do I have the right to be annoyed?

OK, let me premise by saying I'm not rip-roaring mad or anything, but I'm definitely ticked off.
Here's the situation... BIL's fiance and I are not friends, never have been. After she decided to plan a trip for the weekend of my bridal shower (she knew about my shower already) I figured there was really no need to invite her to my bachelorette party, which was a weekend in Newport with my friends whom she also does not get along with. Apparently she had been offended at the lack of invitation- there is no way in He!! she would have even gone. She also skipped our rehearsal brunch the weekend before our wedding.
Now they're getting married in June and she just planned her bach-party, which I was certain I wouldn't be invited to and was fine with. As it turns out, she planned a trip to DR for the same weekend as one of our ('our' meaning DH, BIL and my) friends wedding, which has been planned for two years. So ok, she was obviously trying to get herself out of going to the wedding. Rude, but not surprising.
Here's the part that bothers me. FSIL invited my SIL, which I expected, but also my MIL, DH's aunt and his uncle's girlfriend. It would be fine if she invited her friends to go away, but I feel like she invited 'MY' family but discluded me. Dh feels like, well since I didn't invite her than she didn't invite me- it's the same thing. But I don't feel it's the same at all. I didn't invite her away with my friends, she didn't invite me to a family function. And like it or not, we ARE family. What she did is more like me not inviting her to my shower, not my bach party.
Am I insane here or what?

be thankful you are not included

she sounds too high maintenance for me

I think there is a difference here. You had a weekend with your friends. She is having a weekend with family.

If she kept it to her friends only (like yours was) than I would say it's fine because it's the same thing you did.

but, this is different. But, I guess the ARGUMENT 'I wasn't invited to her Bach party, so I didn't invite her to mine' can still be made. Obviously, she was hurt that you didn't invite her. So, now she wants her revenge. It's a shame when people use their weddings to get revenge on others. Oh well, what are you going to do about it? I had something similar happen to me. I was very hurt by it, but I've realized that I really don't need to socialize with those people outside of major family functions. And, when that happens, we all ignore each other.

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Posted by september2004

be thankful you are not included

she sounds too high maintenance for me

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I agree!

Nicole -
I definitely agree with you that you have the right to be pissed - it is different because as suven said - this became a whole event with pretty much all the female members of the family except for you!!
I think it's just going to make her look more childish and petty when the female family members realize you weren't invited. That being said - I also agree with the others who said - good riddance!!

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Posted by LisaT

seeing as how you don't want to go, don't like the girl AND have a wedding to attend that weekend anyway, I would forget about and not waste another thought on her.

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Ditto

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Posted by nferrandi

OK, let me premise by saying I'm not rip-roaring mad or anything, but I'm definitely ticked off.
Here's the situation... BIL's fiance and I are not friends, never have been. After she decided to plan a trip for the weekend of my bridal shower (she knew about my shower already) I figured there was really no need to invite her to my bachelorette party, which was a weekend in Newport with my friends whom she also does not get along with. Apparently she had been offended at the lack of invitation- there is no way in He!! she would have even gone. She also skipped our rehearsal brunch the weekend before our wedding.
Now they're getting married in June and she just planned her bach-party, which I was certain I wouldn't be invited to and was fine with. As it turns out, she planned a trip to DR for the same weekend as one of our ('our' meaning DH, BIL and my) friends wedding, which has been planned for two years. So ok, she was obviously trying to get herself out of going to the wedding. Rude, but not surprising.
Here's the part that bothers me. FSIL invited my SIL, which I expected, but also my MIL, DH's aunt and his uncle's girlfriend. It would be fine if she invited her friends to go away, but I feel like she invited 'MY' family but discluded me. Dh feels like, well since I didn't invite her than she didn't invite me- it's the same thing. But I don't feel it's the same at all. I didn't invite her away with my friends, she didn't invite me to a family function. And like it or not, we ARE family. What she did is more like me not inviting her to my shower, not my bach party.
Am I insane here or what?

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She knew you would not be able to attend because of the friend's wedding and didn't invite you anyway just to make HERSELF look good? She's an idiot.

You should jsut keep saying, ( super sweetley, with her there) have fun ladies, I wish I could go but I have so & so's wedding.

She sounds like a lovely girl I agree with everyone else, you are going to look like the much bigger person and everyone is going to see right through her.

Thanks ladies! I know you're all right. And Heather, I LOVE your suggestion! That is too funny and it's the perfect response! What is she going to do, point out the fact that I hadn't been invited in the first place?! She's such an idiot.