FACEBOOK?? help??

my husband thinks that being on facebook, means that i am going to cheat on him..he is so insecure .... i don't know what to to??
and he's mad b/c there are guys on that I am 'friends' with that he doesn't know...am i doing anything wrong????? i need advice???

as long as youre not flirting with guys or doing something you shouldnt be doing then no youre not doing anything wrong.

Just tell him doesnt matter who is on, or whomever says anything as long as you handle it properly. In life he cant avoid this never happening, guys might flirt wherever you go, say things to you even walking down the street, but if you know how to act then shouldn't matter at all. If you conduct yourself properly i dont see a problem.

i do, but he's acting so crazy...and saying the meanest things to me!! i'm so confused and hurt!! i would never cheat or do anything of that nature!

my sisters husband cheated on her and i see what that does!!

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Posted by jeffamanda080808

Have him create an account so he can see what it is all about.

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yeah, but now's he's saying that he's going to talk to all these girls and be social, just to get back at me!

but, i only have 3 guys on facebook, from highschool that i know, but he doesn't and now he thinks they want to get in my pants...he's being rediculous!

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Posted by mishjohn

i do, but he's acting so crazy...and saying the meanest things to me!! i'm so confused and hurt!! i would never cheat or do anything of that nature!

my sisters husband cheated on her and i see what that does!!

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ok honestly this is what i say in these situations. If you do nothing wrong and somebody else gets jealous its not you who has something to do about it, its him who has to work on the trust issues and not worry about these things. The problem isnt you being on facebook, these things can happen anywhere, you cant stop doing everything in life that would prevent someone from ever even giving you attention. The problem is the jealousy so that has to get worked out.

Has he always been insecure?? Does he realize you can CHEAT on him anytime??? He is being very controlling about this and I hope you dont give in and delete your page. I have old guy friends from HS on my page. DH knows about it and doesnt give a crap. Sorry youre dealing with that. He shouldnt be treating you this way. Everyone has a facebook. I could understand if he found out you were on Ashley Madison or something!

I honestly think that having guys on facebook is no big deal - depending on WHO these guys are. If they are old friends or mutual friends, then whatever. But if you have ex-boyfriends on there, or guys that you just met, then maybe you should be careful. Not that you'd ever cheat on him ESPECIALLY thru facebook but i can understand his insecurities. Once you're married, I just feel like there is no room for new boy 'friends'. Not unless their mutual friends. OLD ones though (from before you were with DH), I don't feel that you should have to drop, as long as there was nothing romantic with them. But having an ex on there? Yeah, that could become an issue. A while back DH had one of his ex girlfriends on his myspace and it made me REALLY uncomfortable. Not that I ever didn't trust him - i just didn't trust HER. I figured what kind of girl seeks out her ex on myspace and friend requests him? What's she trying to do? They had no mutual friends on there, so obviously she made the effort to hunt him down, ya know? It just didn't feel right. So i told him how i felt about it and he understood completely and deleted her. It really showed me how much respect he has for me and our relationship. I would do the same for him in a heartbeat! On my MySpace, I have only my closest friends imaginable, but Facebook seems to have everybody - people from even elementary school that i haven't seen for 13 years. lol. I think i may have a guy I dated in high school on there, but who knows. If DH felt uncomfortable and wanted me to delete him, of course i would! My marriage means more to me than some random facebook friends. You know what I mean? I just wouldn't want to ever put DH in that horrible situation of feeling insecure & threatened.

So i feel like maybe it should be the same for you. If it really makes him so uncomfortable, I would hope that you would have enough respect for him to understand his concerns and delete them. Even if you don't agree. It's kind of that compromise that comes along with marriage, I think. That's MY opinion at least. Hope everything works out.

has he always been a jealous type? I'd ask him where the insecurity is coming from..especially since you are married...and i am sure you have that as your status...you are not doing anything wrong...if anything he sounds like he's trying to be controlling & spiteful...sorry you are dealing with this.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by mishjohn

i do, but he's acting so crazy...and saying the meanest things to me!! i'm so confused and hurt!! i would never cheat or do anything of that nature!

my sisters husband cheated on her and i see what that does!!

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ok honestly this is what i say in these situations. If you do nothing wrong and somebody else gets jealous its not you who has something to do about it, its him who has to work on the trust issues and not worry about these things. The problem isnt you being on facebook, these things can happen anywhere, you cant stop doing everything in life that would prevent someone from ever even giving you attention. The problem is the jealousy so that has to get worked out.

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i know!! i only actually have 3 guys on there from high school, all the rest are his friends wives and husbands....and those guys on there from my past...nothing ever happened between me and them!! he needs to figure this one out and get over it!

I totally understand and relate to you on this one. Dh hates the internet. He doesnt like the 'publicness' of facebook . He doesnt even like this site! At first i was kind of upset about it, but i realize that Dh is just a more private person. I can also understand that he doesnt want people from our past contacting us as well, we had some problems with that in the beginning of our relationship. Anyway, i respect his wishes and dont have an account because i dont really need one. However, the jealousy and trust thing is a whole other issue. He needs to know that you wouldnt ever cheat on him, facebook or no facebook.

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Posted by CD516

I totally understand and relate to you on this one. Dh hates the internet. He doesnt like the 'publicness' of facebook . He doesnt even like this site! At first i was kind of upset about it, but i realize that Dh is just a more private person. I can also understand that he doesnt want people from our past contacting us as well, we had some problems with that in the beginning of our relationship. Anyway, i respect his wishes and dont have an account because i dont really need one. However, the jealousy and trust thing is a whole other issue. He needs to know that you wouldnt ever cheat on him, facebook or no facebook.

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My DH is very similar. Hates the internet. Hates the 'publicness' of FB. Hates email. He doesn't work in an office job so he doesn't really see why I am online all the time. He doesn't like FB but I did show him my friends on FB and he is getting over it. He still thinks I am secretly friends w/ my exes (which of course I'm not). I just tried to show him that FB helps me keep in touch with people----including his sister, his mom and his best friend. I told him they can 'keep an eye on me!'

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Posted by skinny237

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Posted by CD516

I totally understand and relate to you on this one. Dh hates the internet. He doesnt like the 'publicness' of facebook . He doesnt even like this site! At first i was kind of upset about it, but i realize that Dh is just a more private person. I can also understand that he doesnt want people from our past contacting us as well, we had some problems with that in the beginning of our relationship. Anyway, i respect his wishes and dont have an account because i dont really need one. However, the jealousy and trust thing is a whole other issue. He needs to know that you wouldnt ever cheat on him, facebook or no facebook.

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My DH is very similar. Hates the internet. Hates the 'publicness' of FB. Hates email. He doesn't work in an office job so he doesn't really see why I am online all the time. He doesn't like FB but I did show him my friends on FB and he is getting over it. He still thinks I am secretly friends w/ my exes (which of course I'm not). I just tried to show him that FB helps me keep in touch with people----including his sister, his mom and his best friend. I told him they can 'keep an eye on me!'

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Wow i thought i was the only one who's DH hasnt fully caught on to the whole internet thing. DH uses the internet to go on ESPN and check email ( only if he has to) and thats it! He tells me i'm in love with my laptop

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Posted by CD516

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Posted by skinny237

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Posted by CD516

I totally understand and relate to you on this one. Dh hates the internet. He doesnt like the 'publicness' of facebook . He doesnt even like this site! At first i was kind of upset about it, but i realize that Dh is just a more private person. I can also understand that he doesnt want people from our past contacting us as well, we had some problems with that in the beginning of our relationship. Anyway, i respect his wishes and dont have an account because i dont really need one. However, the jealousy and trust thing is a whole other issue. He needs to know that you wouldnt ever cheat on him, facebook or no facebook.

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My DH is very similar. Hates the internet. Hates the 'publicness' of FB. Hates email. He doesn't work in an office job so he doesn't really see why I am online all the time. He doesn't like FB but I did show him my friends on FB and he is getting over it. He still thinks I am secretly friends w/ my exes (which of course I'm not). I just tried to show him that FB helps me keep in touch with people----including his sister, his mom and his best friend. I told him they can 'keep an eye on me!'

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Wow i thought i was the only one who's DH hasnt fully caught on to the whole internet thing. DH uses the internet to go on ESPN and check email ( only if he has to) and thats it! He tells me i'm in love with my laptop

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nope mine too! he would never get a facebook account- he says he is in contact with everyone he wants to be- if he's not in contact with someone, there is a reason.

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Posted by CD516

I totally understand and relate to you on this one. Dh hates the internet. He doesnt like the 'publicness' of facebook . He doesnt even like this site! At first i was kind of upset about it, but i realize that Dh is just a more private person. I can also understand that he doesnt want people from our past contacting us as well, we had some problems with that in the beginning of our relationship. Anyway, i respect his wishes and dont have an account because i dont really need one. However, the jealousy and trust thing is a whole other issue. He needs to know that you wouldnt ever cheat on him, facebook or no facebook.

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My DH is the same way...doesnt want facebook but doesnt care if I have mine. I show him my page from time to time and he probably knows all my passwords anyway - so no biggy. He is just not a jealous person. However if he didnt like it and wanted it gone..I'd prob get rid of it for him.

Ok next thing is put yourself in the reverse role. Say your DH had a facebook and girls, exes or maybe old hookups were writing him, would you be ok? I'd prob be jealous because that is how I am but at the same time I know he is coming home to me every night!

Dh barely knows how to turn on the computer. He calls facebook and myspace 'your dating sites' and asks if i have met anyone on them LOL but he knows all the guys that are on there. . .

in all fairness, my brother's best friend got cheated on bc of facebook. yes, techncally if you are going to cheat - you will find a way BUT this woman reconnected with her HS sweetheart after 10 years married and with two kids. . . so if FB never existed who knows if she would have cheated?

Well my DH calls Facebook 'Kiddie SH!T' But he doesnt care that I am on..

A cple years ago I had MySpace and a cple times guys from HS wrote things like 'Miss you so much, you look Hot' stupid stuff and DH was like W T F??? Which understand..I got rid of that account.

Now with Facebook I am only friends with FRIENDS not people from way back when who might write something silly....

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Posted by Jenn04

Ok next thing is put yourself in the reverse role. Say your DH had a facebook and girls, exes or maybe old hookups were writing him, would you be ok? I'd prob be jealous because that is how I am but at the same time I know he is coming home to me every night!

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She said she knew this people from HS and nothing happened with them. He needs to get a grip!