her $250 when I went to hers cause thats what I wanted to give.

Re: Am I cheap???

I'd give the same!

edited to add: only because you have the same expenses to put out.

it's weird though. for DH's cousin's wedding 2 years ago, we were both in college and only working part time. We gave $200.

We just got married. The cousin now runs a VERY successful business, and gave back the same amount.

We just thought it was weird. At the time, that $200 was like $1,000,000 to us. Now, for the cousin, $200 is like $1.00

Re: Am I cheap???

I would give the same. I would be afraid that giving her more than what she gave me would make her feel bad about her gift to me. Or it would seem like I was hinting that her gift should have been bigger, or that I'm showing up her gift by giving more. I know I would feel bad.

Re: Am I cheap???

what would you give if she had gotten married first?
Then give her that and consol yourself with the fact that you are not a catty person. And then forget about it and enjoy the night

Re: Am I cheap???

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Posted by Stefanie

I'm in a wedding this weekend. The friend who is getting married was also in my wedding. When she came to my wedding she gave me 125.00 for her and her boyfriend. Should I give back the same to her? I feel soooo cheap! When she gave me my envelope at my wedding she said...I wish I could have given more but I had to pay for the dress. HELLO??? I'm paying for the dress, the shoes and part of the shower. Plus hair and makeup. What do you think girls...be cheap or what??? What would you give??

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I hate to say it, because I would feel the same way as you about the cheap thing,..but I would give her what she gave you...IMO. A few people gave me what I def. would not have given them and I have their weddings coming up and I'm giving them the same amount right back.

Re: Am I cheap???

I had 3 weddings to attend right after mine. I gave people what they gave us because I did not want it to seem like I was showing them up by giving more. I included a small additional personal gift for each person (ex. honeymoon album) as well. For me that was the best way to go.

Re: Am I cheap???

no your not cheap and me personally, i would give what they gave you!! but thats just how i am, i believe you get what you give. if u give me cheap, i give u cheap!!

Re: Am I cheap???

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Posted by LFitzy79

what would you give if she had gotten married first?
Then give her that and consol yourself with the fact that you are not a catty person. And then forget about it and enjoy the night

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Great way to think about it. Very well said.
Good luck

Re: Am I cheap???

i say up it to 140

Re: Am I cheap???

Maybe she was just in the point of her life that she couldn't give that much. Not saying you should give her a lot but give what you would have given if you didnt know how much she gave you!

Re: Am I cheap???

I would give the same...

Re: Am I cheap???

Thanks to all who responded. I ended up giving 150.00.

The wedding was beautiful and definately cost a lot of money. I took everyone's advice and thought to myself, I'm going to have tons of things to pay for, especially in June when I'm due.

So thanks again girls...you made my decision easier!!