Chilc Care ? for the moms-to-be

It still isnt decided in my case..(long)

As of yet, I am still unemployed. If i should get a job within the next month (i havent ruled it out, im restless and ambitious about getting to work, i think its boredom and cabin fever!) ), i will be in a tough situation. My MIL has wholeheartedly offered to babysit completely, however problem is, she lives in Queens, we are in Suffolk County. I have no clue how we would work this out and how it would affect our day to day life. (any feedback on that is welcome !! ).

Anyway, so I will either still be out of work and go back to work a year later (and it will be so much harder for me to get back into the work force from where I left off) or my MIL will babysit for us.
Also, there is a tutor time opening up right by me, but im not too sure i would put an newborn there and i've heard they are very costly, so that would play a huge factor. Im really not sure about this whole situation, i just thought i'd throw my predicament out there, and someone can give me advice too !

Hi Michelle-

Our long term plans are not settled but we at least know what we will be doing in the beginning. I get 12 weeks paid maternity leave and can even extend it to another 8 weeks of full pay on short term disability, which I'd probably take 4 weeks at the most. So that's either 3 or 4 months, after which I will have to go back to work. With Derek's job (as you know) he doesn't work 5 days a week, so he will be taking care of the baby most of the time. My mother will help out when she needs to. I am really only comfortable with that set up till the baby's 8 or 9 months, maybe up to a year because once they want to explore, I think it will be tiring for my mother, she is almost 73. A young 73, but still...73 years old running around after a baby is going to be too much. Derek's schedule is flexible but if he makes Lt., he will have much less flexibility. (By the way, how does Steven think he did on the test? He must be thrilled it's over!!!). I am hoping to find a 4 day job closer to home next year. I wish I could take time off, but it's not in the cards for us so we'll have to investigate further. There's a woman (a former neighbor of my MIL) that watches my 17 month old nephew so my SIL was mentioning her as an option. Of course, that depends on where we buy a house. I'm glad we at least have the initial plan in place. I'm overwhelmed with stuff to think about but it's all good so I'm not complaining

I really dont know what we are going to do -p and that drives me crazy! I like to plan as much as I can in advance. Trouble is I am not telling anyone here at work just yet...and I do not know what benefits I DO have. I have checked the handbook that was issued to me 2 years ago and I do not see ANYTHING with maternity leave on it.
They do have info about the family meidcal leave act- but that is time off WITHOUT pay- and that is an option that I;d rather add on to PAID maternity leave.
My parents are both deceased ( that of course makes me pretty blue since I cannot share any of this with them...) and ROb said he doesnt want his mom watching the baby. Plus, she works full time anyway....so I dont know.
I was raised by a SAHM and it is bumming the SH-- out of me that we cannot do the same thing for our child- even if it was just for a year.
ROb works in mental health but he doesnt have a masters or a PHD so, although he does as much work at the same level of those PHDS he gets paid 1/4 what they do. Spoke to him numerous times over the yrs to encourage him to go to school- but he feels the $40.0 dbt of school would not be offset by the minimal raise in salary. Trouble is he is too comfortable at his current job ( 12 + years)....
Any advice????

Well, when I had my daughter, almost 7 yrs ago(I can't believe it) I went back to work after 6 weeks. She went to a daycare until this year when she started 1st grade. Now my parents pitch in after school until I get home around 6:30-7pm. I've hated working full time for awhile because it seems like all of Emily's friends have SAHMs.(All the moms on my block are home all day). I really miss being around for my kid.
When I have this baby, I only want to work part time and if we can swing it maybe not at all.