Does it get better after the wedding?

To all the married women....FH and I haven't spent any time together lately that hasn't involved wedding-related stuff or stuff for the new condo we bought. It has been so stressful, and I think our relationship as a couple has suffered because of it. We try to make 'date nights,' but it seems that every night I have a fitting, a meeting with the florist, etc., or else we are painting our new condo or shopping for furniture! I am really hoping it gets better after the wedding is behind us--it is such a happy time, but also such a stressful one, especially with seating decisions, etc. Any advice, or did any of you go through this before the wedding?

Re: Does it get better after the wedding?

I didnt go through that before the wedding, we bought our condo right after. It was very stressful. It takes a little while to get settled, Once you do it will be fine. Hang in there, you just have a lot going on right now.

PS-are you living in the condo now? I hope all is going well!

Re: Does it get better after the wedding?

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Posted by christy

I didnt go through that before the wedding, we bought our condo right after. It was very stressful. It takes a little while to get settled, Once you do it will be fine. Hang in there, you just have a lot going on right now.

PS-are you living in the condo now? I hope all is going well!

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Thanks! We aren't actually all moved in yet--the couches get delivered Friday, the wall to wall carpet will be installed in a couple weeks, and we finished painting and cleaning! That has actually been more stressful than the wedding I think, but all of it at the same time has been overwhelming.

Re: Does it get better after the wedding?

Yes Beth....it DOES get better. BUT...you do have to realize that after marriage, that's what your life is....EACH OTHER and your home and what you two are creating. I get one day off to spend with Richie, where we usually go to church, then SIL comes over with the kids to play in the pool....so where does that leave time to do stuff on our own? Not much...but we actually enjoy food shopping together or just sitting and watching TV.....

your priorities change BIG TIME after you get married, whether you think or want them to!! It's really kind of funny how 'instantaneously' you grow up after you get married!!

If you need ANYTHING, FM ME!

Re: Does it get better after the wedding?

It does get better. Right now you have 2 big things going on in your life - wedding and condo. These will both be over soon and you and FH can get back to just being a couple.

All of this stress is worth it. After the wedding you will look back and wonder why you spent so much time worrying about where to sit Aunt Edna, etc. I know I did!

Good luck!

Re: Does it get better after the wedding?

Thanks everyone! I was starting to think if our relationship had always been like this I never would have gotten engaged, but I think I just needed to realize that every relationship goes through rough spots that aren't fun, that need to be worked through on your way to the good stuff!

Re: Does it get better after the wedding?

To quote Caedmon's Call....lyrics to a song:

'You have to walks to see the mountain view'

Re: Does it get better after the wedding?

I had similar issues, but believe me, it did get better. We have always had date nites and we still continue to have them. I had a lot of problems going on~not weddign related~ and I was unable to spend more than a night or two a week with FH. Now that we have no choice but to like together, things are WONDERFUL!!!!! I can't say it will definately be for you, but I know our relationship did.

Re: Does it get better after the wedding?

I TOTALLY hated being engaged..it was probably the single worst time of my life..i enjoyed NONE of it..we were stressed, busy and overwhelmed..but it did go away after the wedding Im extremely happy to say!! We have only been married 8 months..but have fought I cant even think of any real fights since before the wedding..we are both just alot more relaxed and back to ourselves!! The best advice I got when I was engaged was to stop planning for a little while and enjoy each other...go away somewhere for the weekend and dont talk about weddings..just enjoy each other!! I wish you all of teh luck in the world...FM me if you ever want to..but what you are going through is VERY normal!!!

Re: Does it get better after the wedding?

After the wedding for me, I lived in my MIL's house for 3 months, because we were waiting for our co-op to go to closing. NIGHTMARE! Then, when we moved in, we ripped out the bathroom and kitchen, so I had to wake up at 5:30 am to drive to my mother's house and shower before going to work (bathroom took a while).
In the end, when you're sitting on your new couch, with your newly painted walls, watching tv with your DH, you can take a look around and smile!

Re: Does it get better after the wedding?

It does get better, for I noticed the day of the wedding weight was lifted off my shoulders. I was a mean and cranky person the 3 weeks before the wedding. I was stressing about everything and made sure that everything got done. I wanted to make the sure wedding stuff got done and he was thinking about the house and what we should do. Everything stopped after the wedding. It is so stressful and I dont think men understand what we go through to plan a wedding. We put alot of time and engery to make sure the day is special for everyone not just the bride and groom.
Dont worry everything will be back to normal and you will look back and laugh. Just try to stay calm and take it one day at a time.