having sister problems...
This may be a long read. I just don't know how to handle this situation, and it's bothering me, b/c I can't shake the fact that I just don't care about my sister anymore.
We grew up pretty close, then in our early teens she started hanging with the 'wrong' people. It got really bad, she was doing cocaine and alot of other hard drugs. She was going out with random guys online , and going to hotel rooms to party. I have tried to be there to help her when she needed help. I tried to tell her that she needs to change her life around, but she wouldn't listen to anyone, so I just stayed quiet and let whatever happen happen. Just being there when she needed me was all I could do at the time. (If anyone has ever dealt with someone close to them who has had a drug problem, I am sure you can relate. It's not as easy as telling them 'hey don't do that'.) She would tell me about the house parties she would go to where she would wake up in bathtubs or random places and have bruises on her from falling and she wouldn't remember any of it.
A few years ago, she cleaned up her act, realized that she was doing the wrong things in life. She has since been drug free and sober for a few years now. The only thing she still does is smoke weed. I have tried over and over again to mend our relationship. when she was doing drugs she would lie to me and my mother all the time. It was so hard to take anything she said seriously, b/c we figured she was just lying again. Supposedly she has told us that she isn't doing that anymore. I want to have a great relationship with my little sister, but I don't know how b/c I just don't trust her anymore.
I believe she is still drug free, but the weed is what makes her a different person. Some people can smoke weed and have normal lives, my sister cannot. My sister just has an addictive personality. She cannot just walk away from something. I think that the weed just changes her. She is snippy, and so irritable all the time. I try to tell her that I can't even talk to her like a sister b/c she gets mad if you say something that she doesn't agree with and goes off on me about how bad of a person I am.
The other day she told me she wanted to come by and see our new apartment and the new puppy. I told her that was fine (I livei n queens, she is in North Babylon), She asked me if I could come pick her up, I told her that I would just have to check my money situation and I would let her know. I did not say no. She text'd me back saying how much of a B!tch I was and how much she hates me and hopes that me and DH get a divorce and how I am so mean b/c I wont come and just pick her up. I tried to explain to her about low funds and how I would have to drive from queens to LI to queens and back to LI and then back to queens again. She hadn’t talked to me for weeks, and then sent me an apology through myspace. I told her that I was tired of going back and forth like this all of the time. I am tired of not being able to say how I feel to her b/c she gets so angry with me and wont listen to my side of the story. She blew up yet again, telling me that I was a horrible person for saying those things to her and that she hopes she never sees me again, blah blah blah. I just told her I didn’t have time for her drama anymore. I know it was harsh, but she just doesn’t get it. She thinks she can treat me and my mother the way she does without any repercussions.
She called me Saturday night in tears, crying b/c she felt bad and she said she was not right lately b/c a woman she works with just passed away suddenly and she was good friends with her. She said she didn’t want to be mad at me and vice versa. I told her that I loved her and that I was sorry that we had that big fight. My problem is, I still don’t feel any emotion towards her. I feel so numb and void of any feelings against her. I don’t know if I still love her. I don’t think I feel like we are sisters or we have any kind of relationship. Can anyone offer any advice or anything to try to help me from feeling this way towards her.
:-/ Sorry it’s so long, I just don’t know who to talk to about this, and maybe someone on here has dealt with a family member or close friend with the same issues.
We grew up pretty close, then in our early teens she started hanging with the 'wrong' people. It got really bad, she was doing cocaine and alot of other hard drugs. She was going out with random guys online , and going to hotel rooms to party. I have tried to be there to help her when she needed help. I tried to tell her that she needs to change her life around, but she wouldn't listen to anyone, so I just stayed quiet and let whatever happen happen. Just being there when she needed me was all I could do at the time. (If anyone has ever dealt with someone close to them who has had a drug problem, I am sure you can relate. It's not as easy as telling them 'hey don't do that'.) She would tell me about the house parties she would go to where she would wake up in bathtubs or random places and have bruises on her from falling and she wouldn't remember any of it.
A few years ago, she cleaned up her act, realized that she was doing the wrong things in life. She has since been drug free and sober for a few years now. The only thing she still does is smoke weed. I have tried over and over again to mend our relationship. when she was doing drugs she would lie to me and my mother all the time. It was so hard to take anything she said seriously, b/c we figured she was just lying again. Supposedly she has told us that she isn't doing that anymore. I want to have a great relationship with my little sister, but I don't know how b/c I just don't trust her anymore.
I believe she is still drug free, but the weed is what makes her a different person. Some people can smoke weed and have normal lives, my sister cannot. My sister just has an addictive personality. She cannot just walk away from something. I think that the weed just changes her. She is snippy, and so irritable all the time. I try to tell her that I can't even talk to her like a sister b/c she gets mad if you say something that she doesn't agree with and goes off on me about how bad of a person I am.
The other day she told me she wanted to come by and see our new apartment and the new puppy. I told her that was fine (I livei n queens, she is in North Babylon), She asked me if I could come pick her up, I told her that I would just have to check my money situation and I would let her know. I did not say no. She text'd me back saying how much of a B!tch I was and how much she hates me and hopes that me and DH get a divorce and how I am so mean b/c I wont come and just pick her up. I tried to explain to her about low funds and how I would have to drive from queens to LI to queens and back to LI and then back to queens again. She hadn’t talked to me for weeks, and then sent me an apology through myspace. I told her that I was tired of going back and forth like this all of the time. I am tired of not being able to say how I feel to her b/c she gets so angry with me and wont listen to my side of the story. She blew up yet again, telling me that I was a horrible person for saying those things to her and that she hopes she never sees me again, blah blah blah. I just told her I didn’t have time for her drama anymore. I know it was harsh, but she just doesn’t get it. She thinks she can treat me and my mother the way she does without any repercussions.
She called me Saturday night in tears, crying b/c she felt bad and she said she was not right lately b/c a woman she works with just passed away suddenly and she was good friends with her. She said she didn’t want to be mad at me and vice versa. I told her that I loved her and that I was sorry that we had that big fight. My problem is, I still don’t feel any emotion towards her. I feel so numb and void of any feelings against her. I don’t know if I still love her. I don’t think I feel like we are sisters or we have any kind of relationship. Can anyone offer any advice or anything to try to help me from feeling this way towards her.
:-/ Sorry it’s so long, I just don’t know who to talk to about this, and maybe someone on here has dealt with a family member or close friend with the same issues.
