Some times I feel like I give in too much on little things with my husband. It doesnt usually bother me, and i dont even notice to much.. then my mother and sister point it out to me and it makes me crazy. does anyone else ever feel this way?
shamma
Posted:
Member since
Re: Giving in
Live your life for yourself do not let anyone cause a problem between you and yur hubby. Maybe the things that they are pointing out are things that are so minor you did not take anything from you to give in to.
As long as you do not feel as if you are being taken for granted. Life is not fair and women always do and give more than men, in the work world and in the home. Why let something that never bothered you before become an issue now??
Are these major things that you are giving/losing who you are when you give in??? This is strange for me to think of you always having done something that never bothered you but when it is pointed out to you, now bothers you.
All the best
dkga1026
Posted:
Member since
Re: Giving in
I agree with Shamma. The worst thing you could do is compare you and DH to another couple or allow a third party to influence you in your relationship. As long as you're happy, don't let other people's observations bother you!
Jeanene
Posted:
Member since
Re: Giving in
I think one of the things that make a marriage successful is choosing your battles wisely. You both, throughout the marriage, are going to have to let things slide. Things will never be 50/50.
If the things do not bother you, let them slide (no matter what any outsiders may say). Choose the things that are trully important to you to take a stand on. Otherwise - just enjoy.
jms0176
Posted:
Member since
Re: Giving in
It's give and take!! We bicker a lot of stupid things and it's not worth it. I also tend to overlook all the sacrifices my DH makes for me and just harp on all that I do for him. (That's just me of course- like I wrote to the other NW who was upset, I'm still getting out of the selfish stage and thinking like a couple)
michele31
Posted:
Member since
Re: Giving in
In believe in your mom and sister find it necessary to speak to you about it perhaps we don't know the whole story. What are you giving in on? If it is that you want pizza but he wants McD for dinner and you go to McD that is one thing, but for your mom to mention it it seems like perhaps it is about much larger issues. Do you agree? Do you feel that you are not a 50/50 partner? Do you feel that your needs are pushed aside for his?
Scoop
Posted:
Member since
Re: Giving in
I agree with Shamma....don't listen to other people. They probably mean well but who are they to tell you how you should feel?
susans
Posted:
Member since
Re: Giving in
If the things that you give on are truly 'little things' like you say, then ignore what other people tell you. There's nothing wrong with giving in and I think that it's IMPOSSIBLE to be 50/50 all the time.
Marriage isn't a matter of checks and balances, IMO. You shouldn't think in terms of 'I did this so now he should so that' it would be exhausting to try and maintain a perfect balace all the time. I agree with Shamma, in that women will usually give and do more. I think simply because it's our nature to do so.
Sometimes you give more and times will come when he gives more. Usually OVER THE LONG RUN it all manages to balance itself out. Choose your battles wisely and don't bother fighting over the balance of power. You give in because you love him and if these aren't HUGE compromises it's not that big of a deal.
jennbaby
Posted:
Member since
Re: Giving in
If you listen to what other people point out, you will never be happy. Are you happy? Do you both give in to each others wants & needs?
Marriage is based upon giving, sharing etc. As long as you feel happy 'giving' in, thats what matters. Do it because you want to, not by what others tell you, you should or shouldn't do!
JennRenee
Posted:
Member since
Re: Giving in
I think that as long as you are both happy, others' opinions shouldn't matter. No one knows how you arrive at your decisions on what to argue and what to let go, nor is it their business. If you feel taken advantage of, well, that's cause for discussion.
I give in a lot on little things, like where to go for dinner, or which movie to see, because they don't matter much to me. I may look like a pushover to an outsider, but they truly don't mean a thing in the whole scheme of my life, and they make Patrick happy. Pat tends to give in a lot more on the big things (which house to buy, what furniture to buy), because he knows they mean more to me than to him.
