Dear...

Dear Lady Down the Street...

Look I know you don't take care of your house and your doorstep is full of stuff from the Home Shopping Network... but a package that is not addressed to you and shows up on your doorstep by accident is NOT YOURS!!! You should get off your lazy butt and call UPS and tell them you got it by mistake. At very least you should respond to the NUMEROUS notes we left you and give me back my teapot. I am sorry my vision impaired grandfather wrote the wrong address on it, but despite showing up at your house its not yours, its mine, it belonged to my grandmother and my 86 year old grandfather wants me to have it. SO GIVE IT BACK!!!


Sincerely,

Your annoyed neighbor.


I WANT MY DISNEY TEAPOT!!!!

YEAH! You tell her!

Dear PITA Neighbor down the street,

I love how you think it's funny that you plow our dirt road 800 times & leave 3 feet of dirt, ice & crap sitting in the front of our driveway so we cant get out, and that everytime I shovel back out into the street you come by again with your GD'ed stupid effin plow & plow again when there's nothing else to plow except for what you piled along our driveway. It's a private dirt road & I think it was clear after the 3rd time you plowed it dumb a$$! Next time you wait until Im done shoveling & go back inside my house for you to sneak out with your effin plow again - I am going to run out in the middle of the road & hit your truck with ice balls & whack your truck w/ my DH's industrial snow shovel!

Oh yeah & I'm PMS'ing big time today - so if you think I'm playing w/ ya - just test me - I will EFF YOU UP! SO KNOCK OFF THE $HIT & STAY OFF THE ROAD F-ER!

Your tired & PMSing neighbor

Dear Snow



Please don't come here.....Come back again next Christmas.


Thanks,

Miss Anti-Frosty Right Now

Dear Snow,

If you're going to snow, snow big so I don't have to come to work on Friday.

Yours Truly,
Wifethatneedsadayoff

Dear Headache -

If 6 advil throughout the day can't stop you...I don't know what will! Please just do me a solid and GO THE F AWAY ALREADY!!!!!

Love,
The girl who feels like this -->

Dear Life,

Could you lay off for a few days please? I'm trying to catch up on the things that actually matter.

Thanks,
C

Dear Grad School,

Please give me the courtesy of if you are accepting me into your establishment. I am going crazy and was not this stressed out planning my wedding! The mail-man is terrified of me and so is my DH. I have and will continue to be clinically insane until you notify me of your choice..

Sincerely,

Crazed Looney Looking for answers!

Dear TAX SEASON,

U STINK!

From,

YOUR UNFRIENDLY ASST. COMPTROLLER!

Dear Lulu the cat,

Can I please pee in private? I know you missed me when we were on vacation, but just once I'd like to pee without you crying on the other side of the door or barreling in and opening the door for the whole world to see me on the toilet. I love you, but seriously, be patient. I'm not going to fall in and disappear.

Love your mommy.