Fight over money
DH makes 3x my salary and as of Friday I will be unemployed (I’m going to start going to school full time). This was a decision we both made although DH pushed this issue. I wasn’t quite ready to give up my income. We did the math and figured out we could get by with only his salary so I gave notice at my job.
So, this past week DH asked were I wanted to go on vacation this year. We have two of our good friends getting married in July which means bachelor and bachelorette trips and with me not going to be working I told him that we should forget about taking a trip this year. Anyway, my mom called a little while ago and said she wanted to plan a family cruise in April, it would be $479 a person and there would be no airfare. I called DH to find out if he wanted to go and all hell broke loose. He started yelling at me about how I’m taking him for granted, etc. I told him that the only reason I asked him about it was because the cost was so low. He pointed out spending money, etc that we would need. A simple, I don’t think it’s a good idea, would have been fine. But that’s not what happened. When I pointed out that he had previously offered to pay to take the groom and bestman (also a good friend of ours) to Amsterdam for the bachelor party, he said “I can make those decisions” I asked him why and he told me “You know why, do you really want me to say it”. I felt so helpless, I’ve always been financially independent and here he was throwing the fact that I’m not going to be working in my face and I haven’t even officially left my job yet. The conversation ended with me hanging up. He called me back and we “made up”. But his words are still echoing in my head. We are supposed to be partners, I don’t want to fight over money, it’s so ridiculous. What do I do? Let him have his power trip, it’s so demeaning. Is this why couples end up resenting each other, the almighty dollar...
Kelly
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So, this past week DH asked were I wanted to go on vacation this year. We have two of our good friends getting married in July which means bachelor and bachelorette trips and with me not going to be working I told him that we should forget about taking a trip this year. Anyway, my mom called a little while ago and said she wanted to plan a family cruise in April, it would be $479 a person and there would be no airfare. I called DH to find out if he wanted to go and all hell broke loose. He started yelling at me about how I’m taking him for granted, etc. I told him that the only reason I asked him about it was because the cost was so low. He pointed out spending money, etc that we would need. A simple, I don’t think it’s a good idea, would have been fine. But that’s not what happened. When I pointed out that he had previously offered to pay to take the groom and bestman (also a good friend of ours) to Amsterdam for the bachelor party, he said “I can make those decisions” I asked him why and he told me “You know why, do you really want me to say it”. I felt so helpless, I’ve always been financially independent and here he was throwing the fact that I’m not going to be working in my face and I haven’t even officially left my job yet. The conversation ended with me hanging up. He called me back and we “made up”. But his words are still echoing in my head. We are supposed to be partners, I don’t want to fight over money, it’s so ridiculous. What do I do? Let him have his power trip, it’s so demeaning. Is this why couples end up resenting each other, the almighty dollar...
Kelly
