I'm totally annoyed right now. We were supposed to take off Thurs and Fri and go to visit a friend for the weekend. It was going to be a total blast and I couldn't wait to go.
So Dh loves work and working and he's been offered a big job, YET AGAIN, for this whole week, so he'll essentially be working around the clock all week just like he did last week. Now that's fine and dandy, but now he's telling me I can't go to our friend's b/c he can't go.
I understand he's working his butt off but I don't ask him to work those hours...he chooses to. Then he has to give me the guilt trip by saying 'Ok so I'm working my a$$ off and your out partying with your friends spending all the money that I'm making. How is that fair?' So what am I supposed to do? Sit in the house all summer while he feeds his workaholism? And excuse me but I have a good job too, making my own money. I'm a made woman God dammit! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I know I sound like a whiny brat but I'm so irritated! Okay. I'm done now. Thanks.
vmystique33
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Re: Anybody else married to a workaholic?
I would be irritated too !! You shouldnt have to stay home and do nothing while he is working !!
vika111
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Re: Anybody else married to a workaholic?
I kind of know how he feels because I'm the workaholic in our relationship. I work 7 days a week, and expect DH to do all of the house stuff and cooking because I just can't handle it. I don't get upset, but disappointed when he goes out without me because I feel as though I'm missing out on the fun just because I'm working for the both of us. He doesn't do this often, though.
MJDoc12
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Re: Anybody else married to a workaholic?
unless you guys are struggling for $$ -- i don't think its fair of him to say to you, that you shouldn't go away. this was a plan you made and now he's deciding to work instead....not you fault.
i think you need to sit down with him and really go over things. why does he feel like he needs to work so much? i'm sure he wants to provide a good life for you guys---but whats the point of making money if you can't even enjoy time with your significant other?
TheFutureMrsM
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Re: Anybody else married to a workaholic?
I can definitely relate, my DH is a workaholic He pretty much works from 7am til about 11pm at night give or take a couple hours.
This may sound weird, but i am so used to it. I kinda like being alone when hes working. Or i go out or have my friends come over to hang out.
He took off Sunday, so i just included him into my normal sunday routine which is brunch with my friends Its so nice when he does make time...
HamptonsBride
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Re: Anybody else married to a workaholic?
see now my DH would be the opposite...he'd give me $$$ and say 'go have fun with your friends...sorry i have to work'...if he ever said anything about spending 'his money' i'd kick his a$$..haha! Tell him it was his choice to take this job when he knew about the plans...sorry he is making you feel guilty! Go have fun!!!
thelastresort
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Re: Anybody else married to a workaholic?
Posted by MJDoc12
i'm sure he wants to provide a good life for you guys---but whats the point of making money if you can't even enjoy time with your significant other?
THANK YOU! My point exactly. And to answer your question, he works b/c he LOVES working. It's his favorite thing to do. I wish I felt that way about my job. LOL
SylvieB
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Re: Anybody else married to a workaholic?
Ummm, yeah!! The thing is, one of the reasons why I fell in love w/ DH was b/c of his strong work ethic. It's hard sometimes, we have children, so I feel like a married single mother!
He is off every Sunday now which is wonderful. Before he would be off 2 days during the week while I was at work, so we had NO time!
I think it is definetly unfair for your DH to expect you to be home, especially if this was planned and he had the OPTION of taking the job. I'd be frustrated too!!
JennNicole
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Re: Anybody else married to a workaholic?
Posted by thelastresort
Posted by MJDoc12
i'm sure he wants to provide a good life for you guys---but whats the point of making money if you can't even enjoy time with your significant other?
THANK YOU! My point exactly. And to answer your question, he works b/c he LOVES working. It's his favorite thing to do. I wish I felt that way about my job. LOL
ITA - but my DH says the same things to me - so I understand where your coming from.
twinkle164
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Re: Anybody else married to a workaholic?
Honestly, I'd be pis sed too. You know the best defense is a good offense. If he has a problem with you going without him, I would say, 'well why do you take on extra work when you know we have plans' If he wants you to be considerate to him it works both ways. Sometimes husbands need a good shake. Good luck.
mariaobride
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Re: Anybody else married to a workaholic?
I was in this position a year before I got engaged and it was difficult- I think it also contributed to dh not knowing how to balance time with work and a relationship ( i completely think its a different story when you are married though) anyway it had gotten to a point where I think I would see him once or twice a week (weekends) he traveled a lot the weekends I had to share him (went to his sisters house) and that was frustrating- when he was away I wouldnt even get phone calls from him I started getting use to it but at the same time I was feeling lonely and depressed . I ended up having a huge conversation with him and putting it into prespective it made him realize how I was on the back burner (not saying you are) and we needed to compromise. Our relationship didnt change over night but it did get so much better . He sometimes has to work late which I do not mind at all .
milana
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Re: Anybody else married to a workaholic?
I would also be annoyed but i can completely relate to you. DH is a total workaholic, anytime we would get back to our hotelroom in Europe, he would jump on his laptop, connect to the internet, and start calling people at work from his cellphone. But hes been that way ever since I met him so im very used to it, in the begining it used to really bother me, but now not so much alothough it is annoying at times especially when we go away on vacation.
magbride
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Re: Anybody else married to a workaholic?
I can also relate. DH runs his family business and it's just him and his brother that work, so it's nearly impossible for us to take trips. And he works most Saturdays. Like previous poster said, I've always liked his strong work ethic but it can also be tough when making plans. I would be PO'd though if he suggested I stay home after we've had these long-standing plans. You're not the one changing the plans, he is. It stinks that you won't be able to go as a couple, but that's his decision, you shouldn't have to miss out b/c of it.
Dee0522
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Re: Anybody else married to a workaholic?
He definitely shouldn't ask you to stay home, whether he wants to work or not! Why should you have to give up your plans just b/c he's at work? For the past couple of months, DH has had to work one day on the weekend (in addition to M-F) and he would get mad if I !wasn't out doing something! I would be especially angry with him if he CHOSE to go to work on a day we were supposed to have plans and expected me to cancel them. I don't think so!!
jtgarsik
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Re: Anybody else married to a workaholic?
Posted by MJDoc12
unless you guys are struggling for $$ -- i don't think its fair of him to say to you, that you shouldn't go away. this was a plan you made and now he's deciding to work instead....not you fault.
i think you need to sit down with him and really go over things. why does he feel like he needs to work so much? i'm sure he wants to provide a good life for you guys---but whats the point of making money if you can't even enjoy time with your significant other?
couldn't have said it better myself
dancerandchef
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Re: Anybody else married to a workaholic?
DH is but we are struggling a bit so we gotta to do what we got to do.
You need to sit with him and let him know your feelings on this. Even though my dh is working overtime he makes sure to make time for us and we always remember that communication is the key.
