I figured that I would ask the newlyweds this question:
My FI's grandmother, a demanding and difficult woman, told his aunt that she expects to be escorted down the aisle by FI's uncle (her son and this aunt's husband). She said that she will be escorted like the MOB and MOG will be. When it was suggested that a groomsman would walk her down, she said that only her son can do this, not a groomsman. FI's uncle is not a member of the wedding party. She also said that since she is part of the wedding party, she is going to wear the same color as the bridesmaids. How did you deal with any grandmothers? This grandmother is a widow and will not have a date (but wants to invite 20 of her friends). As I mentioned, she is very difficult, but my FMIL and FI's aunt (both daughter-in-laws) want to put their foot down. FI's father and uncle (her sons) agree with their wives. Were your grandmothers escorted down the aisle? If so, by whom? (sorry if the English is incorrect).
Suzanne
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Re: Grandmother escourted down the aisle?
I think you should have her escorted down the isle with whoever you want her to be, this is your day.. if my granma was alive she would be escorted down with prob an usher..(is she going to be announced at the reception?) And i put my foot down when it comes to family wanting to invite a hundred other people, all you say is oh you want how many well thats 100.00 (example) per person and it comes to 2000.00 when will you be able to get me the money??? watch how fast the tune changes then!!!
Julybaby
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Re: Grandmother escourted down the aisle?
She has offered to pay for all of her guests. I told my FMIL that I'm not hosting the next AARP meeting at my wedding! (FMIL laughed) Knowing her, I'm sure that she will expect to be announced at the reception. FI has another grandmother and I have one and the only thing they have said to me is that they will definitely be there!
Suzanne
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Re: Grandmother escourted down the aisle?
If your going to announce her, then i would have her escorted by a member of the family she is close with...
But your AARP comment was halarious!!
Julybaby
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Thanks! She is causing some stress with her demands and you sometimes need to step back and laugh!
I only wish that one of my grandmothers were around for my wedding...I would put differences aside and have your uncle walk your FH's grandma down the aisle...do it in the beginning so it looks like she is the last one seated...
Valenia
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I don't think your grandmother is asking for anything unreasonable or that will take away from 'your' day. How wonderful that she is so excited about the wedding. Let he be escorted by FI's uncle.
Niecey
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I don't think there is anything wrong with your grandma being escorted by the uncle. I know it is hard but be patient with her. We lost my husband's grandma about a month before the wedding and it was so sad. She had been so excited for the wedding ... bragging to all her friends. We had to bury her in her dress and shoes she planned on wearing to the wedding...so sad. Also, my grandma got very sick and barely made my wedding. Grandma's are a blessing sometimes in disguise!
My grandma was too weak to walk down the aisle so we had decided that the grandparents that were left from either side would not take part in the procession to make it fair. We wanted them to walk down after everyone sat down but before the music for the procession started. The day of the wedding my MIL made her parents walk in the procession. The grandparents went to do as told and she told them no wait. It really upset my grandma and family!
abc7077
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I have the same type of difficult grandmother. I was so tired of getting hassled and upset about things that I weighed things out and if it wasn't worth it I gave in. I actually had to have my brother, who was part of the bridal party, walk my grandmother down the aisle and then go back out and walk the bm down the aisle. It was insane but I couldn't deal with one more fight. I don't think anyone cared and anyway, I was more important to look at coming down the aisle than they were lol!!! You will see that after a while you can't get crazy about everything or your family will drive you insane!!!!
Scoop
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My grandmother was escored by my oldest brother before the parents & bridal party. I would let her choose her escort and let her wear whatever dress or dress color she wants. As for inviting her guests, I would tell you fmil to handle that. Best of luck to you!
ddunne23
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Re: Grandmother escourted down the aisle?
Let your grandmother be escorted by whomever she wants. My grandmother was escorted by my brother who also happened to be a groomsman. And my mom was escorted by my older brother who was not in the BP. Personally, I think it is much nicer for mothers and GM to be escorted by a close family member rather than a random person in the BP.
michele31
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Here is what I would, in your situation. If my grandmothers were alive when I got married they each would have been escorted down the aisle by whomever they chose. Your MIL is not usually escorted by just any member of a bridal party. it is either her husband or son or brother, regardless of whether they are in the BP or not. I would put my foot down on her wearing the same color as the BMs and her invite list! She can invite a total of 2 people at most, IMO. This is not her wedding. And she needs to pick a color AFTER both mothers have already done so. I am really sorry that she is being so demanding, and not just enjoying her grandson's wedding. Let your FMIL deal with this. It is not your place to fight with this women unless you really, really have to.
Valenia
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Re: Grandmother escourted down the aisle?
If she has offered to pay for the guests, why does it matter if she wants her friends there? Also, why care if she wears the same color as the bridemaids? I'm quite certain she'll choose a dramatically different style. I really don't buy into the 'Its My Day' as a reason to make grandma not enjoy what is a very special day for her too.
Julybaby
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Thank you for your advice! I would like to recognize the grandmothers (both living and passed on) in one way or another. I've talked to people at work and tried to remember past weddings as to what was done. I'll figure out a solution. I guess we're just a little ****ed that she is demanding this. You can ask or suggest, but don't demand anything. Now she is asking to invite 20 people! I don't have a problem if she wants to invite one guest (in fact, this guest can keep her company), but not 20! I realize I may sound spoiled because not everyone was fortunate enough to have a grandparent at their wedding (I recently lost 2 grandmothers, one of whom was like a 2nd mother), but these demands are causing some stress!
