Any step-moms out there? (Sorry long)
I need help with a situation. My SD is making her communion in April DH wants to have a huge party at our house for her following the mass.
The issue here is that when it's a combined event, meaning our family and her mother's side, it is super uncomfortable. I feel we should have our own party and let her mother do her own thing in an effort for everyone to be able to enjoy the celebration. In addition, a house party does not have a set end time, so it's not like I'm guaranteed 3 hours of weirdness and then Iits over.
His point is that we should all be together for the sake of SD but 1. She's not stupid. She knows the deal and I don't think she is comfortable when we are all together either and 2. I don't think its appropriate to be acting like a psuedo family when that's not the case at all. I don't think it's fair to be giving this kid an impression that in reality does not exist.
The second issue is who to invite. If she were my kid, I would invite my entire family and all of my friends. But in this case, if we do a combined party, I would never want to expose my family or my friends to that. We are very different people.
If we don't do a combined party, I don't want to invite my friends. My SD has always been weird to my friends and I don't see why I should invite my friends and make them feel obligated to give a kid a gift who is blatantly rude to them. My mother thinks I should invite everyone regardless because when I have my own kids, my SD shouldn't feel like she got the shaft.
I agree with that and I would never want her to feel like she was less important. I hate these situations with such a passion. It makes things so difficult that should normally be fun occasions.
So points to address:
1. Would you do a combined party or separate?
2. Who would you invite?
sorry this is long but it's definitely a bone of contention at home and I wanted to see if I'm being unreasonable.
The issue here is that when it's a combined event, meaning our family and her mother's side, it is super uncomfortable. I feel we should have our own party and let her mother do her own thing in an effort for everyone to be able to enjoy the celebration. In addition, a house party does not have a set end time, so it's not like I'm guaranteed 3 hours of weirdness and then Iits over.
His point is that we should all be together for the sake of SD but 1. She's not stupid. She knows the deal and I don't think she is comfortable when we are all together either and 2. I don't think its appropriate to be acting like a psuedo family when that's not the case at all. I don't think it's fair to be giving this kid an impression that in reality does not exist.
The second issue is who to invite. If she were my kid, I would invite my entire family and all of my friends. But in this case, if we do a combined party, I would never want to expose my family or my friends to that. We are very different people.
If we don't do a combined party, I don't want to invite my friends. My SD has always been weird to my friends and I don't see why I should invite my friends and make them feel obligated to give a kid a gift who is blatantly rude to them. My mother thinks I should invite everyone regardless because when I have my own kids, my SD shouldn't feel like she got the shaft.
I agree with that and I would never want her to feel like she was less important. I hate these situations with such a passion. It makes things so difficult that should normally be fun occasions.
So points to address:
1. Would you do a combined party or separate?
2. Who would you invite?
sorry this is long but it's definitely a bone of contention at home and I wanted to see if I'm being unreasonable.
