Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

nycchic_24 Posted: Jun 27, 2003 10:05 AM

Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

I have a situation still unresolved since our wedding and I dont know what to do about it.

I have a friend from college who I really get along well with. She is really sweet but I Dont see her often. She came to my wedding and to the shower but for the wedding she told me that she forgot the card at home. Ok I say, no problem, so she says she will send it in the mail. So months go by and I dont get anything and we really dont even speak. So then she comes online one day and says she feels so bad cause she forgot all about our gift and ses sending it. So I get it in the mail and put the check on the side. I come across it like a month and a half later and go to cash it and it bounces. So now the bank takes out the amount of the gift plus the fee for bouncing the check.

I get in touch with her and tell her and she says that someone wiped her accounts out online but shes gonna get the new check to me cause she feels bad. I, being the nice one all the time, tell her to take her time, not to worry about it.

This was 2 months ago and still nothing. Thats so unfair. I was better off when she didnt give me anything at all. I dont know what to do. I see her online but she doesnt talk to me and if i say hi she says brb...thats just so wrong. I guess we are out that money plus the fee huh?? Im sooooo frustrated! What woiuld you do here from here??

Sassyz75 Posted: Jun 27, 2003 10:11 AM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

Really there is nothing you could do...

Just let it drop- it's obvious that she feels bad and if a person is bouncing checks then they obviously have $ problems.

lilmrs Posted: Jun 27, 2003 10:11 AM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

It sounds as though you guys might be drifting apart. Maybe she does not have the money now and is so embarassed about it that she is avoiding you. I don't know how you can tactfully get back the present and the NSF fee though.

sanmik Posted: Jun 27, 2003 10:12 AM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

I would let it go. She's most likely embarassed and she knows you know. That's satisfaction enough. It's lack of manners on her part. I would continue to e-mail her - - nothing wedding related, it will make her feel worse in the long run because it shows you're a better person.

NovemberSue Posted: Jun 27, 2003 10:15 AM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

I would just let it go. She may be embarrassed because she really doesn't have the money now.
I would just forget it.

nycchic_24 Posted: Jun 27, 2003 10:18 AM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

Yeah thats basically what I did, I still love her but just a little annoyed that I had to pay basically twice for her...it ****s!

Lisa Rose Posted: Jun 27, 2003 10:22 AM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

I think you need to talk to your bank. You should not be responsible for the bounced check. the fee maybe, but they should not have taken the $$$ for the check out of your acct. Did you deposit the check or cash it???

nycchic_24 Posted: Jun 27, 2003 10:32 AM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

deposited it

Kate Posted: Jun 27, 2003 10:49 AM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

Wait, I don't understand...

Are you saying that when presented with this check for deposit, YOUR bank, deducted the amount of the check from YOUR account, PLUS a returned check fee?

nycchic_24 Posted: Jun 27, 2003 11:01 AM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

We deposited the check, then we got notice in the mail that they too the amount of the check out of our bank account plus a 15 dollar fee for it being bounced.

Kate Posted: Jun 27, 2003 11:28 AM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

I'm sorry but I do not think they can do that.

.... and you did not cash the check? When you went to the bank, did they give you the money? If so, then it makes sense. They are just taking their money back because they are not getting it from your friend.
But if you did a straight deposit.. I would get down that bank asap.

shamma Posted: Jun 27, 2003 12:18 PM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

I guess its a lesson you paid to learn, sorry to hear, I don't think there is anything you can do in this case. She got charged a fee too, if that's any consolation. So sorry this happened to you. Move on.

kmcwed Posted: Jun 27, 2003 01:52 PM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

My husbands friend bounced his wedding gift to us as well. About a week or so after the wedding, they got upset with their bank and withdrew all their funds. We didn't deposit our gifts until we came back from the HM which was about 11 days after the wedding. Naturally, since there were no longer any funds in that bank, the check bounced. We were charged a fee for it, too.

There really isn't anything we can do. You really can't start hounding someone for a replacement check. It's very frustrating. Grrrrrr.....

Cira Posted: Jun 27, 2003 02:38 PM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

I have an idea as to why they took the money back. At my bank if I deposit anything in the ATM, I automatically get $100 of that deposit in my account (if the dep. amount is $100 plus) - so make sure they gave you that money because they are not allowed to take it away, if they didn't!

I'm sorry that you had to go through this! It's so frustrating and some people really have nerve!

mv1003 Posted: Jun 27, 2003 02:51 PM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

I can't believe some people. She made such a big deal to mention numerous times about the card.... why even send one or say anything?
I agree w/ everyone else though- there's not much you can do. Just be the better person, and what goes around comes around.

jennbaby Posted: Jun 27, 2003 02:53 PM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

I say at wedding time you learn who your freinds are..with everything!

nycchic_24 Posted: Jun 27, 2003 02:56 PM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

I definately 100 percent AGREE!!!!!!

Cindy Posted: Jun 27, 2003 04:52 PM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

I totally agree with what Jennbaby said about learning who your true friends are during your wedding. It was really eye opening for me.

Diane Posted: Jun 28, 2003 05:42 PM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

yep...we did. Hubby's relatives who came to the cocktail hour, and sat at their seats in the reception. They didnt like who they sat next to, so they got up and left..no gift, or nothing. I didnt send them a thank you card

Claud2001 Posted: Jun 29, 2003 12:09 PM

Re: Got really stiffed...and i need advice..long

I had a similar situation. One of my college roommates did NOT come to my wedding and NEVER sent a gift - even though I traveled an entire day to attend her wedding AND gave a very nice gift. She emailed me a few months after my wedding, asking if I could re-confirm my address for her b/c (for some mysterious reason), my wedding card/check had been 'returned' to her. (Yeah, right.) I tell her that we were still at the same address since before the wedding and I'll keep an eye open for her card.

Ahem....I'm STILL waiting for it (two years later, I might add). Actually, the truth is, I have given up waiting for her to 'make right' by what she said and our friendship has taken the brunt of it. I just don't understand why someone would promise you a gift, and then just not send it. But, there are no explainations for some things in life. My friend and I have both become Mothers now, and we did not share in each other's joy - except for a fleeting conversation on Instant Messenger. Very sad.