Do I say something or not?

I have a friend that I've been pretty close with over the years. Her and her husband just had their first baby in July. When they moved in together, she moved to Jersey and we have grown apart a little. We still speak of course, just not as frequently, and we always catch up a few times a year in the city with and without our husbands.

She was wonderful through all of my wedding planning and home buying, always checking in on me, seeing how I was doing, etc as I was checking on her throughout her pregnancy. My wedding was their first night out without their daughter.

They came to the wedding, her husband got really drunk, and they left before dinner even landed on the table. She hasn't called or emailed me since. They didn't say goodbye at the wedding or anything.

Do I say something to her? Wait for her to contact me? Or just let it go? I'm pretty pissed at her.

Let it go... She prob feels guilty and thats why she hasnt called... and if she never calls again, would it be the end of the world for you? prob not....

Its like my ex-BM, I left her a nice little voicemail telling her she was booted from the bp, and she knows she messed up so hasnt called me since... No loss there... You move on...

With some people, it isnt even worth wasting your time...

She is probably super embarrassed. I would reach out to her, because she is probably to embarrassed to ever reach out to you. If you don't make an effort soon it will become to hard. I wouldn't lose a friendship over something her husband did.

I had an ex boss/ mentor who was at our church and said see you later, but never came to the reception. I didn't know what happened and was mad and hurt that I didn't get a gift or even hear from him. I finally reached out to him. It turns out he has been having major problems and has been in and out of the hospital. He was feeling good that day at the church but things took a turn for the worse later that day. He was to embarrassed at being a no show to apologize to me, so if I hadn't reached out to him I would have never known.

I'm sure she is super embarrassed by her husband's behavior! She had to leave your wedding early! I would be soooo angry at him, so embarrassed, etc. I would give it a little time and send her a nice email. I'm sure she is just mortified by his behavior.

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

A real friend would make sure to say goodbye to you and apologize for her husband's behavior.... if not at the wedding, if she was a good friend, she would have made sure to apologize at some point afterwards.... I dont find being embarrassed an excuse IMO... Maybe if it was HER who got soo drunk and was escorted out by her hubby, then I could see the embarrassment playing a role...

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I don't think that's true per se. Everyone's personalities are different. I don't think only a 'real friend' would have said goodbye, etc. Weddings are stressful! Maybe she didn't want to upset the bride, maybe her husband was about to puke everywhere, maybe she couldn't find the bride when she was dragging him out....It's no one's place to say what a 'real friend' would have done because everyone is different.

Katherine I would email her and see what the dealy was. Maybe she is a doodiehead and not worth your time anymore....But I wouldn't be angry right off the bat, see what she says.

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Posted by allegracristina

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

A real friend would make sure to say goodbye to you and apologize for her husband's behavior.... if not at the wedding, if she was a good friend, she would have made sure to apologize at some point afterwards.... I dont find being embarrassed an excuse IMO... Maybe if it was HER who got soo drunk and was escorted out by her hubby, then I could see the embarrassment playing a role...

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I don't think that's true per se. Everyone's personalities are different. I don't think only a 'real friend' would have said goodbye, etc. Weddings are stressful! Maybe she didn't want to upset the bride, maybe her husband was about to puke everywhere, maybe she couldn't find the bride when she was dragging him out....It's no one's place to say what a 'real friend' would have done because everyone is different.

Katherine I would email her and see what the dealy was. Maybe she is a doodiehead and not worth your time anymore....But I wouldn't be angry right off the bat, see what she says.

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I hear what you're saying... But to not even say anything after the wedding was done and over with? That would bug me... I think I've been in these situations too many times to care anymore and thats where my attitude stems from

To the OP, if its really bothering you and you cant seem to just forget about it, then there's no harm in inquiring... If she doesnt respond to your email (or whatever form you use), then you know where you 2 stand

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

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Posted by allegracristina

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

A real friend would make sure to say goodbye to you and apologize for her husband's behavior.... if not at the wedding, if she was a good friend, she would have made sure to apologize at some point afterwards.... I dont find being embarrassed an excuse IMO... Maybe if it was HER who got soo drunk and was escorted out by her hubby, then I could see the embarrassment playing a role...

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I don't think that's true per se. Everyone's personalities are different. I don't think only a 'real friend' would have said goodbye, etc. Weddings are stressful! Maybe she didn't want to upset the bride, maybe her husband was about to puke everywhere, maybe she couldn't find the bride when she was dragging him out....It's no one's place to say what a 'real friend' would have done because everyone is different.

Katherine I would email her and see what the dealy was. Maybe she is a doodiehead and not worth your time anymore....But I wouldn't be angry right off the bat, see what she says.

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I hear what you're saying... But to not even say anything after the wedding was done and over with? That would bug me... I think I've been in these situations too many times to care anymore and thats where my attitude stems from

To the OP, if its really bothering you and you cant seem to just forget about it, then there's no harm in inquiring... If she doesnt respond to your email (or whatever form you use), then you know where you 2 stand

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I hear you too...Because you and I would have done things WAY differently doesn't mean that the OP's friend isn't a real friend though. She may be a jerk, but we have yet to find that out! If it were me, of COURSE I would have gotten in touch with my friend the bride to say how sorry and ashamed I was to have to leave before dinner. I mean really though, that IS embarrassing if it went down that way. Hubby so drunk they had to leave even before dinner?!? That's tough! I assume you too would have said something the next day or week, and handled it differently. I just meant that maybe it's a little harsh to say a 'real friend' would have said goodbye etc.

I actually JUST remembered something I had blocked out of my mind!!! I had an ex that I dated for 8 years that was a real loser. My parents, and the two of us went to the South of France for a close close family friend's wedding. My ex got SO shittfaced wasted during the CH that he puked all over himself and I had to drive back to the Auberge and physically drag his 230 lb dead weight drunk asss all the way up to the room. It was SO embarrassing, humiliating, and just the worst. It was really close family friends that I missed their whole reception because of my loser ex! The next day we had to see everyone and he and I both had to apologize and make amends. It suucked. But we did it. So I do see what you mean Gina about handling it differently. You have a good point.

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

I hear what you're saying... But to not even say anything after the wedding was done and over with? That would bug me... I think I've been in these situations too many times to care anymore and thats where my attitude stems from

To the OP, if its really bothering you and you cant seem to just forget about it, then there's no harm in inquiring... If she doesnt respond to your email (or whatever form you use), then you know where you 2 stand

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I don't know, I think if I was super embarrassed at my or my husbands behavior I would be afraid to call. I think it depends on her personality which only you would know.

I mean shes literally the nicest person ever and thats why it really annoys me she hasn't called.

I sent her an email, wishing her well, asking about her little one and telling her what was on my mind. Lets see if she responds? If not, then at least I tried.

I wrote in there, its not like you left my house early when I was having a party. It was my wedding! And I haven't heard from you since?