Do you compare yourself to other brides and how well their planning goes/went?

suven Posted: Mar 24, 2005 10:03 PM

Do you compare yourself to other brides and how well their planning goes/went?

My DH's coworker is getting married in 2 weeks. (the same ones who came over that time and treated me like I was their waitress and only started to talk to me when she realized that I used the same caligrapher)

Anyway, DH tells me how the bride is all depressed because:

1. A lot of RSVPs were late
2. A lot of the groom's family declined so she's offended
3. One of the groom's uncles can't come but offered to fly them out to Florida for a celebratory weekend on him! The bride feels INSULTED by this!

So, I was telling DH how these are the crappiest reasons I have EVER heard of to create depression and THAT MUCH upset before wedding.

Dh responds by saying, 'well, you were upset about things before our wedding too'

Okay, mine were a bit different...drama in my family, then people called to say, 'Oh, these people are NOT coming...I only declined cause I thougth they WERE coming...call me back before the wedding and let me know if theychanged their minds. If they're not coming, then I'll come.', my brother treated me like a travel agent - he lives in NC, his 2 kids in AZ and 10 days before the wedding, decided that it was time to book flights, but he didn't have any time, DH's mom returned her gown and bought a WHITE one, so I was running around getting her a new dress (lots of drama- I had to bring her cause she doesn't drive), then his cousins started calling AFTER I did final prep because they wanted me to put them on a list to add on their dates if I got cancellations...

Finally, he admitted that he made a VERY bad comparision between me and this bride...

But, then I got to thinking, my sister thinks I had it pretty easy with MY wedding.

I wonder if everyone thinks they had it so much harder than everyone else...

RedHead Posted: Mar 25, 2005 07:04 AM

Re: Do you compare yourself to other brides and how well their planning goes/went?

hmmm tough question...i do think i had it VERY easy...I read about other peoples issues here and i do consider myself lucky to have had a supportive FH, great parents (mine and DH), a wonderful BP (one issue with a BM) and fabulous family.
My family really, when i look back and think about it, REALLY made this wedding the best i could have ever imagined.

I did have it easy. My wedding was wonderful ...did it have headaches...yea sure...everyone has some.

BUT overall i think i had it easier than most.

FireIslandLove Posted: Mar 25, 2005 08:12 AM

Re: Do you compare yourself to other brides and how well their planning goes/went?

Suven I remember that story!!! I don't compare myself to how other brides' planning went but I do say 'oh I wish I had that dress' - things like that. I definitely wouldn't have done anything different, but wish I could have had like 3 days of weddings, where one day I could have had red BM dresses, the next day purple, etc. - you get the idea. I definitely don't compare b/c I feel like its too late now anyway, I just try to help Brides to be that I know in the planning and preparation.

mrswask Posted: Mar 25, 2005 08:44 AM

Re: Do you compare yourself to other brides and how well their planning goes/went?

NO!

cocoa Posted: Mar 25, 2005 08:52 AM

Re: Do you compare yourself to other brides and how well their planning goes/went?

i also had some headaches, but in all honesty, it was stressful...but smooth at the same time. it was stressful b/c wedding planning is, but smooth b/c really, very little went wrong. i was also super calm and went with the flow. the day of...if it weren't for the dress, you wouldn't have known i was the bride. and we had a fun happy wedding. it is all in the mind set, i think. be happy and the day will be happy!

TracyInQueens Posted: Mar 25, 2005 09:03 AM

Re: Do you compare yourself to other brides and how well their planning goes/went?

I had a lot of anxiety about meeting the minimum- I thought it would not be a problem because I chose a small hall. DH and I knew that most of his family would not be able to make the trip from Wisconsin, but a number of my friends and family were not able to make it. We missed our minimum by a few and I felt bad about my parents paying for plates but then my dad said not to think about it that way. He made me feel better.

I feel lucky overall, though, because the day itself was great. Everything went smoothly and according to plan.

kel2004 Posted: Mar 25, 2005 09:06 AM

Re: Do you compare yourself to other brides and how well their planning goes/went?

I think that just like anything else, wedding planning is what you make of it. If you allow yourself to get stressed over things, then you will have a hard time. If you go with the flow and don't freak out over every little thing, then you will have an easier time. I think it's all about attitude.

brideinapril Posted: Mar 25, 2005 11:52 AM

Re: Do you compare yourself to other brides and how well their planning goes/went?

NO!

FeliciaDA Posted: Mar 25, 2005 12:01 PM

Re: Do you compare yourself to other brides and how well their planning goes/went?

Even though I totally stressed myself out before the wedding, that is just MY nature .. I was concerned that I wasn't feeling well, that my guests wouldn't have a good time, that something would go wrong.. but in essence, all my worries were unfounded because there was nothing out of the ordinary going on that SHOULD have made me so stressed!

Everything leading up to my wedding ran VERY smoothly, and I cannot say I had any true 'horror stories' compared to some of the things I've read/heard here . Both our families were amazing, my friends were awesome, I had truly fantastic vendors.. and even mother nature cooperated the day of

Do I read stories now and think 'wow, that bride needs to chill out and stop getting all bridezilla-like over such and such' .. well sure! I often think that most brides totally overreact about things that in the end, noone will notice or care about

But then again, as I said - I had it relatively easy. And none of us truly know what the other bride is going through.. and how severe or stressful her issues are leading up to the big day

SO I guess my long-winded answer would be 'NO'

lilmrs Posted: Apr 01, 2005 08:11 AM

Re: Do you compare yourself to other brides and how well their planning goes/went?

I don't..we had some really touch things happen before our wedding. My soon to be brother in law who was a member of the wedding party passed away 6 months before the wedding, then DH's grandma passed away two weeks later..it really put some of the normal wedding drama into perspective for me.