hello girls-i wanted to know what the etiquette (sp?) was for a gift for a destination wedding.......my husband and i are invited to one....the person that is getting married was in our wedding party/a very close friend who gave us a generous gift....my husband is also in their wedding party....my question is do we give them the same amount or less b/c we are going to have to pay for airfare/hotel/etc.? we want to do the right thing.........TIA
PKASHANSKY
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Re: gift$?
I dont know that there is a specific etiquette to this but I would give what is affordable to you. I dont think anything would be said if u gave less bc u r right u r spending the $ on expenses. I myself would probably match the gift regardless but I think its whatever u can afford is the right thing to do.
AnniesSS
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I would give a smaller gift due to the location of the wedding. THat has to come out of your pocket.
JacnRob729
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I would also think about the expenses that they person had to pay to be in your wedding. They have to do so much.
All in all, whatever you can give. Dont go above your means its not worth it. If you are good friends with the person, they would never give it a second thought!
Sweetd
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I would give the same amount they gave to you.
eogara
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Posted by Sweetd
I would give the same amount they gave to you.
me too
lrs2005
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I look at it as if, I was a member of a wedding party where the wedding was in another state because that was where the bride and groom lived. For me, that would be a 'desitination' even though to them it was local. I would give the same amount as that. So for my girls, 2 were local and one was out of town. The out of town one came to NY 3 times (1 for dress shopping, 1 for my shower, and 1 for my wedding). She stayed at my house all three times. She had to pay for train tickets from Boston to NY for 3 trips. Get a dress, shoes and undergarments, got me a shower and wedding gift. 200x3 = 600 travel 215 = dress 50 = shoes and undergarments and alterations shower present = 40 wedding present = 100 so about 1000 to be in my wedding for the oot BM
My local BMs gave more, but had to spend a lot less.
So I would figure that I would pay for my plane and hotel, my dress and DH outfit (he would prob wear something he already owned), and what I would give would depend upon 1. how much are plane tickets 2. how much is the hotel room 3. are they paying for just the day or any other meals 4. how much are my meals from all of that I would figure out how much I could afford to give. Honestly, it might not be as much as if I were in a local wedding at home.
2003wedding.
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thanks girls for your answers! my husband thinks we should give the same amount they gave us..i am undecided though (it's almost $300 a night for the room)..i am not sure what the airfare is, i have to check it out......they didn't tell us if they were paying for anything for the BP yet-so that may change our gift amount-------i am also hoping to use this trip as a vacation as well!
nferrandi
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Our friends had a destination wedding and they told everyone that their presence was present enough. The trip cost us almost $3000. They did wind up having a small reception in NY and I think we gave $200 for that, which was less than we would have given if they'd only had a NY reception.
Blu-ize
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We went to a wedding in CA and my DH was in the bridal party. Including all the pre-party parties we spent close to $3K. Having said that, we gave what we would normally for any other wedding of a close friend. Look, if we couldn't afford to go we wouldn't have. We were able to afford the 3K we should be able to come up with the gift as well. If money is that tight, then I would re-think the trip all together. I know it may sound like I am contradicting myself, but I would give what you can afford. If you can afford the same gift, then give it. If you can't then pick a lesser amount.
It did irk the crap out of me that we spent that much to go to this wedding considering I hated the bride but it was my hubby's best friend..
