Family...

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Posted by GettinHutched

WOW your DH's family couldn't be more remote! But it's true, guys always have an easier time being away from family. I find it SO interesting. DH would live anywhere regardless of where family is.

DH's family live in South Carolina. We see them a couple times a year. I wish his Dad lived closer...I want our kids to have a grandad!! I think its his hope eventually to move closer...but he loves a more rural life with lots of land for his 5 dogs!

While DH and I live in NJ, my entire family lives on LI. My one sister lives a block away fro my mom- so Jess there's hope for you! My other sister is just 5 minutes away. It makes me sad sometimes. Last time I was out there they were getting ready to have dinner that Sunday night around 6 and I was sad I couldn't stay. They can just get together randomly and I wish I had that. I also miss my nieces and nephew terribly.

But then sometimes, I love having a completely separate life! And I do get caught up in it...my job, our marriage, social life, etc....

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Posted by Aug07OFCbride

WIth your first point...interesting what came to mind...the bible (Genesis) does say that the man is too leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. DH talked to me about how he really did think of that when it came down to making the decision to move away from his family, all the way from Alaska to PA to be w/ me.

Anyway, that was my interesting thought pattern...maybe it goes back to our origins as a people, that men might have an easier time being apart from their family.

Nice to hear your fam all lives close in NJ! There's hope! I dunno how DH would do if we did all literally end up so close. I totally understand the part where you said its also nice to be your own family on your own and have that time and space to be with eachother.

When you've lost someone in your immed fam, I think it just makes you really want to spend as much time with everyone as possible and to be closer. Who knows.

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Posted by GettinHutched

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Posted by Aug07OFCbride

WIth your first point...interesting what came to mind...the bible (Genesis) does say that the man is too leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. DH talked to me about how he really did think of that when it came down to making the decision to move away from his family, all the way from Alaska to PA to be w/ me.

Anyway, that was my interesting thought pattern...maybe it goes back to our origins as a people, that men might have an easier time being apart from their family.

Nice to hear your fam all lives close in NJ! There's hope! I dunno how DH would do if we did all literally end up so close. I totally understand the part where you said its also nice to be your own family on your own and have that time and space to be with eachother.

When you've lost someone in your immed fam, I think it just makes you really want to spend as much time with everyone as possible and to be closer. Who knows.

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That totally makes sense, Jess!

Actually my family all live close together on Long Island, while DH and I are over an hour away in NJ....so I don't get to be a part of that closeness. it stinks. But it is nice that most of us are together so when we get together it's easy. And I'm not really that far away in NJ anyway. I just miss the convenience of just stopping by!

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Posted by Jennifer907

Well, DH's rents live about 2 minutes away, in the same town as us. However we don't see them. MIL is psycho so I stay far away. Dh goes over there once a week for 5 minutes to give her money towards a loan she gave him. DHs brother lives just as close, but he doesn't talk to DH or ILs so we never see him or his new wife.

My family, on the other hand, lives in the next town, about 10 minutes away. We talk to them just about everyday and are over there 2-3 times a week. My family has always been super close and DH loves that he's super close to them now too. I was raised by my father and my grandparents so I love knowing that my kids will be able to know their grandfather in such a close way as well. Plus, there's a lot of people living in my Dad's house so it's always fun going there. You have my Dad, grandmother, sister, her boyfriend, Dad's girlfriend, her 9 year old girl (my god-daughter) and her 7 year old boy. And her 20 y/o son and his g/f go there a lot too. There's always something crazy going on!

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Posted by diva7531

My mom is in CT and right now we live downstairs from my dad, but he is moving to FL So the day after Thanksgiving we will be moving into an apt downstairs from MIL. I am glad that we will be so close to family. DD has been around my dad for her WHOLE life. SO I think this will be a culture shock for all of us. I love having family around, but we have very cose friends hat we consider family and they are on the island too.
This is why we could never move out of state. I am a firm beleiver of 'It takes a village to raise a child'

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Posted by rfilipofornow

screw independence. i want sunday dinners with my family, thanksgivings with mom's yams and my aunts broccoli casserole, christmas in NYC. that's why we eventually hope to move back east. not back to NY, but close enough that i can have all of those things, still with a bit of independence.

DH, overall, doesn't really care. his family is super small and he can only stand his parents for a little bit at a time. he's grown to appreciate them more since he's grown up, but he still is fine with moving back east. . . at least for awhile. he still wishes i would agree to move to cali, where he's from. he doens't want to live in san diego with his family, but loves northern cali. right now, i say hell no, but when he graduates, who knows where life will take us??

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Posted by PeteysBride

Im not sure how to think on this. My fams very tight knit but its the kind of tight knit wjere I love them to death, but they would be my death if I didnt move away if that makes sense. My mom has two sisters and the way they were raise,d its the sisters and no one else-everyone else comes second to the sister unit; husbands, kids, etc. I mean we have ALOT of personal baggage going on but its hard to be close to people who you know love u yet love someone else more to the point of putting them first. I was abused by my uncle as a kid-he never atualyl 'touched me' as they say, but he emotionally abused me and made passes at me when they weren't there. I was called a liar by my aunt and my mom stood by that. I mean for years until she divorced him I was forced t sit there with thim at the table with us. They favor my brohe because he's a boy (latino family) and anything he deos wrong is my fault even in NJ.

SO its odd. Like my dad and I are real clsoe but he adores my mom despite ehr not really adoring him so I dont wnat to come between their marriage so just stay out of situations where he is in the middle. I go home during holidays because DH is with me so they behave better, but my life and realtionship with my mom ahs massively improved since I moved to a diff state.

I miss them TREMENDOUSLY because I dont know anyone out here cept DH and his fam, but thats just the love and loyal feelings that naturally come with family. In my case, not necessaily so healthy. Alot of guilt with the fam complicated stuff.


Dh on the other hand very clsoe to his fam despite saying he isn't-we see them all the time and eatt dinner there a lot. I would like to move to N Carolina. He wants to stay close to them. -shrugs- And yet I cant imagine not spending holidays with my family...just very complicated stuff.

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Posted by Aug07OFCbride

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....some tough stuff. def understandable that you need some distance and it helps improve the relationships.

we want to move to the carolinas too, just waiting to finish my program here, and we're out!

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Eh didnt mean to sober up the thread. Let the chaos continue!

HEh yea we'll go and take Marie with us. She wants to go back to. Im thinking 3 years-want o finish my masters. I like it down there.

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Posted by PeteysBride

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Posted by Aug07OFCbride

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....some tough stuff. def understandable that you need some distance and it helps improve the relationships.

we want to move to the carolinas too, just waiting to finish my program here, and we're out!

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Eh didnt mean to sober up the thread. Let the chaos continue!

HEh yea we'll go and take Marie with us. She wants to go back to. Im thinking 3 years-want o finish my masters. I like it down there.

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oh stop! its just life. we all have our stuff.

yep, ill be done witth my program in about 3-4 yrs so we'll be heading down hopefully soon after.