bummed

So my best friend since I was 4 is getting married in October. Im a bridesmaid. her sister is the MOH, but not really into the planning stuff at all. there is one other BM. All our moms are also good friends. The brides mom has hosted showers for both my sister and I. So my mom, sis, and I have been planning to hst her shower for the year and 7 months she has already been engaged. I was in maine last weekend and my mom and I actually tested out recipes for it and everything. Well I JUSt found out the other BMs mom is planning to host the shower. Im so upset. This is my best friend and I have been looking forward to hosting it for so long. So i was gonna write back something maybe asking if we can be in charge of the food and drinks. How do I word that? I was really into planning it already. The bride told me her sister was hoping I would do it and the other BM is a girl we grew up with and were good friends with, but the bride doesn't see her very often. And the bried told me specifically what she wants and doesn't want basically knowing I was hosting. Im just really upset cus I have been making all these plans and getting stuff together and now I cant host it.

gina ure going to have to have kim step in and say something. the other girl isnt in the position to 'steal' hosting...unless kim told her it was okay.

if kim already told her it was okay...then just offer the food and stuff and then just be super involved and say nicole would want this and that and loves this and that.

if kim didnt say anything...she has to tell the other bm thank u but that the shower is alreadu set and being planned by your mom and just be stern with it adding in that your moms do it for each other and how its her turn etc.

I think that you should tell the girl exactly what you told us. It is your BFF, I know it will be hard but you were planning on hosting, the bride is expecting you to host, she hosted yours...it makes perfect sense to me...just tell her and hopefully she will be understanding

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Posted by MikeandJess

Try telling her that you've already been planning the shower as well because that is what the bride wished for but you'll be happy to include her in every step of planning. Honestly if I put that much time and effort into planning this thing I wouldn't just ask her if I could host the shower, I'd tell her I am. Of course not in a b!tchy way

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Yes I totally agree....the post you said to us was really sweet and sincre...and I think that you should tell her just like that...

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Posted by lizzie217

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Posted by MikeandJess

Try telling her that you've already been planning the shower as well because that is what the bride wished for but you'll be happy to include her in every step of planning. Honestly if I put that much time and effort into planning this thing I wouldn't just ask her if I could host the shower, I'd tell her I am. Of course not in a b!tchy way

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Yes I totally agree....the post you said to us was really sweet and sincre...and I think that you should tell her just like that...

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In the email I sent them originally I had said we were hosting. But both of them write back saying they already knew the others girls mom was hosting. So I had been left out of the loop. I dont think it was intentional at all. They just dont get that its actually something I enjoy doing. To them its more like oh her mom will just do it and none of us have to worry about anything. So i wrote back saying that I want to be involved in the planning and explanined that it was very important to me. So hopefully they get the message that I just dont want to sit back and have her mom do everything. Thanks for the advice ladies!

definitely tell her what the BRIDE has told you SHE WANTS!!!!!!!

good luck