Finally moving in together - what to do?

Finally moving in together - what to do?

I''''m excited that my husband and I are finally moving in together. He''''s a lawyer in Massachusetts, and I''''m a lawyer in New York. He''''s been waiting for his reciprocity in Connecticut, where we''''ve decided to live (in Stamford, to be precise). So, even though we''''ve been married for nearly a year now, we''''re just now actually moving in together, and I''''m running into that cliche problem that everything he''''s bringing to the apartment I can''''t stand. I''''m really trying to find places for it where it will 'look best', while at the same time, not trying to make him feel like I hate all of his stuff, but it''''s really hard. Most importantly, our apartment is filled with furniture that I had from grandparents (nice antique pieces, though), so he''''s beginning to feel like it''''s my apartment, and not his. I don''''t want him to ever feel this way, but it seems like every time he brings in something else (we''''re moving in piecemeal), I hate it (but hide my feelings to some degree). Has anyone else felt that way? How did you resolve it? We can''''t afford to buy everything new right now, so that''''s not an option, although that would be the best...help, and thanks....

His stuff vs. Your stuff - (little long)

I completely understand how you feel. I moved across the country to be with my (then boyfriend) husband, and I gave up a lot of my furniture to make the move easier and less expensive. It was hard to look at his ugly couch and bookshelves for over a year, but I bit my tongue. At first, we had no bedroom furniture. In his old apt, my husband had a huge walk-in closet, so he kept everything, including underwear and socks, stacked on shelves or hanging up. I explained that we needed some pieces of furniture to make our home more 'live-able.' We also compromised not to buy everything at once. Eventually, we bought new couches, but now we are waiting to buy coffee and end tables until we have a house. It's not worth investing in new stuff when you're not sure where you'll live. I still consider some of his bookshelves 'eye sores' but, I am considering doing some crafty things to cover them up. I saw a re-decorating episode of Oprah that illustrated how to add simple 'shutters' to a table or bookcase that hide mess and clutter. There are things you can do on a temporary basis to make a piece of furniture more presentable. Just keep telling yourself that it's not forever, it's just 'for now!'

His stuff vs. Your stuff - (little long)

I came from my own house into a 2 bedroom apt. My hubby also had no bedroom furniture...well, 2 nightstands...he has huge closets...the stuff from my house was old and decrepid so we decided not to use it. We slept on a mattress on the floor with no furniture for the first 6 months! We only had his sofa and loveseat, and a small kitchen table...and we both work in the furniture industry!!! We finally got a bedroom set a few months ago, and now have just ordered a dining room set and new sofas (I hated his even though I helped pick them out for his 'bachelor pad'). Even though we get a great discount, its still expensive! I am giving up other things that I had wanted to get this place in order(tropical vacation, etc.). Like Minibride said, there are lots of crafty and inexpensive ways to make things look nice. I love that show on Lifetime 'Trading Spaces'. Lots of great ideas there!

His stuff vs. Your stuff - (little long)

When we moved in together I tried to make a point of including some of his things in the common areas since most of the furniture was mine. We have a breakfront that is full of his shotglass collection and baseball plates and memorabilia. He also has an office that is all his stuff. It may be hard in an apartment, but that's always a good option - let him have a space that is his alone to 'decorate'.

Is he attached to the furniture, or is it just that you have it and are not ready to buy new? Can you cover tables with decorative cloth or lace? Can you get a slip cover for the sofa? Can anything be painted?

Try to combine things where possible - put some of his things on your bookshelves or hang his pictures on the walls - that should help him feel like it's his place too.

Website with Decorating Tips

Check this site out...has suggestions to help make the most out of your space...
http://homeadvisor.msn.com/Decorate

BUYING FURNITURE

WHEN WE WERE SETTING UP OUR APARTMENT WE REALIZED HOW EXPENSIVE EVERYTHING WAS. SO I PURCHASED THE BEDROOM SET FROM SOUTH CAROLINA AND SAVED $800 FROM AN ALREADY DISCOUNTED STORE. IF YOU KNOW WHAT MANUFACTURER YOU LIKE AND YOU KNOW THE MODEL NUMBER, IT IS THAT EASY!