Baby Question/opinions...your experience??

So, dh and i are not ttc yet but are thinking that by late next summer, ideally we might start.

i know im definately not ready right now but a year is not so far away so ive just been thinking and getting a little nervous that having a baby will change us; im assuming this is a realistic thing; your dynamic has to change a little im sure but i just am nervous and definately right now, im too selfish to share my dh with a baby lol.

anyway, can those mommies and anyone else who has advice or opinions on the subject tell me about your experience?

eta: if i felt the same exact way in a year, im thinking that maybe we should hold off but then again, will this always be a fear, kwim??

tia!!!

i dont know if its ok for me to answer this..i dont have kids..but i have 8 neices and nephews and i can tell u having kids changes ur world

imo..u have to be ready for everything to change..including ur body,sleep schedule,vacation..etc etc

now in saying that i think there is no greater gift than being a parent but i think we r all ready at diffeent parts of our lives..and when u r ready u will know..

if u r having second thoughts wait till u both are 100 percent ready

well our will be here soon and I would have to say that our preg has brought us closer together. We realize that a baby will change our normal activities but are ready for them-like it or not
we have a dog that gives us a lot of practice.
i think theres a lot of things to be nervous about but when it happens everything will fall into place.

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Posted by gina409

i dont know if its ok for me to answer this..i dont have kids..but i have 8 neices and nephews and i can tell u having kids changes ur world

imo..u have to be ready for everything to change..including ur body,sleep schedule,vacation..etc etc

now in saying that i think there is no greater gift than being a parent but i think we r all ready at diffeent parts of our lives..and when u r ready u will know..

if u r having second thoughts wait till u both are 100 percent ready

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ita

as a new mom -

even though we knew we wanted to have kids right way, it was and still is a HUGE adjustment. i don't think you are ever 100% ready to have kids only b/c every child is different and how can you be ready to be a parent until you are one? i freaked out when i was about 7-8 months prego realizing how big it all was. and when i first got home i realized how every thing we do affects Maddy.

ON THAT NOTE: once you are there you make it work. if you don't feel like you are ready then definitely wait, BUT i'm not sure if everyone is ever 100% ready to be a parent.. you can just be 100% WILLING to learn how to and be open to the new and AMAZING changes!!!

thanks everyone! i think i will just wait till we are in the position which we would like to be in (have a house) to think more about this. i realize its never too early to think things through and thats what i was trying to do or atleast it somehow just crept into my thoughts. im going to enjoy this time and next year, ill really try to see how i feel and speak with dh.

thanks again for everyones advice.

Sorry to crash...I don't know what its like to have a baby, but I do know what its like to go from doing whatever you like to having your whole world revolve around a child. I really had no idea what it was going to be like...you should be completely prepared to have your whole life revolve around someone else, and that someone else is not going to care if you need sleep, or a break, or some peace and quiet for a couple of minutes, or to just be left alone. It is definitely rewarding, but its important to know the other side of it going in. I wish someone had told me beforehand...but I suppose nobody can really prepare you for it. You just have to experience it for yourself.

I'd say wait until you feel like you've had enough time just the two of you, because you won't get that sort of time together again until the kids are grown and moved out.

It definitly changes your relationship...but more so your life. And all in a good way. My son is the best thing that has ever happened to me

In my opinion...nobody is ever really 'ready' to have a baby...ever. I wouldnt worry about time limits or constraints. Once you make the decision to try, it'll happen when its supposed to.

As soon as you meet your new little one...you'll be worried about sharing the baby with DH, not the other way around ...haha.

On a personal level... And I am being honest here..
I was NOT ready at all to be a mother...

I wanted dh and I to travel, surf, and buy a house before we had a baby...

Fast forward nine months and I am due in three weeks. Am I ready? NO. Am I struggling with the idea? Yes. This was not planned and I was on the pill.

DH was ready to have a baby the moment he held our nephew three years ago for the first time. He is a natural at fatherhood... and is calmer than I'll ever be. He has not freaked out once, and has not worried once about having this baby...

I still worry... I still panic. I still say to myself 'How did this happen'

But then.. .the baby kicks me... literally... and i realize that this was meant to be. This was supposed to be the baby that I was meant to have. Maybe if I hadnt been so stubborn on not getting married till 25 (DH wanted to get married three years ago he is a little older than me) I may have ended up with this miracle mistake but he would have been planned....

I guess what I am trying to say is... I don't thin kanyone is ever really fully ready. In an ideal situation DH would have stayed with his old higher paying job with his family rather than the new, low paying apprenticeship that he is at now. But, this is where we are, and this is what happened... and I do believe that everything happens for a reason so thats what makes it make more sense in my head....

Well...
my opinon.. is that NO ONE is ever TRULY 100% ready for it. I just don't think it's possible... especially for a first time mom... I don't think you ever really know what you are getting yourself into... until BAM you are there!!! Even with trying and getting pregnant, and then losing it, to trying again now... would I consider myself 100% ready?? NOPE!!! But that's OK.

I think it's OK to be nervous and have these fears and wonder these types of things. Actually... I expect every parent to feel this way!! For me, it's almost like the first step of parenthood. I would be more concerned with those who are not at all nervous or apprehensive; because you know it's going to hit them like a TON OF BRICKS!!!

I think only you really know when the time is right for you. And then other times.. things just happen... even when the time isn't seemingly right... and you have to scrounge up to make it right because it's coming whether you like it or not. And some things are just meant to be.

I DEF thing it changes the dynamics of the relationship. There's really no way a newborn can't change that. But I feel that change doesn't always have to be perceived as a negative thing. A lot of times change is positive.. the markings of a new beginning... filled with hopes and dreams. I think that the change of having a baby would ultimately make you and DH closer (hopefully for most if not all of us)... and thus actually be a postive on the relationship because now you have gone through yet another thing in life together that has major potential to make the relationship that much stronger. I think the main focus will be mostly on taking care of a newborn baby and then a toddler, etc. But it's still important to keep your relationship in focus and grounded. I tend to embrace change. I know A LOT of people are usually scared of change and the unknown... but I love new beginnings... I've always embraced change and actually looked forward to it.

I also have to say... for me personally... after having a mc... even that experience made us closer. So even when things don't work out... you can still bond through the bad times.


OH and PS - what chick doesn't love seeing their DH hold a baby?!?!? Isn't there something just sooo sweet about that??

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Posted by pandafish519

as a new mom -

even though we knew we wanted to have kids right way, it was and still is a HUGE adjustment. i don't think you are ever 100% ready to have kids only b/c every child is different and how can you be ready to be a parent until you are one? i freaked out when i was about 7-8 months prego realizing how big it all was. and when i first got home i realized how every thing we do affects Maddy.

ON THAT NOTE: once you are there you make it work. if you don't feel like you are ready then definitely wait, BUT i'm not sure if everyone is ever 100% ready to be a parent.. you can just be 100% WILLING to learn how to and be open to the new and AMAZING changes!!!

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LOVE your answer Ali!!! and I TOTALLY agree with every word!!!!

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Posted by KerriJohnS

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Posted by pandafish519

as a new mom -

even though we knew we wanted to have kids right way, it was and still is a HUGE adjustment. i don't think you are ever 100% ready to have kids only b/c every child is different and how can you be ready to be a parent until you are one? i freaked out when i was about 7-8 months prego realizing how big it all was. and when i first got home i realized how every thing we do affects Maddy.

ON THAT NOTE: once you are there you make it work. if you don't feel like you are ready then definitely wait, BUT i'm not sure if everyone is ever 100% ready to be a parent.. you can just be 100% WILLING to learn how to and be open to the new and AMAZING changes!!!

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LOVE your answer Ali!!! and I TOTALLY agree with every word!!!!

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thanks hunny!!

sorry i know im a few days late but i really appreciate all your answers and the honesty- it really helped me a lot.

these are the type of posts out of the millions that make me love you girls and liw so much.

ok im leaving before i cry lolol