Conflicting Conflict Resolution

PreshusSmurf Posted: Jul 07, 2008 04:34 PM

Conflicting Conflict Resolution

do you & your hubby handle conflicts the same way?

DH and i are POLAR opposites when it comes to this.

i will confront situations head on, he avoids conflict like its the plague!!

he'd rather stew on something, and eventually *maybe* approach the subject if he can't get over it on his own and forget about it. in his mind, he's making sure he doesn't act out of emotion and say the wrong thing.

IMHO, its almost never the wrong thing if its how you feel ... and i would rather confront something when the feelings are on the surface.

it is soooooooooo frustrating!

JennNicole Posted: Jul 07, 2008 05:01 PM

Re: Conflicting Conflict Resolution

I confront things head on . .. I like to get it out.. he will be more sarcastic even during the fight so it will last longer b/c of this.. but in the end we usually find someway to work through it all.

hayleyandsteve Posted: Jul 07, 2008 05:04 PM

Re: Conflicting Conflict Resolution

haha oh man, I must be frustrating to you also... because I'm just like your DH!

PattyK Posted: Jul 07, 2008 05:18 PM

Re: Conflicting Conflict Resolution

DH can be like that. I tend to be more confrontational and more outspoken about most things.

HamptonsBride Posted: Jul 07, 2008 05:57 PM

Re: Conflicting Conflict Resolution

Dh is sooo much better at it that i am...he is always calm & says 'Come here...let's talk about it'...

While I just get angry...slam things around the house...or go for a drive...come back & forget all about why I was a raging lunatic in the first place...haha...i always feel like i need to 'get away' from the problem before I can deal with it sanely...at least DH is patient & puts up with my crap.

Aug07OFCbride Posted: Jul 07, 2008 06:08 PM

Re: Conflicting Conflict Resolution

hmm, not really. i am probably less able to 'get over' things after our arguments. he can move on frighteningly fast. we're both stubborn so neither one wants to admit wrong but one of us eventually gives in and apologizes. we make up quite easily which is a blessing.

also he likes to have space and quiet to think things out. i need to talk and am bothered by the space or quiet at that point.

LauraD419 Posted: Jul 07, 2008 07:10 PM

Re: Conflicting Conflict Resolution

DH likes to talk about things right away and I like a cool down period to gather my thoughts so I can talk more rationally.

Sometimes he will talk constantly and it makes me more and more aggrevated, which will cause me to blow up in an unnecessary way. So, we're working on this!

PreshusSmurf Posted: Jul 08, 2008 03:16 AM

Re: Conflicting Conflict Resolution

Posted by gemmifer
but in the end we usually find someway to work through it all.

yes, definitely ... marriage is all about finding a way to work through it all somehow!

i spent a half hour last night trying to convince him that my way is the right way.

then he spoke to his mom this afternoon, and she told him he was wrong

PeteysBride Posted: Jul 08, 2008 06:42 AM

Re: Conflicting Conflict Resolution

Mm you and your DH are just like us. I like to get it out of the way, kill it and move on. He stews though HE calls it 'letting go.' RIGHT when he 'lets go' he ignores me for an hour. So we usually get into rip roarers and it becoems a bigger issue but we're learning ways to kill the drama before it gets to that point. Coming up with little signals and stuff that is our sign for OK Lets take a pause.

What Posted: Jul 08, 2008 08:45 AM

Re: Conflicting Conflict Resolution

I confront things head on... he just lets things roll off his back. drives me nuts

What Posted: Jul 08, 2008 08:46 AM

Re: Conflicting Conflict Resolution

Posted by PeteysBride

Mm you and your DH are just like us. I like to get it out of the way, kill it and move on. He stews though HE calls it 'letting go.' RIGHT when he 'lets go' he ignores me for an hour. So we usually get into rip roarers and it becoems a bigger issue but we're learning ways to kill the drama before it gets to that point. Coming up with little signals and stuff that is our sign for OK Lets take a pause.

YES!!!! that's what mine does.. 'just let it go...'

and then tells me 'relax, you're over reacting'

then he does his little G.W. Bush laugh... like eh eh eh eh ...

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Dee606 Posted: Jul 08, 2008 08:53 AM

Re: Conflicting Conflict Resolution

We are total opposites in our arguing style...

If we get into a serious fight, I usually like to walk away & calm down by taking a breath & he likes to get in my face.

If we have a stupid small disagreement, I like to get it resolved asap so then I get in his face but he likes to avoid it.